Tattoo aficionados get tattoos in some weird places. Remember that woman who got her lover's name tattooed on her face -- after knowing him only one day? Well, at least Tori Spelling's husband, Dean McDermott, has known Tori for a lot longer than that. But still. Apparently he just got a tattoo of Tori's name in an "unbelievably intimate spot." This is according to Tori, not some gossip rag. So it's gotta be true. All I can think is: OUCH!
Tori shared on Twitter:
No word on where exactly this "intimate spot" is, but there are really only about three choices. Shall I spell them out for you? His ass. His scrotum. Or his penis.
Which one would hurt the least, I wonder? They all sound pretty excruciating.
This is certainly an act of utter devotion. Would be difficult to cheat with your wife's name tattooed on your balls. Well, I mean, you could. But if anyone asks about it, it would be pretty weird to say, "Oh that? That's my mom's name."
Dean must be thinking that, myriad rumors to the contrary, there's no way in hell he and Tori are ever getting divorced. If he thought it through that much.
I think it's nice Dean is so dedicated to his marriage, but ehhh ... I'm never sure these name tattoos are a good idea. People do split up. The divorce rate is pretty high, as high as 50 percent in some demographics. In Hollywood I think it's like 99 percent. Hell, what if Dean ends up a widower someday? What new wife or girlfriend is going to want to look at that?!
Getting a tattoo in an "intimate spot" makes it very difficult for your next partner to put the ex-wife out of her mind when you two get intimate. Not exactly a turn-on.
Tori may have given us a clue as to where exactly Dean got his tat when she said she was "blown" away. Are you with me?
Anyway, hope Dean and Tori are together for a verrrry long time. Otherwise, Dean will be stuck getting some tattoo artist to turn his "Tori" tat into something like "Tom" -- and that's not much better.
Do you think "intimate" tats are a good idea?