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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Please advise if this is suspicious or normal behavior!

Posted by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 11:51 PM
  • 50 Replies
Ok so DH & I have been 2gethr for nearly 14yrs. It started as a one night stand that kept happening so sex is the foundation of our relationship & hes always had a very high libido- so recently hes been avoiding sex (even tho he usually bitches that we need to do it more often!)
When i bring it up, he says its bcuz he feels fat & doesnt think its good for me bcuz of that etc.
However hes 41 & still in very good shape despite gaining 5-10lbs ovr the last couple yrs. This isnt a big deal to me @ all, hes still sexy & not even overweight...
In my experience, confirmed horndogs do not stop wanting sex cuz they "feel fat" over a few lbs! Which of course is to be expected with aging! The scales tell me im not exactly as light as i was when we met & i was a trim 21yr old ya know?!
So whats the deal?? Do men rly get insecure bout a few lbs to the point of avoiding sex with their wives?? It seems vry odd to me. Have any of u experienced ths with your men or should i be suspicious? TIA for any insight! :-*
by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 11:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jmjdj
by Bronze Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 11:57 PM
I know some are going to come along and tell you he's cheating on you. That may or may not be what's happening...only you would know that. However, there are other reasons he may be avoiding sex and is using the weight thing as an excuse to cover up some other problem he may be having that might not have anything to do with you. And it also doesn't have to mean he's cheating. But he also could be telling the truth. If he's always been really fit and has gained a few pounds he may really be self conscious. We get that way sometimes...so can they.
RhiannonMare
by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 12:02 AM
1 mom liked this

Sure men can be insecure about their weight. Why should they be different from women in that regard?

.Peaches.
by Bronze Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 12:03 AM
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Yes, men do get insecure about a few pounds- they're human too.

I wouldn't go looking any deeper into his explaination that exactly what he's already told you. Give the guy the benefit of the doubt, especially if he's never given you reason to doubt him before. Besides that, he's in his 40's, and a lot of men in their 40's start to experience a decline in hormones, just like women.

Hottmomma607
by Trica on Jun. 19, 2013 at 12:05 AM

Yes men can! No doubt!

opinionatedmom
by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 12:06 AM
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Your right could.be erectile dysfunction. If he is cheating he will be "working late" hiding stuff like texts or phone calls. He will.be dressing up more. He will also accuse you of cheating . He will go to the store and taking to long. He will start wearing cologne more often.exercising more and he will try to be more controlling to you.
chasing
by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 12:17 AM
I was thinking bout the hormones thing too so hav been leaning toward normal, its just that during our 14yrs, hes had ups & downs in hs weight & was nevr evr an issue before! Plus we r only talkn bout a few lbs! Hes muscular & hs career keeps hm active & strong; hes nevr said such a thing as ths before!
Add to that, hes always tryn to get laid more oftn- well i stepd up & gave hm wat he wantd...well now im horny all the time & hes suddenly got ths lame sounding excuse! Sry just feeln confused bout wat he wants & if its even me
opinionatedmom
by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 12:20 AM
I edited my answer to give signs of cheating.
chasing
by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 12:25 AM
Hard to say cuz suma that is right on. He constantly accuses me of messin around +evn tho i kno no one here!) & has outrageous accusations ( im w our 3 kids 24/7!) He does wrk late & sum wknds but its a new job only startd 5mos ago & its an hr away, also its field wrk so jus hav hs cell, nobody i cn ask if hes ther or not. Hes vry controlling. Also opened a new bank acct that he "forgot" to tell me bout...rly!?


Quoting opinionatedmom:

Your right could.be erectile dysfunction. If he is cheating he will be "working late" hiding stuff like texts or phone calls. He will.be dressing up more. He will also accuse you of cheating . He will go to the store and taking to long. He will start wearing cologne more often.exercising more and he will try to be more controlling to you.

chasing
by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 12:35 AM
BUMP! O if it is normal, how can i convince him that hes still vry sexy to me & that i rly do desire him?? He doesnt believ me wen i tell him ths
opinionatedmom
by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 12:39 AM
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I've been cheated on. That screams he's cheating. Especially if he is hiding money. Keep quiet. Don't let him know. Start looking for a job. Start needing money for something for the kids but stash it. Start sneaking shit out of the house. Get a storage.bin to put it in, but send the bill to a different address. My storage guy gave me that tip. While he is out with his ho start sneaking stuff out . Sorry mama. When you leave he won't know what hit him. If your keeping the house change the locks. If he is abusive make sure to hide where he won'tlook.

Quoting chasing:

Hard to say cuz suma that is right on. He constantly accuses me of messin around +evn tho i kno no one here!) & has outrageous accusations ( im w our 3 kids 24/7!) He does wrk late & sum wknds but its a new job only startd 5mos ago & its an hr away, also its field wrk so jus hav hs cell, nobody i cn ask if hes ther or not. Hes vry controlling. Also opened a new bank acct that he "forgot" to tell me bout...rly!?




Quoting opinionatedmom:

Your right could.be erectile dysfunction. If he is cheating he will be "working late" hiding stuff like texts or phone calls. He will.be dressing up more. He will also accuse you of cheating . He will go to the store and taking to long. He will start wearing cologne more often.exercising more and he will try to be more controlling to you.

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