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What did your mom teach you about love and sex? What do you teach your kids?

Posted by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 10:09 AM
  • 26 Replies

 My mom knew I was having sex when I was young but she liked pretending she didn't know.  Most of my sex ed came from my bf's and friends at the time.  With my girls I stress the importance of love and committment along with being safe. I want them to know they can come to me with any questions or issues. My youngest doesn't even have a boyfriend yet but my oldest has been with her boyfriend for almost 3 years now and they were each others firsts and waited until they had been dating for 2 years.

by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 10:09 AM
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by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 10:43 AM

 My mom never really discusssed it with me. She wanted us to wait, that much I knew, but that was it.

I will teach my children from a very young age that sex is ok. I'd prefer they wait but if they dont' I want them to come to me so I can help them protect themselves. I'll be teaching my boy not to have sex with any girl under 18 when he's over. I'll be teaching both my kids not to give in to pressure. If they really "love" you than they wouldn't pressure you. I will also teach them to use their own protection and not that provided by their partner. I don't want any condoms with holes poked in them by a nut job! I'll be teaching them to NEVER send out naked pictures of themselves. I guess I'll be teaching a lot more personal safety and responsibility than abstinance. I waited and have only had my DH as my sex partner. That is ideal imo but they will make their own choices. I want them to be informed ones.

by Ruby Member on Jun. 21, 2013 at 11:04 AM

My mom was too embarassed to talk to me about sex.....I'd go to my dad when I had questions or needed advice.  DD is only 7 so I have a ways to go before I have to talk to her about sex.  I will stress to her the importance of being safe because some STDs will never go away but at the same time I want her to be comfortable in her sexuality and enjoy her freedom and focus on her other dreams.  I don't want sex to be the focus of her life.  For me it kind of was and I'm regretting it now. I wish I would have experienced a lot more sexually but also that I followed my dreams more closely.  For right now I'm just helping her pursue whatever dream she has.  So far she still wants to be a doctor when she grows I'm trying to foster that and keep her interested in that.

by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 11:09 AM
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LOL My moms response to love and sex was always the same "think about what your kids will look like" and " you dont live out of love, all it brings is pain" :-/  My dad always was wierd about things. He would tell me guys only want to get in your pants and hurt you so stay away from them. 

by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 12:19 PM

My mom taught me about sex after finding out I was pregnant. I hadn't really had the in depth sex talk before then, since I was only 12, there had been really no need. She taught me that sex is natural, and to be sure that I am ready for it when I choose to have sex. My kids, I taught them the same thing. My oldest is 17, and he is sexually active. All my kids are educated about safe sex, birth control, pregnancy, std's, etc. My 14 year old son has a boyfriend, but my 15 and 12 year old kids have no interest in dating. 

by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 1:58 PM

 My mom told me just basics and that sex and masturbation are a sin except for sex in marriage. She didnt really teach me anything about love at all. When I did start having sex at 13 & she eventually found out she told me I was a slut, whore and going to hell and that no man would ever want to marry a dirty used girl like me. It didn't even hurt my feelings bc I never believed the way she did and I knew she was wrong.

We talked comfortably about all body parts properly and with ease from our 5 kids (3girls 2 boys) toddlerhood on. They knew about periods by preschool just from a scientific egg didnt turn into baby standpoint and mommy bleeds it out once a month (never asked how it turns into baby except from daddsy sperm they dint know nitty gritty).

At 9 we told them everything. in detail. We are very liberal and open minded and think sex is beautiful and a blessing and we also talked about dangers and consequenes of WHY its best not to have sex too young but if they ever did they could ask us quuestions and for birth control and not get punished or judged. They DID come to us too and we consider that an honor and were grateful they trusted us enough to be able to help them. We managed w/ open communication and protection to get all 5 kids thru teens into adulthood to ages 18-26 and no unplanned or even planned pregnancies so far. We also talked to them a LOT LOT LOT about love and we also told them to please pay close attention to how me and their dad treat and talk to eachother and to NEVER settle for less than that ideal for themselves or for less than they bring to  a relationship you are better off happy and single than in a toxic relationship and you dont need another person to make you whole, but when two WHOLES come together its an amazing thing. We also taught them cheating is always 100% inexcusable and unacceptable from them or their partner. and communication is key.

and sooo much more

Ps 4 of our kids are straight and 1 son 18 is gay or bi sexual but in 2 yr exclusive gay relationship which is 100% fine with us too, we just celebrated their dating anniversary with them

View Full Size Image YVONNE

(This is my husband Todd's Fatherhood Tattoo. It says Roots & Wings bc that's he gave them. The tree has each of our 5 kids initials engraved on it. Has 5 roots & 5 birds flying off on their own but that know that HE-the solid tree is always there for them)

by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 2:26 PM

My mom never discussed it with me. It was all very secretive. Most of what I've learned, I learned from school, friends, and the internet.

My kids aren't quite old enough for the sex talk, but they'll be much more informed than I was.

by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 2:27 PM
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She taught me nothing, I will be open when the time comes for my kids.
by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 5:17 PM

my mom wasnt around until i was 16 so i didnt learn anything from her

by Silver Member on Jun. 21, 2013 at 7:10 PM
My mom didn't teach my anything. She left us when I was 6.

I with dd.. anything she asks me I tell her. She has always known the truth comes from mom.

To edit -- I will stress that sex is a very important part of a relationship with many responsibilities. Also if not careful you can end up like me, pregnant at 16. I turned out ok, and and would surely support her but mot all kids have that.
by Member on Jun. 21, 2013 at 7:14 PM
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i knew the basics fairly young. i knew my mother lost her virginity w/ a longtime bf when she was 16. she wanted me to wait until i was 16, but i lost mine when i was 15. my dad thought if he didn't talk about it, it wouldn't happen. i talk to my boys, (teens), about it all the time. they've told me what they have done already, and we talk about protection, A LOT. my girls are still too young, IMO, to discuss more than the basics.

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