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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Is It Okay to Fantasize About Someone Else During Sex?

Posted by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 8:55 AM
  • 26 Replies
1 mom liked this

Is It Okay to Fantasize About Someone Else During Sex?

by Jennifer Cullen

While you’re getting intimate with your husband or partner, do you fantasize about somebody else?

Maybe you’re trying to get those pesky little to-do lists out of your head. Maybe you’re trying to keep yourself awake after yet another 16-hour day.

Or maybe you’re just a little bored. After all, it isn’t easy to keep things spicy after you’ve been together for a while, and what better way to get yourself through a sexual rut than to think about Ian Somerhalder kissing and caressing you?

Do you consider that cheating?

I don't think so. I think that a little fantasy, even when you’re in the middle of sex with your partner, is healthy. Sometimes you just need a little added oomph. And if thinking about someone else helps turn you on, go for it.

Especially if the fantasizing is only an occasional occurrence

The frequency would be the defining factor for me. If you need to think about, let's say, Channing Tatum every time you're with your in-the-flesh partner, it may be time to start thinking about why. If you're constantly comparing your partner to some imaginary person, you're going to get into some trouble in your relationship.

I know that, in the past, when I was in a relationship that was rocky, I turned to fantasies more frequently. It was a way to stave off intimacy with the person I was in bed with, yet still have that sexual experience I wanted.

These days, now that I'm happily married, I am more likely to fantasize about somebody other than my husband when I'm alone. It just feels right to invite someone else in to my virtual bed when he isn't occupying our real bed.

And I'm okay if my husband does the same. As long as the majority of the time we're together, we're focused on each other.

Would you care if your partner fantasized about another woman while you two were being intimate?

by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 8:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lapcounter
by Gold Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 8:55 AM
Personally I don't think it's okay.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jojo_star
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:29 AM

It's normal, so no, I wouldn't care.  

RheaF
by Silver Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:50 AM

 In my marriage it is not ok to fantisize about others...ever.

mommymonkey
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:53 AM

Honestly, I don't need to fantasize about anyone. DH keeps me plenty happy.

Megan11587
by Megan on Jun. 24, 2013 at 10:03 AM
1 mom liked this
I do it. I would never tell my husband. I do not think it is cheating, but i would never want to know if he does.
Anryan
by Platinum Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 10:04 AM

my brain doesn't function during sex lol so i can say i have never done this...As for my guys, if they did, it wouldn't bother me...providing they didn't call me some other name in the middle lol.

funny_girl3
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 10:06 AM
1 mom liked this

I would be worried that I would say the wrong name or something.  I've been married 10 years and I've managed not to fantasize about anyone but my husband during intimate times, I would feel like that was cheating.

AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Jun. 24, 2013 at 10:16 AM
2 moms liked this

It's not okay.  Would you want him fantasizing about another woman while he's making love to YOU?  I highly doubt it!

ilovemyrileybug
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 10:31 AM
I wouldnt consider it cheating but i wouldnt be happy about it , it definitely would make me feel like im not good enough. I also dont do it to my hubby, ive never had to.
Closet_Case
by Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 10:35 AM
1 mom liked this
I cant think about any one else during sex. As bad as it sounds I've tried in the past, but Sir is all I can think about.
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