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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Is marriage necessary?

Posted by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 2:58 PM
  • 48 Replies

Hi everyone!

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a little over a year now (before that we were extremely good friends) and we just had our daughter Jazmin this past April.  Since I became pregnant we've been bombarded with a lot of marriage questions from both of our families.  It seems that everyone thinks we need to tie the knot in order to make our family complete.  It's getting a little annoying to discuss over and over again, or to correct strangers when they assume that we're husband and wife.  I was just wondering, how many of you are in a happy relationhsip but aren't married?  Is it something you're planning for the future?  Is it possible to be fully committed without taking that step?

by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 2:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AlannaMaria
by Alanna on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:00 PM
I'm happily married!

Bump :)
Bertha21
by Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:03 PM
1 mom liked this
I just recently tied the knot. :) I think it is necessary, but only when you are ready. I know what you are going through! Everyone wanted us to get married when I got pregnant. After I had my son everyone asked all the time. It was annoying! We waited 2 1/2 years after he was born to get married because that is when we were ready.
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hlv927
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:03 PM



Quoting AlannaMaria:

I'm happily married!

Bump :)


Nice  :)  Did anything change for your relationship when you got married?

MrsLondon
by Bronze Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:04 PM

I'm married and I felt it was necessary for me. He agreed and we got married lol. You and your SO need to make that decision for yourself. It's your life. 

hlv927
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:09 PM



Quoting Bertha21:

I just recently tied the knot. :) I think it is necessary, but only when you are ready. I know what you are going through! Everyone wanted us to get married when I got pregnant. After I had my son everyone asked all the time. It was annoying! We waited 2 1/2 years after he was born to get married because that is when we were ready.

Congratulations!  Part of my concern is that I would want a marriage to be for us, not to appease the people in our lives, so I think waiting a while would be a good idea (plus, who wants to plan a wedding when you're trying to get the hang of taking care of a newborn?? Lol)  My boyfriend's been bringing it up here and there, almost like he's testing the waters to see what I think.  I just want to be sure that it's something he really wants, not something that he's feeling pressured to do.

MamaMerkle126
by Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:15 PM
5 moms liked this

I think marriage, ESPECIALLY if you have children together, is very important. Why on earth WOULDN'T you want to commit yourself and your life to the man you love? A strong marriage and a healthy relationship with your spouse is beneficial for the entire family, and a wonderful example to set for your children. When kids see mom and dad happy and in love, they are happier overall and learn by example how to love and be loved.

hlv927
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:19 PM
1 mom liked this



Quoting MamaMerkle126:

I think marriage, ESPECIALLY if you have children together, is very important. Why on earth WOULDN'T you want to commit yourself and your life to the man you love? A strong marriage and a healthy relationship with your spouse is beneficial for the entire family, and a wonderful example to set for your children. When kids see mom and dad happy and in love, they are happier overall and learn by example how to love and be loved.


I definitely agree, I want to raise our daughter in a loving and supportive home.  But if we've already committed to each other on a personal level couldn't we still provide a good example of a healthy relationship to our daughter even if we aren't legally married?

stephs5isenough
by Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:24 PM
3 moms liked this

If you're not married, the commitment isn't fully there.  Anyone could just leave at any time.  Marriage shows commitment because it is no longer that easy to just get up and leave.

Stephanie




Dare to to take the Love Dare too at:


LIVING IN THE ARMS OF JESUS.


Click my tag to follow me there.

MamaMerkle126
by Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:26 PM

You can, certainly. But, it depends on your personal values. I come from a very traditional, conservative background that values the sanctity of marriage as the deepest, most loving bond and commitment you can make to another person.

Plus, the benefits of marriage are awesome. DH and I got a $30 deduction on our auto insurance, and got a HUGE tax return filing jointly! I dunno, I mean, you have to do whatever is right for you, but all I can say is a) why NOT get married? and b) don't you want your daughter to find a good man and be happily married with children someday, if that's what she wants? Why not set the example, commit to your boyfriend, and enjoy the benefits if there's nothing to lose by getting married?

Like I said, you have to do whatever is right for you and your family. I just see no reason to NOT get married!


Quoting hlv927:



Quoting MamaMerkle126:

I think marriage, ESPECIALLY if you have children together, is very important. Why on earth WOULDN'T you want to commit yourself and your life to the man you love? A strong marriage and a healthy relationship with your spouse is beneficial for the entire family, and a wonderful example to set for your children. When kids see mom and dad happy and in love, they are happier overall and learn by example how to love and be loved.


I definitely agree, I want to raise our daughter in a loving and supportive home.  But if we've already committed to each other on a personal level couldn't we still provide a good example of a healthy relationship to our daughter even if we aren't legally married?



Bertha21
by Member on Jun. 26, 2013 at 3:35 PM
Thank you! You should probably wait then. When you have a newborn things are stressful enough, and weddings are so stressful! Has he proposed yet? You don't sound ready, which is perfectly fine. Knowing you want to get married takes time. (at least it did for me) My husband and I waited 5 years before we actually got married. People should stop asking you when you are getting married, it's rude!

Quoting hlv927:




Quoting Bertha21:

I just recently tied the knot. :) I think it is necessary, but only when you are ready. I know what you are going through! Everyone wanted us to get married when I got pregnant. After I had my son everyone asked all the time. It was annoying! We waited 2 1/2 years after he was born to get married because that is when we were ready.

Congratulations!  Part of my concern is that I would want a marriage to be for us, not to appease the people in our lives, so I think waiting a while would be a good idea (plus, who wants to plan a wedding when you're trying to get the hang of taking care of a newborn?? Lol)  My boyfriend's been bringing it up here and there, almost like he's testing the waters to see what I think.  I just want to be sure that it's something he really wants, not something that he's feeling pressured to do.

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