Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Separation - Help!

Posted by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 1:33 PM
  • 12 Replies

I want a divorce. Dh doesn't. We've been through marriage counseling...  I'm cool with at least a separation he doesn't want that either. I don't know what to do.

I don't want to involve lawyers or courts. Plus, I don't have money for all that. I've been and SAHM for 6 years and only recently got a barely part time job.  (8 hours a week) 

I also want to move back home. (13 hr) Dh doesn't want that either. 

Suggestions? 


    MamaMorgan0709  

by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 1:33 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
xoxRachelxox
by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 1:40 PM

You have to do what's best for you and your children. You aren't happy. You tried counseling and it didn't work. 

I would think the next logical step would be a seperation. 

It's not all about what he wants. If you're unhappy, the kids will pick up on it. 

I would say go stay with family for now, until you can get back on your feet. 

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 1:45 PM

 Well you have kids together so he can prohibit you from moving out of state unless you get a court order. You'll need to file for a divorce through the court. Depending on your state you could probably file pro se but I only suggest that if there isn't going to be a lot of fighting.

MamaMorgan0709
by Bronze Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 1:46 PM

Right now that's the plan. I'm not happy and haven't been for a very long time. It for sure is affecting my DD's attitude. 

I've already made arrangements with my family. But, there aren't many jobs or housing where my parents are.

A friend said she'd let me crash at her place until I found a job and a place to live.  There are a lot more jobs and apt. where she is. 

Quoting xoxRachelxox:

You have to do what's best for you and your children. You aren't happy. You tried counseling and it didn't work. 

I would think the next logical step would be a seperation. 

It's not all about what he wants. If you're unhappy, the kids will pick up on it. 

I would say go stay with family for now, until you can get back on your feet. 


    MamaMorgan0709  

MamaMorgan0709
by Bronze Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 1:50 PM

He could get a court order. I don't think it has crossed his mind... 


Quoting furbabymum:

 Well you have kids together so he can prohibit you from moving out of state unless you get a court order. You'll need to file for a divorce through the court. Depending on your state you could probably file pro se but I only suggest that if there isn't going to be a lot of fighting.


    MamaMorgan0709  

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 1:50 PM

 Is this in or out of state? You really don't want to be accused of kidnapping your kid. I'm not saying he will I'm just saying it's a possibility. The court will get involved for child custody/support at the very least as I don't imagine he's going to just let you go.

Quoting MamaMorgan0709:

Right now that's the plan. I'm not happy and haven't been for a very long time. It for sure is affecting my DD's attitude. 

I've already made arrangements with my family. But, there aren't many jobs or housing where my parents are.

A friend said she'd let me crash at her place until I found a job and a place to live.  There are a lot more jobs and apt. where she is. 

Quoting xoxRachelxox:

You have to do what's best for you and your children. You aren't happy. You tried counseling and it didn't work. 

I would think the next logical step would be a seperation. 

It's not all about what he wants. If you're unhappy, the kids will pick up on it. 

I would say go stay with family for now, until you can get back on your feet. 


 

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 1:51 PM

 I'm saying YOU need to get a court order before YOU take your kid out of state. You could go without one but I wouldn't risk it personaly.

Quoting MamaMorgan0709:

He could get a court order. I don't think it has crossed his mind... 


Quoting furbabymum:

 Well you have kids together so he can prohibit you from moving out of state unless you get a court order. You'll need to file for a divorce through the court. Depending on your state you could probably file pro se but I only suggest that if there isn't going to be a lot of fighting.


 

MamaMorgan0709
by Bronze Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 2:00 PM

Gotcha!   As of right now, I have not filed for divorce or separation.  Originally, this was to be just a week long visit.  Now, I'm wanting it to be permanent...

We'll talk tonight and he's got the weekend off. I'm hoping we can come to an agreement without having either one of us court ordered. 

Quoting furbabymum:

 I'm saying YOU need to get a court order before YOU take your kid out of state. You could go without one but I wouldn't risk it personaly.

Quoting MamaMorgan0709:

He could get a court order. I don't think it has crossed his mind... 


Quoting furbabymum:

 Well you have kids together so he can prohibit you from moving out of state unless you get a court order. You'll need to file for a divorce through the court. Depending on your state you could probably file pro se but I only suggest that if there isn't going to be a lot of fighting.


 


    MamaMorgan0709  

MamaMorgan0709
by Bronze Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 2:01 PM

Out of state... across the country actually.

Quoting furbabymum:

 Is this in or out of state? You really don't want to be accused of kidnapping your kid. I'm not saying he will I'm just saying it's a possibility. The court will get involved for child custody/support at the very least as I don't imagine he's going to just let you go.

Quoting MamaMorgan0709:

Right now that's the plan. I'm not happy and haven't been for a very long time. It for sure is affecting my DD's attitude. 

I've already made arrangements with my family. But, there aren't many jobs or housing where my parents are.

A friend said she'd let me crash at her place until I found a job and a place to live.  There are a lot more jobs and apt. where she is. 

Quoting xoxRachelxox:

You have to do what's best for you and your children. You aren't happy. You tried counseling and it didn't work. 

I would think the next logical step would be a seperation. 

It's not all about what he wants. If you're unhappy, the kids will pick up on it. 

I would say go stay with family for now, until you can get back on your feet. 


 


    MamaMorgan0709  

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 2:08 PM
1 mom liked this

 Well good luck. I hear people do that but I'm the type who would want it in writing at the very least. Hard to prove verbal agreements when things go bad.

Quoting MamaMorgan0709:

Gotcha!   As of right now, I have not filed for divorce or separation.  Originally, this was to be just a week long visit.  Now, I'm wanting it to be permanent...

We'll talk tonight and he's got the weekend off. I'm hoping we can come to an agreement without having either one of us court ordered. 

Quoting furbabymum:

 I'm saying YOU need to get a court order before YOU take your kid out of state. You could go without one but I wouldn't risk it personaly.

Quoting MamaMorgan0709:

He could get a court order. I don't think it has crossed his mind... 


Quoting furbabymum:

 Well you have kids together so he can prohibit you from moving out of state unless you get a court order. You'll need to file for a divorce through the court. Depending on your state you could probably file pro se but I only suggest that if there isn't going to be a lot of fighting.


 


 

MomToovey
by Marianne on Jun. 28, 2013 at 9:54 PM
1 mom liked this

 I'm sorry you're in this situation. Good luck. ((HUGS))

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)