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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Sexless

Posted by on Jun. 29, 2013 at 9:19 AM
  • 22 Replies
So my DH and I have been married almost 17 years. We have 15,12 and 7 year old. It seems like all we do is fight anymore and I alway get the blame for everything. He is the type of person who always wins a fight. I'm a SAHM and it seems like all I do is be maid, landscaper, chef, and drive ppl where they need to be. I never get a thanks or anything. We constantly fight about sex. I'm exhausted all the time and he's a night owl and decides he wants sex at 11-midnight. I get up around 5:30-6 and I need my sleep sorry. Then if we do have sex he gets mad cause I'm not vocal enough, porn star like. He wants me to scream out and act like a porn star. I've never been like that!!! Another thing is he is constantly on his phone and if I pick mine up I get 3rd degree about who I'm talking to etc. he is sure I'm having an affair, which is untrue, and goes through my phone but has a lock on his! What's going on and why is he acting bio polar? Seriously I never know what is going to set him off. HELP!
by on Jun. 29, 2013 at 9:19 AM
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Replies (1-10):
charley31
by Bronze Member on Jun. 29, 2013 at 9:25 AM
Can you try counseling? He sounds insecure and controlling. If he wont go to counseling and work with you to make the marriage and your life together happier and better then you need to decide what you want your life to be like. Marriage isnt about always being right its about comprise. .love..appreciation etc. Hugs and good luck
the.warden
by Member on Jun. 29, 2013 at 9:28 AM
3 moms liked this
Have you ever heard he saying "The guilty dog barks first"? To me, it sounds like he may be having an affair. Be it emotional or physical. I was in your situation once upon a time and he was the same as your DH. Come to find out he had been cheating on me for years. Maybe you could suggest counseling?
AJ-47
by on Jun. 29, 2013 at 9:31 AM
1 mom liked this
He sounds guilty of something..but I hope he isn't.
rosboro5
by Member on Jun. 29, 2013 at 9:38 AM
That's what I think. He flipped out the other day cause on of his friends stopped by to borrow something. He is just sure something went on while he was here. I got what he wanted and he was getting ready to leave when DH pulled in and he stayed for a few mins and talked to him. He quizzed me about how long he'd been here etc. then went through my phone and we got in a huge fight! He said my story had too many details which means I'm lying wth?
RheaF
by Silver Member on Jun. 29, 2013 at 9:52 AM
1 mom liked this

 Red flags Mama! I would try counsling first, but it really seems like something is going on there. Be it an affair, or a porn addiction, etc. Something is not right.

rosboro5
by Member on Jun. 29, 2013 at 11:02 AM

Sorry if I'm on a rant but Im just trying to figure things out.  OK here is what happened yesterday.  I went with him to town in the morning we were gone from 9-9:30 to 12;30.  My aunt was waiting on me cause I had to go get bloodwork done and she was going to watch the kids for me then do a little shopping after.  We left around 1-1:30 got home around 5.  During these 4 hours I went to dr, went and picked up a part from my husband, went to Walmart, Joanns, Lowes and got supper to bring home.  The dr office is a 45 min drive so some of this was travel time.  As soon as I get home I get a text from a friend, this frined thing is a whole other situation, asking what we were doing.  My response is my DH is working and we just got home from dr office.  When my husband got home he flipped out about my commen saying I was completely being a bitch by saying we just got home,  well we had!  He said she had text him and asked if they could come out,  Well Im sorry I want some time without them, is that wrong??? They want to be here every waking minute, it drives me CRAZY!!!!! Then he says I can't believe you spent the entire day with your aunt, HELLO I spent the whole morning with you and I was with my aunt and the kids!  I'm at my wits end with him IDK what to do or what the HELL his problem is.  He says that text is the reason we have no friends because I say things like that and Im a bitch,  I saw nothing wrong with what I said, does anyone else???  AHHHHHHH I'm losing my mind!  Also he has lied to me about things he says our kids have said to him.  He will twist things around in stories to make him look like the good guy and me the bitch.  Even things I say he will twist around to make him look good.  Could this be a midlife crisis??

We never do anything together we always do stuff with our kids or this other couple.  He doesn't understand that I want to not have them around sometimes.  When they come over, which is at least 3-4 times a week, they stay till 10:30 or 11.  These are the same friends who will leave their kid at our house for hours on end withoout checking on her.  She is good but really. 

charley31
by Bronze Member on Jun. 29, 2013 at 11:46 AM
1 mom liked this
I dont even know what to say. You need to put your foot down. If you want a better life/marriage things need to change. Your husband sounds like an asshole..im sorry he does...a lieing controlling manipulative ass. Lifes too short. I would sit him down...demand things change. Counseling. ..he needs talk to you with respect. Maybe you need to ask yourself if this is how/who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Whats best for you and your kids? Good luck
Docgirl2000
by Member on Jun. 29, 2013 at 11:53 AM
1 mom liked this
I have a friend whose dh told her the reason they didnt have friends was becuz everyone thought she was a bitch. Turned out they didnt have any couple friends becuz dh was cheating on her and the women were uncomfortable. My friends dh and their dh's worked together and made it a very difficultsituation for all involved. My friend didnt find out the truth until very recently.
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TommyAbby
by Melissa on Jun. 29, 2013 at 12:22 PM

he's cheating on you.. maybe not physically yet, but emotionally.

I would put my foot down and demand counseling or tell him to get out. There is no reason you should live your life with that going on. 


SteffM0501
by on Jun. 29, 2013 at 12:29 PM
1 mom liked this

He's the one having an affair. He criticizes and chastises you so he can justify his actions and accusing you of an affair is a redirect so you won't ask questions about his behavior. 

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