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Wedding Guest List?

Posted by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 9:40 PM
  • 12 Replies

I am currenlty planning my wedding and I've gone over about 50 drafts of the guest list.

My df and I are paying for it on our own, and needless to say, with two babies in diapers, we're not rolling in money, so our budge is tight. I just wanted to go to the justice of the peace but he wants a nice wedding, because he says I deserve to be a princess :)

To the point. The caterer we decided on is expensive and we can really only pay for about 50 people to attend the wedding. I have a large family on my Dad's side, and I don't speak to most of them, for various differences that no one ever talks about. I am inviting my paternal grandmother, but no one else from that side. 

I know it's gonna create some tension, more tension I should say. How should I handle the crap that's gonna come?

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by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 9:40 PM
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by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 9:43 PM
2 moms liked this
I have a huge family & I only had a wedding with 30 people. Some friends and family felt left out and tried to give me crap. I just told them that it was nothing personal and we wanted a small intimate wedding and there was a lot of other people not invited. You're always going to piss somebody off, but it's your day and if people are pissed then whatever.. You can't please everyone! Congrats :)
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 9:50 PM
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 If anyone  says anything just say you really WISHED you could have afforded inviting everyone you  care about but with babies in diapers and all that you couldnt make that wish come true so you had to limit it to those you see and spend the most time with that you are closest too even though there are admittedly other people you care about that you couldnt  include. 

If they are still upset after that, oh well, they'll get over it, just focus on savoring your special day YOUR WAY within YOUR budget. It'll be perfect for you. : )

Heck I have a HUGE close knit extended family literally hundreds of cousins alone! But whenTodd and I got married we  invited those who are our hearts they are SOOOO close to us, which was our 5 teens, our sibling and bil and our two sets of parents and we spoiled them all and gave them key roles in the ceremony bc we did it that way and was able to spoil them at an awesome reception we could only afford bc it was for such a small group of people. So we all got spoiled by keeping it intimate. : ) No extended family was invited,they ere surprised but when they foundout  NO extended was invited at all they all felt better like at least it was fair .  


by Alexandra on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:01 PM

Have 50 people for your dinner reception and invite the rest for the party reception.

by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:13 PM

Forgive my ignorance, but what's a party reception? I thought it was all one thing?

Quoting beeky:

Have 50 people for your dinner reception and invite the rest for the party reception.

by Gold Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 11:47 PM
Blame it on small venue and small budget.
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 11:51 PM
It is one thing.

And if they ask just tell em the truth.

"You barely speak to them and dont feel comfortable inviting them"

I had a few of my dads really close friends who i grew up with until i wa about 10, ask me and i laughed and said

"Because we hardly speak, and everytime im around you i get head lice, and i dont want my father to see how happy my family really is, nor does he deserve to know and i know you will show him. So you arent invited"
by Platinum Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 12:50 AM


by Silver Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 12:54 AM
It won't . I promise. But you have two options. Opt for an off hour reception. Serve appetizers or just invite immediate family and send out announcements after the fact.
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 8:07 AM
You can prepare to say something like you could only fit a small, intimate wedding in the budget and unfortunately you just can't invite everyone. Some people will still have a hard time accepting it, but if you stay consistent and say the same thing to each person who asks, they will just have to deal.
You can also look at other options. A change of venue, change the time and serve brunch with much cheaper food and less (if any) alcohol, or serve appetizers and drinks, or a buffet rather than a plated dinner. A pasta buffet is really fun, but relatively low cost. Or go all out with the food, but seriously budget other areas to allow for more expensive food. Thrift store and yard sale shopping for various bowls, then filling them with water and using floating candles will save hundreds of dollars over floral centerpieces. Matchbooks run about $0.50 each as wedding favors. A venue that is already nicely decorated does not need extra decorating. A casual rehearsal dinner over something formal will cost way less. I could go on with ideas.
But no matter what, make it your day and stick to whatever you decide. The relatives will get over it, or not, but that is nothing you can control.
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 8:27 AM
Just be honest, you were on a tight budget.
Or you can do like my dd's Kindergarten teacher, she had her wedding at like 2 (between meals) and had a cupcake reception. She had a large wedding but only served cupcakes at the reception. If was fun :)
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