Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

My mom is putting strain on our marriage

Posted by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 8:57 AM
  • 26 Replies

My husband and I are expecting another little one next year. Either Feb or March (still have to get an ultrasound to find out exactly when), and we have found the perfect house to start our family in. It is a cute little 3 bedroom with a full basement, big backyard and from the looks of it kids of all ages. Currently we are in a 650 Sq Ft apartment and this house is 1250 Sq Ft without adding in the basement.

So what my mother is doing. We have names picked out for our unborn both male and female. She is telling us to change them to more common names. We love the names Malachi and Gwendolyn. Very old world :) And now she is telling us where we should live :/ We are looking at a house in Fredricsburg PA which is 30 minutes from my moms place in Camp Hill. I have a 2 yr old nephew that lives with my parents (along with his parents) and she is using that as a way to get me to stay close. I love my nephew but I cant find a USDA house anywhere within 15mins of Harrisburg PA, and this townhouse in Fredricsburg has everything.

We have told her that it was our child so we will name him/her will have the name we pick out, and we have told her numerous times that it is only 30 mins away. We have suggested that we swap weekends for seeing eachother. They come to us one weekend we go to them another. My family barely shows up to our apartment that is litterally 5 minutes from them so I didnt see much of an issue for us moving 30 minutes away. My thought is "not like they will show up to see us anyway".

Rant over :)


Thank you everyone for listening to my rant! :-) We have put an offer in today on that house in Fredricsburg and hoping we can modivate those motivated movers out of the house before I start getting any bigger!! :-)

by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 8:57 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Mommabearbergh
by Bronze Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 9:01 AM
Do what makes you happy and benefits your family because when its all said and done you don't want to be the one who gave in to domes one else's happiness and not enjoyed your own
kagegirl
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 9:04 AM
1 mom liked this

You have to stand your ground with your mom. It is YOUR family that you are building. My mom also criticized what I named my middle daughter, and she has been trying to talk me into moving back to my hometown for months. It's not going to happen. Just set your course and stay true. She will always have something to say. The trick is to not let it affect you. 

JRSMOM0621
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 9:06 AM

We are hoping that we can be happy and everyone at least be happy for us. I just hope that when we get moved in and settled in that they will see it is a best thing for us.

Quoting Mommabearbergh:

Do what makes you happy and benefits your family because when its all said and done you don't want to be the one who gave in to domes one else's happiness and not enjoyed your own


Jennanonymous
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 9:07 AM
1 mom liked this

Your "not like they will show up to see us anyway" is right on. My family is the same way. We live 35 minutes from my family, used to be 2 hours away, and only see them like once a month which is how much we saw them before. My in-laws used to drive 1 1/2 hours to see us before we moved here almost weekly and now we see them multiple times a week because we live in the same town as them, they just live 15 minutes outside the town.

JRSMOM0621
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 9:08 AM

Yep that she does. I am noticing more and more that she is turning into my grandmother. who thinks I need to get my tubes tide after this child :/

Quoting kagegirl:

You have to stand your ground with your mom. It is YOUR family that you are building. My mom also criticized what I named my middle daughter, and she has been trying to talk me into moving back to my hometown for months. It's not going to happen. Just set your course and stay true. She will always have something to say. The trick is to not let it affect you. 


kagegirl
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 9:12 AM

What in the hell is it with family that makes them think that because they share DNA with us, they have a say in our lives? Don't even get me started on mine. I just do what I want. What are they gonna do? Spank me and take away my birthday?


Quoting JRSMOM0621:

Yep that she does. I am noticing more and more that she is turning into my grandmother. who thinks I need to get my tubes tide after this child :/

Quoting kagegirl:

You have to stand your ground with your mom. It is YOUR family that you are building. My mom also criticized what I named my middle daughter, and she has been trying to talk me into moving back to my hometown for months. It's not going to happen. Just set your course and stay true. She will always have something to say. The trick is to not let it affect you. 





smurfbitebug
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 9:18 AM

 unfortunately that is a one-way relationship and it will probably stay a one-way relationship. I'm sorry that's the case, because it becomes very difficult to deal with... trying to maintain a balance between making your family happy and making them happy, because it will never be both at the same time. Sad, but true. Eventually you have to make some hard decisions. Not now, and I hope never...but probably eventually. I'm sorry. :/

JRSMOM0621
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 9:30 AM

Its okay momma. I wish I didnt have to be a bitch to get my mother to understand that it is my life but it looks to be the only way.

Quoting smurfbitebug:

 unfortunately that is a one-way relationship and it will probably stay a one-way relationship. I'm sorry that's the case, because it becomes very difficult to deal with... trying to maintain a balance between making your family happy and making them happy, because it will never be both at the same time. Sad, but true. Eventually you have to make some hard decisions. Not now, and I hope never...but probably eventually. I'm sorry. :/


JRSMOM0621
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 9:32 AM

According to my mother she is still allowed to spank me.....yeah right try it and you will loose everything

Quoting kagegirl:

What in the hell is it with family that makes them think that because they share DNA with us, they have a say in our lives? Don't even get me started on mine. I just do what I want. What are they gonna do? Spank me and take away my birthday?


Quoting JRSMOM0621:

Yep that she does. I am noticing more and more that she is turning into my grandmother. who thinks I need to get my tubes tide after this child :/

Quoting kagegirl:

You have to stand your ground with your mom. It is YOUR family that you are building. My mom also criticized what I named my middle daughter, and she has been trying to talk me into moving back to my hometown for months. It's not going to happen. Just set your course and stay true. She will always have something to say. The trick is to not let it affect you. 





kidlover2
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 9:39 AM
Are you young? My mom is an over controlling busy body but the last time she threatened to punch my face, I was 18. I struggled for years with similar issues you have. My mom openly flirted with all my boyfriends....I tried pleasing her and that made me unhappy. I tried fighting back and that just enraged her more. Now I say ( very pleasantly) " That's a great thought mom, thanks for sharing with me. I will think about it." Then I walk away and make my own decisions with my own family.

Quoting JRSMOM0621:

According to my mother she is still allowed to spank me.....yeah right try it and you will loose everything

Quoting kagegirl:

What in the hell is it with family that makes them think that because they share DNA with us, they have a say in our lives? Don't even get me started on mine. I just do what I want. What are they gonna do? Spank me and take away my birthday?



Quoting JRSMOM0621:

Yep that she does. I am noticing more and more that she is turning into my grandmother. who thinks I need to get my tubes tide after this child :/

Quoting kagegirl:

You have to stand your ground with your mom. It is YOUR family that you are building. My mom also criticized what I named my middle daughter, and she has been trying to talk me into moving back to my hometown for months. It's not going to happen. Just set your course and stay true. She will always have something to say. The trick is to not let it affect you. 






Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)