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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

how do you make it up to your d.h when you are in the wrong?

Posted by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:38 PM
  • 43 Replies
I don't ant to ft into too many details, but I lied about a money thing. Spent 6 grand over a period of 6 months that he didn't know about. Half of it. Was dmetal work. I had some bad cavities. He didn't see it as a priority. I did. The majority of the rest was groceries. He only thinks groceries should be bought once every two weeks. Anyway, he found out, and we've been fighting about it.
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kidlover2
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:39 PM
1 mom liked this
No clue. I wouldn't have lied and my husband would want me to have dental work and food. Perhaps apologize for lying??
loisl25
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 2:53 PM
Yeah. I was desperate. I have apologized multiple times. I've been paying it back. I've paid back over two grand so far.


Quoting kidlover2:

No clue. I wouldn't have lied and my husband would want me to have dental work and food. Perhaps apologize for lying??

boshs1andonly
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 3:16 PM

honestly i don't know. my husband doesn't always know how much I spend, but he never throws a fit when he finds out because i handle the money anyway. there's not really much you can do other than apologize. if he doesn't want to accept it, that's on him, it can't be undone. 

furbabymum
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 3:16 PM

 If it were anything else my Dh might forgive me but that...he would probably murder me in my sleep. It was wrong for you not to discuss it with him. Though cavities are a priority so if he was telling you not to get them fixed he could kiss your arse! Also, if he doesn't realize how much it costs to feed the family then you should let him do the shopping and cooking one month. Whenever my DH bitches about food costs I tell him that and he backs down immediately.

For me, admitting it is usually enough. When I'm wrong I can readily admit it and am honestly apologetic. He doesn't require me to do anything else, just as I don't require him to do anything else.

furbabymum
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 3:17 PM
3 moms liked this

 This sounds rather dysfunctional. He's seriously making you "pay back" money that should belong to both of you to begin with?

Quoting loisl25:

Yeah. I was desperate. I have apologized multiple times. I've been paying it back. I've paid back over two grand so far.


Quoting kidlover2:

No clue. I wouldn't have lied and my husband would want me to have dental work and food. Perhaps apologize for lying??

 

goddiddlyumshis
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 3:18 PM
My husband would never deny me getting my teeth fixed.

And we food shop once every 2 weeks, what's wrong with that?
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lilbit53009
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 3:20 PM
1 mom liked this

head...end of story lol

but no really this sounds weird. he wouldn't let you use money to buy groceries and get your teeth fixed? didn't he help eat the groceries?

do you work?

IQuitCounting
by Bronze Member on Jul. 11, 2013 at 3:24 PM

... well, I don't see you in the wrong here, except in lying to him about it (and then, if he was being unresonable and pig headed, not even that).  And now you're "paying it back"?  Is the family money not yours too?  Does your health not matter?  Sorry, I'd be pissed at him being pissed at me.  It's not like you went on a shopping spree and bought a new wardrobe.

loisl25
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 3:35 PM
Yeah. He's not much of a "What's mine is yours"guy. He's more of a, "I'm the one who earns it so it's MINE" guy.


Quoting furbabymum:

 This sounds rather dysfunctional. He's seriously making you "pay back" money that should belong to both of you to begin with?


Quoting loisl25:

Yeah. I was desperate. I have apologized multiple times. I've been paying it back. I've paid back over two grand so far.



Quoting kidlover2:

No clue. I wouldn't have lied and my husband would want me to have dental work and food. Perhaps apologize for lying??


 


Linus77
by on Jul. 11, 2013 at 3:35 PM

The best thing is to admit where you agree that you were wrong.  Most people just want their point to be acknowledged.  And then let him know that next time you will talk with him beforehand.

If he's wanting more, I don't know what to tell you.  My hubby is always happy to be told he was right because I can be very stubborn and like a dog with a bone if I believe I'm right.

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