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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Caught hubby emailing ex friend/ex messing around buddy

Posted by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 2:01 PM
  • 18 Replies
So to shorten the version of my story. Got married sept 2010 hubby had female friend in life I was ok with her then I started to find texts that she would say they needed alone time and also shed say I live you. Well one year in Mother's Day he sent her a happy Mother's Day gorgeous all I got was happy Mother's Day. She also joked around and told him that if she was his wife ages love to travel with him he travels a lot for work I got livid I was told that I didn't get the joke it didn't mean anything. This went on the first 2 years and then I had enough told her to get lost and she did. Well I just got into his emails and found out she emailed him 2 weeks ago he's been talking back sharing our life and I've been livid. Wtf would you about this situation? Friends that are women are fine as long as boundaries aren't crossed I'm not a jealous person but this situation I think is inappropriate
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 2:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Jul. 14, 2013 at 2:49 PM
1 mom liked this

 I would re affirm that because  of  her inappropriate past talk and behavior she is not an appropriate friend and you  feel betrayed and your trust is hurt now and he  needs to show that YOU  and his marriage are more important than her by keeping her OUT of his life and that she is also NOT a real friend to HIM either anyway because a REAL friend wouldnt flirt with him\ and disrespect or try to damage his marriage. She is nothing but trouble and he should not want someone like that in his life even online or by text. She is toxic so she is not worth it. He needs to decide who is more important to him her or hopefully YOU!

hugs good luck

 YVONNE

hockey21
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 3:04 PM

I am not a jealous person neither but my husband is MY HUSBAND...,he does have female friends but none that email or call him..when we go out in groups we always couple up...no stray friends allowed...,  not sure if this will help you good luck

AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Jul. 14, 2013 at 3:29 PM

Sounds like you're going to have to lay in on the line for your husband.  Her, or you.

MomToovey
by Marianne on Jul. 14, 2013 at 3:48 PM
1 mom liked this

 Once again, Yvonne has the perfect advice!

I'm sorry, OP. Good luck.

Quoting earthangel1967:

 I would re affirm that because  of  her inappropriate past talk and behavior she is not an appropriate friend and you  feel betrayed and your trust is hurt now and he  needs to show that YOU  and his marriage are more important than her by keeping her OUT of his life and that she is also NOT a real friend to HIM either anyway because a REAL friend wouldnt flirt with him\ and disrespect or try to damage his marriage. She is nothing but trouble and he should not want someone like that in his life even online or by text. She is toxic so she is not worth it. He needs to decide who is more important to him her or hopefully YOU!

hugs good luck

 




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krystyneh
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 3:53 PM
I would have a talk with him again. She should just leave him again. Lay everything out for him and explain everything all over again. Sounds like she wants your husband and that it's not a "just friends" type thing. Your husband may think it is but obviously she thinks its something more serious.
SlightlyPerfect
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I just don't understand why some people choose to live in filth.
Today at 9:27 AM
by Slightly Perfect on Jul. 14, 2013 at 5:22 PM

Sharing your life how? Like giving her intimate details?

slightlyperfect

SlightlyPerfect
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I just don't understand why some people choose to live in filth.
Today at 9:27 AM
by Slightly Perfect on Jul. 14, 2013 at 5:25 PM
1 mom liked this

He was friends with her before he met you. She emailed him, probably wanted to know what was going on, and he responded. Unless you find something inappropriate--like flirtation or divulging intimate details you don't think she should know--who cares? But I wouldn't put blame on her. You're focusing on the wrong person.

I think the issue is with your husband. That whole "gorgeous thing" isn't right. He might be communicating with her to inflate his ego.

slightlyperfect

Candygurl17
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 5:42 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes there is flirtation and he is sharing intimate details. Telling her things about me I'm not comfortable with others knowing I'm not posting what was said on here. He's also sent her pictures of him half makes of his before and after pics from working out.


Quoting SlightlyPerfect:

He was friends with her before he met you. She emailed him, probably wanted to know what was going on, and he responded. Unless you find something inappropriate--like flirtation or divulging intimate details you don't think she should know--who cares? But I wouldn't put blame on her. You're focusing on the wrong person.

I think the issue is with your husband. That whole "gorgeous thing" isn't right. He might be communicating with her to inflate his ego.


SlightlyPerfect
Report
I just don't understand why some people choose to live in filth.
Today at 9:27 AM
by Slightly Perfect on Jul. 14, 2013 at 7:16 PM
2 moms liked this

Yeah, I'd totally forget about her and just focus on him. Because if it's not her, it'd be someone else. That's just not right. You have to confront him on moral grounds.

Quoting Candygurl17:

Yes there is flirtation and he is sharing intimate details. Telling her things about me I'm not comfortable with others knowing I'm not posting what was said on here. He's also sent her pictures of him half makes of his before and after pics from working out.


Quoting SlightlyPerfect:

He was friends with her before he met you. She emailed him, probably wanted to know what was going on, and he responded. Unless you find something inappropriate--like flirtation or divulging intimate details you don't think she should know--who cares? But I wouldn't put blame on her. You're focusing on the wrong person.

I think the issue is with your husband. That whole "gorgeous thing" isn't right. He might be communicating with her to inflate his ego.



slightlyperfect

mama23brie
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 7:31 PM
1 mom liked this
Its simple. Tell him its either her or you. Not both. Lines were crossed numerous times and its obvious an affair is inevitable if he keeps talking to her. So he needs to decide, before you REALLY feel betrayed!
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