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Marriage Trouble. Help?

Posted by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 12:06 AM
  • 4 Replies

Been married almost 1 year, been together almost two. I'm 21, He's about to be 24. We have an almost 1 year old daughter. She is the center of bothe our worlds :)

For the longest time now I have felt like our marriage has.....not really existed. I feel like I've got a roomate instead of a husband. Things have changed soo much and i dont like it. But I dont know what to do about it.

When we first met and started dating we could talk for HOURS on end and never get bored of each other. He listened to my problems, was my comfort on bad days, and was my refuge. I loved him more than i had loved anybody before. We went out multiple times a week, not on dates, but just hanging out being weird and goofy, enjoying each others company, hanging with friends, yet still having serious conversations, talking about dreams, discussing school and careers, what we were trying to make of ourselves. We became best friends.

Now, I cant get him to have a full conversation with me. I talk and he zones out or watches tv or plays a video game. We hardly ever go out, and when we do i get so frustrated cause he's always so eager to get home. I try to talk about my concerns and he either just shrugs his shoulders, asks ME what we should do and has no opinions, or gets mad at me about "nagging on him" all the time.

Sex is a "yeah right" kind of subject. I never get satisfied and its always the same. exact. thing. all. the. time. He says he doesnt like change and that he likes our sex the way it is. But thats when we actually do some bedroom action. 90% of the time he doesnt even want to. He's more interested in his video games or the TV. 

And then he will randomly bring home flowers for me. Just for no reason. And say nothing, just hands them to me and continues on to whatever....

We cant afford counsiling, Idk what to do or try anymore. Any advice?

by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 12:06 AM
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by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 4:05 AM
1 mom liked this

 If you can't afford counseling, I would go to your local library and check out some marriage improvement and marriage and relationship enhancement type books, both sexual ones and just general marriage/relationship ones and start there. But don't just read them, put them into action. Don't wait for HIM to improve or change things, YOU be the catalyst for the  changes you want to see and SHOW him thru action how much more enjoyable your lives together are by adding surprises and bits of fun  and unexpected pleasures and joys and memory making into the picture. If he asks you about all your new concerted efforts let him know you are working hard to make your marriage more joyful and fullfilling for BOTH of you bc you  love him and  think he and your marriage is worth it and you don't ever want it to get hohum, you always want it to be special like he is to you. Hopefully this attitude and behavior once he realizes how enjoyable it is will be contagious to him.

Good luck : )


by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 4:08 AM
He's bored. Aren't you?
by Silver Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 4:10 AM

no advice here. i don't think counseling is always the best option but i think you guys need to TALK. communication is pretty important. does he know his gaming/TV bothers you? have you sat him down and said "hey, i'd like to talk about our days, and i'd like you to listen"?

by Silver Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 5:46 AM
Do you guys go to church? They are a great resource.

I'm so sorry
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