Now going back through my Radiation treatment/body scan I have so many emotions. Theres more at stake this time. I have a husband and kids who need me.
Dh tries talking to me about it but I just cant bring myself to open up. Ill say its scary but once I feel like Im going to cry I shut down and stop talking. I want so badly to tell him how Im feeling but I cant. I dont want to let dh see me like that because I dont think HE would be able to see me that vulnerable and I think itd make him worry more so I keept it to myself.
Ive just not been a break down and cry person unless Im alone or when Ive watched the boys play this week, I just cry thinking what if this is it? What if they lose me, who will take care of them (dh works A LOT). If I died now they wouldnt remember me, it rips me in two.
Idk how to let him in and show him my weak side and its eating me up. How do you break down those walls?