Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

trust issues, anyone else?....please no one judge and comment only if not harsh.

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 9:44 PM
  • 30 Replies
1 mom liked this

I have never ever had trust issues before and I am wondering what i can do to get some help, i hate being this way. Not sure if i should go to counseling or what. I actually am hoping someone on here has trust issues with their spouse as well and we can sort of guide eachother through this rough time, like whenever we feel the urge to snoop or anything confide to one an other to help with the issue....i dont know just a thought. I am young and so is my husband. Maybe theres a book you guys could suggest, that will open up my mind a bit? I am afraid to announce my whole story on why i have trust issues on here because i saw some people be mean and harsh to others and i dont want to get upset. So if anyone could relate to trust issues or is just a nice general person who loves giving advice please message me(:

by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 9:44 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Jul. 23, 2013 at 9:52 PM

Is that a neck tattoo?

And honey, just being honest, your title is going to pull in people like me like a moth to a flame. And since I'm here, lemme throw this out to you: You admit you are young, I'm assuming you are under 20 by the looks of you. If you are having serious trust issues and anxiety it's a very clear signal that you are too young to be married. 

armywifey1019
by Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 9:58 PM
itsa chest tattoo, nothing wrong with tattoos.(which has nothing to do with my post) People get married young, no matter what age you are you are going to have problems in your marriage.& i never said i have serious trust issues, I started getting them and I want to seek help,a friend or something that could help.
Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

Is that a neck tattoo?

And honey, just being honest, your title is going to pull in people like me like a moth to a flame. And since I'm here, lemme throw this out to you: You admit you are young, I'm assuming you are under 20 by the looks of you. If you are having serious trust issues and anxiety it's a very clear signal that you are too young to be married. 


ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Jul. 23, 2013 at 10:01 PM
1 mom liked this

That's the thing,  you shouldn't marry someone you don't trust 100%. No one should, at any age. If you don't trust that person with your life, your livelihood, and your future with every fiber of your being, you shouldn't be married to them. You aren't ready for that kind of commitment without that.

Quoting armywifey1019:

itsa chest tattoo, nothing wrong with tattoos.(which has nothing to do with my post) People get married young, no matter what age you are you are going to have problems in your marriage.& i never said i have serious trust issues, I started getting them and I want to seek help,a friend or something that could help.
Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

Is that a neck tattoo?

And honey, just being honest, your title is going to pull in people like me like a moth to a flame. And since I'm here, lemme throw this out to you: You admit you are young, I'm assuming you are under 20 by the looks of you. If you are having serious trust issues and anxiety it's a very clear signal that you are too young to be married. 



armywifey1019
by Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 10:05 PM


ive been with him for 2 years not once did i not trust him except this time, this just started recently.

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

That's the thing,  you shouldn't marry someone you don't trust 100%. No one should, at any age. If you don't trust that person with your life, your livelihood, and your future with every fiber of your being, you shouldn't be married to them. You aren't ready for that kind of commitment without that.

Quoting armywifey1019:

itsa chest tattoo, nothing wrong with tattoos.(which has nothing to do with my post) People get married young, no matter what age you are you are going to have problems in your marriage.& i never said i have serious trust issues, I started getting them and I want to seek help,a friend or something that could help.
Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

Is that a neck tattoo?

And honey, just being honest, your title is going to pull in people like me like a moth to a flame. And since I'm here, lemme throw this out to you: You admit you are young, I'm assuming you are under 20 by the looks of you. If you are having serious trust issues and anxiety it's a very clear signal that you are too young to be married. 





Rachael-Dawn
by Bronze Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 10:21 PM
1 mom liked this
Is he military? I ask because of your (edit to fix) screen name. If so could his status be sparking something new in you? I think a lot of people go through this at some point. Looking for a friend to help you is a great idea. Just make sure she's not a downer. Meaning somebody that just wants to bash their dh all the time. Sounds like you need an encourager.
MagicTemptation
by Christina on Jul. 23, 2013 at 10:33 PM

Without having any idea of what the trust issue pertains too we are limited on giving advice. Go to amazon.com in the book section there is a relationship help section. You can narrow down to something that suits your situation. Counseling either alone or with him couldn't hurt, right? Speak with him about the issue, how to resolve it, how to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Verrine
by Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 10:43 PM

What is triggering this new feeling? If his behavior hasn't changed, then maybe it's in your head? Maybe you're anxious because ... whatever the reason might be. Are you feeling lonely away from home? Are you bored? 

If his behavior has changed, then you might have a good reason to be suspicious.

Being in the Army or being an Army spouse adds a lot of stress to a marriage and family. There are counselors on base who are free. Don't be afraid to get help.

jojo_star
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 12:13 AM

Being young isn't an excuse to have trust issues. I was 18 when I got married, I trust my husband totally and completely. It irritates me when people excuse their immaturity with their age. If you are too young to trust, then you shouldn't be married. My advice, talk to him. Figure out why you have trust issues, and be open and honest with him. Unless you have a real reason not to trust him, then divorce him. If you can't even trust him, why are you married to him?

earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Jul. 24, 2013 at 7:09 AM

 When Todd and I met we both admitted we had trust issues because of painful pasts and even though logically we knew it isn't fair to bring that trust issue and  put it on a new innocent person it was still scary, it helped us in  our  case (during dating period that we were both open and honest about it and why and what kinds of things we found comforting) one thing we found comforting was that we both felt the same way and had very strong boundaries about what we considered unfaithful or cheating or inappropriate in an exclusive relationship (maybe not for everyone but for anyone we would want to be in a relationship with ) and we both felt 100% the same way, so that was reassuring. Also it helped us both that we felt we both wanted to be 100% open to one another, we wanted to give eachother full access to whatever they may want for reassurance, we know eachother's passwords to everything and he leaves his cellphone out in the open and no locks on our phones or laptops, he is very courteous about letting me know where he is going and when he is going to be back and great about answering the phone while he is out in case I need him for something, but BECAUSE we are both so open since we have NOTHING  to hide this openness doesn't feel like an invasion of privacy at all because we tell eachother everything anyway, because of this neither of us seems to feel the need to check eachothers emails or any accts online or laptops or phones , just knowing its ok with  eachother if we ever do seems to be assurance enough. Being wide open with one another is comforting because like I said if no one has anything to hide, then why secrecy?

My young adult daughter read a book on healing trust issues that she said helped her a lot, I don't remember the name of it, but like someone else said go to amazon and type in book on healing trust issues or if you can't afford it, go to the  library and look at the relationships books on improving marriages, relationships  and healing trust issues.

Also go to youtube and in  search type in HYPNOSIS FOR HEALING TRUST find quiet place where you wont be disturbed (choose recording at least 15 min  or longer) lay down, close eyes (use headphones or earbuds if possible) listen to recording and just breathe relax and imagine what they tell you  to, its 100% safe and natural and you are in control at all times and it wont make you do anything against your will ever. I promise (I am certified so I know all about it). It's really like a therapuetic guided daydream with deep effective benefits. The more often you do this the deeper it goes and more helpful it is. You can listen to different recordings on this topic each day or your same favorite over and over. If you accidentally fall asleep it still works bc your subconscious never sleeps and you can still hear.

Finally I don't know your situation, or why you  or your s/o has trust issues, but honestly SOMETIMES it is fitting and reasonable to have trust issues if that person cheated on you or consistently lies or hides things from you, in that case LISTEN TO YOUR inner intuitions and gut feelings, don't ignore them, we have those to help  guide us in ways more than we can logically  explain. It's a mistake to ignore them. Make sure you have rules and boundaries and expectations that you both  agree on  as a couple and that you both follow what you two agree on and that there are REAL consequences if one of you don't.

good luck HUGS

 YVONNE

gmoen1977
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 8:00 AM

without trust and communication your marriage is doomed.  You need to figure out why you don't trust him and in the case of an affair, ive been there and tried to come back from it but ended my marriage two years after i found out about i thought was the first one.  with little information to go but no one can help in any way or give advice.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)