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What would you do if your husband ever secretly videotaped a fight?

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Posted by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 8:39 AM
  • 27 Replies

Husband Who Secretly Videotaped Dramatic Argument With Wife Deserves Divorce

by Kiri Blakeley

Imagine one day you have a knock-down drag-out fight with your husband. You know you sound like a toddler having a tantrum but you just can't help yourself. You are beyond frustrated with him and your relationship. You reach the point of no return and act in a way you're not proud of. For most couples, that's where it would end. Hopefully you'd make up later, and you'd be left thinking, "How did I let myself get that upset?" But for one woman, this isn't where it ended. For her husband was secretly videotaping his wife's epic meltdown and then posted it on YouTube. Would you be surprised if I said the couple are now getting divorced?

According to Jim, the husband, this is what his wife acts like when she "doesn't get her way."

Jim and his wife are riding in a car when they begin arguing over going to a lake. She wants to go. He doesn't. Commence nuclear meltdown. "I'm about to go craaaaazzzzyyyyy!!!" she screams. "I wanna go on the laaaaake!!!!" She even begins kicking her feet on the car dashboard.

Does not getting her way warrant this behavior? No. But rarely is a fight about whatever the couple is fighting about. She wants to go to the lake and he doesn't? It's not hard to figure out from the video that what this is really about is a massive power struggle. She feels ignored. He feels belittled. The usual story.

By the time you get to a fight like this, a lot has gone before it. We don't know what she has had to put up with in the marriage to get to the point where she felt her only option was to act like this. Of course, according to Jim, she acts like this all of the time. But he has something to do with that too. He's pushing her buttons.

Additionally, Jim is the only one who knew they were being recorded, so he had the advantage of modifying his behavior so he appeared calm and tolerant in the midst of her tantrum. Quite an unfair advantage, that. So unfair that you'll have to go to the link to gawk at her meltdown because I don't want to post it here.

Let's not forget that marriage is supposed to be a sacred institution. Part of the foundation of marriage is the trust that you can be your worst with your partner, and even if he doesn't forgive you, he at least doesn't share it with millions of people.

The wife did manage to get the video removed from YouTube, but other channels and media outlets picked it up, so it's out there forever now. Too bad she didn't secretly record him in the sack and post that so we could all laugh!

Thank goodness these two are getting divorced.

What would you do if your husband ever secretly videotaped a fight?

by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 8:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MDJennyJen
by New Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 8:47 AM
I don't care how ridiculous a fight we're having is I have NEVER acted like that. I really don't think that is normal behavior.
MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:04 AM

Learn from it

earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:21 AM

Todd and I have disagreements and at most get an annoyed or frustrated tone but still speak respectfully and it's never anything dramatic enough that would warrant taping. Our worst moments are nothing even close to how that lady  acted but never the less in our worst moments, we help eachother thru it and help calm and work out the situation so everyone feels heard and understood and cared about. We compromise if we need to or whatever.

If I acted like that lady (WHICH I DONT SO DONT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT IT LOL)  I can only imagine that I would be pissed and embarassed and  humiliated that he taped me because I'd be so ashamed of how I had reacted and would feel betrayed that instead of working thru my behavior and discussing with me after I calmed down that he made a spectacle of me at my worst publically instead of shining light on my best moments like someone you trust and care about and loves you for better  and worse should do. (although I can understand why he would do that if  he already knew in his head or vocalized he was divorcing her anyway, then it would be more tempting.) Otherwise he would have been better off urging her to get counseling.

 YVONNE

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:46 AM

 I've secretly recorded my DH lots of times. See when he'd have a bipolar episode he wouldn't remember it. So I would record them with either a pocket voice recorder or the video camera so he could see himself afterward. I would never disrespect him and put it on youtube though. That is just beyond the pale.

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Jul. 24, 2013 at 11:03 AM

 I would be annoyed. But I don't act like the lady in the video though, lol

KSBlueyz
by Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 11:16 AM

I think it's wrong....really wrong. I also don't think the issue is how she acted (although I agree its not exactly appropriate behavior), he had no right to do that. Their fighting needed to say between them and he advertised it for the whole world to see. Why? Because he wanted to be right and didnt care what the costs were. 

My thoughts are if he'll do that during a fight, what else will he do? He's obviously shown that he doesn't respect her, their marriage or himself. 

jenaree
by Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 11:22 AM

That didn't seem like a fight, she was freaking out while he was calm. If he had to endure that more that just that one time then he was totally justified in humiliating her.

MelanieJK
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 11:30 AM

They need to get a grip.     Who in their right mind would want to live the rest of their life with this style of "communication"?      What a hellish miserable life!

I wouldn't have a problem with his videotaping it.     It might help to watch and discuss it when they're not in the heat of a battle.     Posting it is intolerable.     That's intended to embarrass her publically.     You don't do that to someone you love.

beinghuman
by Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 12:28 PM

"That is just beyond the pale" Is that like a regional phrase? What does it mean exactly


Quoting furbabymum:

 I've secretly recorded my DH lots of times. See when he'd have a bipolar episode he wouldn't remember it. So I would record them with either a pocket voice recorder or the video camera so he could see himself afterward. I would never disrespect him and put it on youtube though. That is just beyond the pale.



furbabymum
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 12:42 PM

 I read a lot. Tend to adapt a lot of language from my books.

Anyway, it means unacceptable; outside of agreed upon standards of behavior.

Quoting beinghuman:

"That is just beyond the pale" Is that like a regional phrase? What does it mean exactly

 

Quoting furbabymum:

 I've secretly recorded my DH lots of times. See when he'd have a bipolar episode he wouldn't remember it. So I would record them with either a pocket voice recorder or the video camera so he could see himself afterward. I would never disrespect him and put it on youtube though. That is just beyond the pale.

 

 

 

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