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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Is it possible to re-fall in love? Even if....

Posted by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 1:43 PM
  • 11 Replies

DH and I have been together for almost 9 yrs now. We are exact opposited and sometimes its great, sometimes it makes things more difficult. I realize that I need more out of our relationship and I am afraid he cant do it. We come from completely seperate backgrounds and have totally different wants and desires. But we usually get along great and have a deep love--I truly believe he is my soulmate. But how can two people in love not be happy?

We realize what our problem is-our differences-and are trying to find a counselor to help us sort things out. We are torn between trying to make it work and letting it go. We have tried different things over the years but one of us is always unhappy. I dont mean like depression unhappy, but lacking in some serious need like friends or free time or something.

So the question is, is there anything that you ladies have experienced that may help? We both want to work on it but we know we have to be able to clearly let it go if we cant figure something out as we are always 'trying to work on it.' We know we cant try forever but we arent ready to give up either. Thats a good sign, right?

by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 1:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SweetMama823
by Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:56 PM
1 mom liked this
You both obviously still care for each other for wanting to work things out. You just really need ti start over in your marriage. Change everything you've known and done. Get to know eachother again. Change your attitudes. Be positive. Talk to eachother a lot include one another on things. Both have to put effort and come together to make each other happy. Good luck
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charley31
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:05 PM
2 moms liked this
My dh and I are the definition of opposites. Together almost 13yrs now. Im always saying I could never be with someone like me. I need the opposite. But we have had our share of rough patches. One thing I have recently learned and it definitely helps me is to focus on the good he does and what I like about him. Sometimes I can get caught up in what he does/doesn't do that pisses me off that I completely overlook or forget the good ex...that he wakes me up every morning by rubbing my legs and feet. Simple stuff like after working in the heat all day he walks into our home smiling happy to see me and our son. Etc etc. We also did date night. We made sure it was something new and stopped being n parents and just went back to being us. Good luck.
enlightened_24
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 10:26 AM

Thanks ladies! It helps to know we both want to work on it and we have noticed some things we need to go back to doing. It always gets rougher when finances are an issue but soon we will be able to have little dates again and spend more time together. Working opposite shifts we never really see each other so I brought our journal to write in today at lunch. Its a good start.

Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 10:33 AM
1 mom liked this

 ((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))

la-cosa-nostra
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 10:36 AM
1 mom liked this

you can be in love and not be good for each other, ive been there. But if you truly want to work on it, then you need to comunicate and compromise, in regards to all those things that you both want out of life. if that cant happen, then why would you choose to spend your life miserable? 

furbabymum
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 10:39 AM
1 mom liked this

 You get other people to fulfill the wants and desires that your spouse can't. This obviously not including sex. :P Like I enjoy movies and plays and my DH doesn't so I go with friends or family. My DH enjoys sporting events and I don't so he goes with friends or family.

enlightened_24
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 11:39 AM

Unfortunately for me, I dont know anyone around who shares my interests. We live in a shitty place and there is a lot of trouble to be had and very few (or no) good people around us. I started spending time with this girl I used to work with because we get along great. It lasted about a week before DH got a job and now I am back to being stuck at home. I dont mind being there with the kids, but it makes it difficult to do anything I enjoy. I cant even color without the pages being torn up or the crayons/markers being eaten LOL Toddlers!


Quoting furbabymum:

 You get other people to fulfill the wants and desires that your spouse can't. This obviously not including sex. :P Like I enjoy movies and plays and my DH doesn't so I go with friends or family. My DH enjoys sporting events and I don't so he goes with friends or family.



boshs1andonly
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 11:42 AM

As long as you both want to make it work, it's worth staying to see it through. There was a time when i started to be able to see my life without my husband, that i might be happier  without him. But I stayed and we worked it out, here we are 5 years later going strong. it's completely possible to fall back in love if you stay open to it

Jennanonymous
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 11:48 AM

Start dating again, pretent as though it is how it was at the beging of your relationship. Think back to the things you did then togther and try to make time to do those things still.That has been the best thing I have found to help rekindle things with my DH.

enlightened_24
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 12:18 PM


We have been trying to figure this one out. When we first met we were teens in college and all our time was spent at parks at midnight or walking around a sleeping town. Its harder to do t hose things with two young kids. We are planning to have more dates and try to get out of our rut. We tend to do the same things every day with no variation or time for ourselves. I wish we had taken that vacation this yr


Quoting Jennanonymous:

Start dating again, pretent as though it is how it was at the beging of your relationship. Think back to the things you did then togther and try to make time to do those things still.That has been the best thing I have found to help rekindle things with my DH.



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