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Would you want to date someone who you think is better-looking than you?

Posted by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 9:31 AM
  • 18 Replies

I Don't Want to Date a Man Who's Better-Looking Than Me

by The Stir Bloggers

Holding handsThe other night I was walking down the street with one of my girlfriends when a super attractive man walked by us. Tall, dark brown hair, green eyes, charcoal gray business suit. As he briskly walked in and out of our lives, it prompted a discussion about the things we look for in a man. Sure, being attractive is definitely high up on the list, following behind a great sense of humor and allowing his lady to tune into Keeping Up With the Kardashians without vocalizing his desire to commit suicide.

And then she said something that really stuck with me: "I don't know about you, but I don't want to date a man that's more attractive than me."

Being discriminatory against a man for being too good looking? On one hand I'd be stupidly excited to date Tyson Beckford or Channing Tatum knowing I had a perfect 10 on my arm. But then I'd wonder, without fail, if people thought that I wasn't beautiful enough to be next to him.

And then I said: "You know what? I sorta feel the same way."

Listen, I'm not saying that I wouldn't accept a date invitation from Tyson or Channing. After seeing Tyson in person a few weeks back, I surely wouldn't mind grabbing a bite with him and staring into those eyes for a solid hour over Korean barbecue.

But with that said, I think every woman likes to stand out a little bit. When I'm walking down the street with my significant other, I sort of want the eyes to be on me. Call me selfish or self-centered, that's fine. I just think it makes sense for the man I'm dating to be on an even-level playing field with me.

I know. Yes, I'm well aware that there are things that make a man attractive other than his outer appearance. As someone who doesn't have a physical type, those little personality traits make all the difference to me. I suppose that if I fall for some crazy handsome guy who may just be better-looking than me, I'll deal with my fear of not measuring up then. But for now, I'll stand firm on my stance: I'd rather be more attractive than the man I'm dating.

Where do you stand? Would you want to date someone who you think is better-looking than you?

by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 9:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Jul. 29, 2013 at 9:48 AM

LMAO, I guess I kind of agree. I  dated several men in the past, before I met my husband, who I consider better looking than me, and it never ended well. 

I think part of the problem is that really good looking people, and I mean REALLY good looking people, tend to know they are really good looking. It becomes part of their personality, and it can turn out to be a rather ugly trait. 

mrs.hartman12
by Bronze Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 9:54 AM
I have dated really good looking p;eople, I have dated not so good looking people and I am married to someone I think is more or less at the same level as looks go. Hard to say because I love him so much he is the sexiest man ever in my eyes.
AtiFreeFalls
by Bronze Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 10:24 AM

 That has been my experience as well.  Not all, but many who are super attractive are huge jerkwads and treat people not as pretty as them as somehow worth less than they. 

I think my husband and I are on a pretty even keel, and he was my first boyfriend, so I can't say how I would feel with a man more attractive than I.  I always said I would never date a man shorter than me, though.  My husband LOOKS shorter than me because he slouches.  He's actually about a quarter inch taller, but I look taller than him.  Everyone thinks I'm taller, and it used to bother me a little but our connection is so much more important than anything anyone might say or think.  I imagine I would feel the same if he were a lot more attractive than I.

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

LMAO, I guess I kind of agree. I  dated several men in the past, before I met my husband, who I consider better looking than me, and it never ended well. 

I think part of the problem is that really good looking people, and I mean REALLY good looking people, tend to know they are really good looking. It becomes part of their personality, and it can turn out to be a rather ugly trait. 

 

ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Jul. 29, 2013 at 10:28 AM

Now that I think about it, I don't know if it's so much being a jerk to others, as it is not having any positive personality traits because they never have to work for anything. People fawn on them because they are so good looking, it's like it becomes their entire personality. 

Do you watch 30 Rock? The episode with Jon Hamm where he gets everything handed to him because he's incredibly good looking? It's like that. Every incredibly good looking man I've ever known, and I mean movie star good looking, has completely ruined himself after he opens his mouth and starts talking. 

You can be insanely good looking, but if you are completely uninteresting or self-absorbed, you have much less to bring to the table than an average looking funny person.

Quoting AtiFreeFalls:

 That has been my experience as well.  Not all, but many who are super attractive are huge jerkwads and treat people not as pretty as them as somehow worth less than they. 

I think my husband and I are on a pretty even keel, and he was my first boyfriend, so I can't say how I would feel with a man more attractive than I.  I always said I would never date a man shorter than me, though.  My husband LOOKS shorter than me because he slouches.  He's actually about a quarter inch taller, but I look taller than him.  Everyone thinks I'm taller, and it used to bother me a little but our connection is so much more important than anything anyone might say or think.  I imagine I would feel the same if he were a lot more attractive than I.

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

LMAO, I guess I kind of agree. I  dated several men in the past, before I met my husband, who I consider better looking than me, and it never ended well. 

I think part of the problem is that really good looking people, and I mean REALLY good looking people, tend to know they are really good looking. It becomes part of their personality, and it can turn out to be a rather ugly trait. 

 


AtiFreeFalls
by Bronze Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 10:36 AM
1 mom liked this

 To me, expecting to be treated like a god is being a jerk lol.  I understand that distinction, though.  I don't watch 30 Rock (though I keep meaning to!).  But that sounds familiar.  And I've seen many people be super attractive until wind escapes their mouth lol.  I've thought to myself "Wow, he's super cute..." and then he says something and I think "And a huge idiot scumbag.  Never mind." lol

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

Now that I think about it, I don't know if it's so much being a jerk to others, as it is not having any positive personality traits because they never have to work for anything. People fawn on them because they are so good looking, it's like it becomes their entire personality. 

Do you watch 30 Rock? The episode with Jon Hamm where he gets everything handed to him because he's incredibly good looking? It's like that. Every incredibly good looking man I've ever known, and I mean movie star good looking, has completely ruined himself after he opens his mouth and starts talking. 

You can be insanely good looking, but if you are completely uninteresting or self-absorbed, you have much less to bring to the table than an average looking funny person.

Quoting AtiFreeFalls:

 That has been my experience as well.  Not all, but many who are super attractive are huge jerkwads and treat people not as pretty as them as somehow worth less than they. 

I think my husband and I are on a pretty even keel, and he was my first boyfriend, so I can't say how I would feel with a man more attractive than I.  I always said I would never date a man shorter than me, though.  My husband LOOKS shorter than me because he slouches.  He's actually about a quarter inch taller, but I look taller than him.  Everyone thinks I'm taller, and it used to bother me a little but our connection is so much more important than anything anyone might say or think.  I imagine I would feel the same if he were a lot more attractive than I.

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

LMAO, I guess I kind of agree. I  dated several men in the past, before I met my husband, who I consider better looking than me, and it never ended well. 

I think part of the problem is that really good looking people, and I mean REALLY good looking people, tend to know they are really good looking. It becomes part of their personality, and it can turn out to be a rather ugly trait. 

 


 

jmjdj
by Bronze Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 1:41 PM

 I was married to someone I considered to be better looking than me.  Turns out, many of the really good looking ones have self esteem issues and when people stop fawning over them they don't know what to do.  My ex always needed his ego stroked and I just wasn't the person to do that for him.  Self confidence is a very attractive trait....and more often than not it's found in more average looking people! 

Just my two cents worth...but I agree with ReadWriteLuv as well!

jellybeanjean
by Bronze Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 2:47 PM

Any man that is better looking than me would be considered pretty - and pretty really isn't my type. I like my men rough around the edges.

Roo1234
by Bronze Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 2:58 PM

I have dated some men who most would see as more attractive as me.  The thing was that they adored me and loved talking to me, and found me very appealing...not just physically, but because I wasn't the "shallow" type of girl that they normally dated.  I was never on a diet, I didn't worry about my make-up (never wear it) and I was willing to get messy without complaint. I am not the type to get jealous, but they were also men of character who didn't treat me poorly and didn't pay overt attention to other women.

I ended the relationships for a variety of reasons, but appearance never had anything to do with it.

Cafe Steph
by Head Admin on Jul. 29, 2013 at 3:02 PM

I think every guy I dated - including my husband - was better looking than me. I don't think any of them had a major ego, though, even the Zoolander type I was with, you know "ridiculously good looking" LOL. They were all good guys and treated everyone really well. Now if they'd been super hot and jerks about that, or the type who had everything handed to them on a silver platter because of their looks, then they wouldn't have been attractIVE to me or attractED to me, lol.

MomTiara19
by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 3:08 PM

I have...

these guys spent more time in the mirror than I did.I also got mean looks from women who said I wasnt pretty enough for them(yikes..lol).Constantly pretty women flirting in my face.Too much drama.

I dont like high maintanance guys...lol..

My dh is good looking but hes modest and faithful.

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