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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Would you be as upset if you found out your partner was "Facebook cheating"?

Posted by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 8:27 AM
  • 15 Replies

‘Facebook Cheating’ Is Just as Painful as the Real Thing -- But Should It Be?

by Nicole Fabian-Weber

cheatingNo doubt, infidelity has been on the rise since social media has sunk its claws into the otherwise somewhat content world. We now pretty much have access to anyone, any time we want. And let's not forget, things are so much easier to say -- whether they're filled with hate or filled with lust -- when you're sitting behind a computer and don't have to face an actual human being. But should "Facebook cheating," i.e., exchanging sexy messages, etc., online -- and online only -- be just as upsetting as the real thing?

Turns out, most people think so.

A new study shows that couples who discover online acts of infidelity are just as upset as if they realized their partner was cheating in real life. Research conducted by Texas Tech University concluded that, although the stages of coping with online cheating are different, the infidelity itself creates a similar emotional experience for the person who was cheated on. Jaclyn Cravens, one of the lead authors of the study, said: "This is very important because there is a line of thought that if the infidelity was discovered online, or confined to online activity, then it shouldn't be as painful."

I can't imagine what it would be like to discover something as awful as this. It would, without question, be incredibly painful and feel like a punch to the gut. But I can't help but wonder if the relationships in which the cheating was solely restricted to the Internet are more salvageable than the ones where actual, physical contact is made.

By no means am I diminishing "Facebook cheating." Like I said, I'm sure it's absolutely devastating. But the truth is, online, people are completely different people. Clearly, one's "online persona" is a part of them (that may or may not lie dormant) if they have the ability to act a certain way -- but is it the "real" them? And isn't the web, for some, just a really bad way to deal with real life problems they have? For instance, trolls probably aren't as big of assholes in real life, but they're probably not very nice or happy people. Am I making any sense?

I guess this is just another interesting and sad layer that's been added to society, compliments of social media. I certainly don't condone or would want to be on the receiving end of "online infidelity," but maybe the sum is bigger than its parts? Maybe the problem is social media? Maybe people should ... get the hell offline for a while.

Would you be as upset if you found out your partner was "Facebook cheating"?

by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 8:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
furbabymum
by Gold Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 10:19 AM
1 mom liked this

 I'd stab him in the leg then take all the money. :)

MagicTemptation
by Christina on Jul. 30, 2013 at 10:37 AM

It's the same thing as sexting or. It may not be physical cheating but to some people, like myself I would be more devastated by an emotional affair than a physical one. Any emotional affair can be non physical and hurt worse.

AJ-47
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 10:49 AM
1 mom liked this
Cheating is cheating, online or in real life.
gmoen1977
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:03 AM

I used Facebook to prove his affairs and I also used it to complicated the one girls relationship back home because the on again off again boyfriend back home didn't know she was cheating with my now x husband...she called it off went home and he swears he cut it off...never knew I actually did.

xoxRachelxox
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 3:00 PM
1 mom liked this

This.

Quoting AJ-47:

Cheating is cheating, online or in real life.


MomToovey
by Marianne on Jul. 30, 2013 at 4:13 PM

 Would I be as upset if I found him FB cheating as opposed to "regular" cheating? Yep. Cheating is cheating. I don't care how it's done.

arthistmom
by Bronze Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 4:15 PM

Ridiculous! The problem lies with the person who is cheating--no more, no less. And I don't see how going "offline" is a solution, either, since all it does is delay the inevitable. And "upset" wouldn't begin to describe my reaction.

Quote:

Maybe the problem is social media? 

2lilmamas
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 4:39 PM
Oh yes its considering in my book.
sunrisekn
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 4:46 PM

It is cheating to me as well. No excuses, he's gone! 

funmommy123
by Bronze Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 4:47 PM
I would be just as upset.
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