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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

so annoyed, hurt and probably being selfish ...

Posted by on Aug. 3, 2013 at 11:54 PM
  • 41 Replies
Dh & his friends convo...
"M" : hey lets go get drunk and pick up some women

dh: um dude im married

M: So she wont be able to smell the slobber all over you

Dh: Shut up your being an idiot
(thats the convo he said he and M had on their way home from work).

He told me this while we were eating dinner. Then out of no where he complains that I dont let him cum in me. We use NFP but to minimize the chances of pregnancy even more we pull out also. He also commented on the fact that I dont go down on him and let him finish in my mouth as much anymore (i dont like to let him finish that way but do time to time but ALWAYS give him oral at some point during our play time).

He says whats the point in tracking everything if I cant cum in you. I said because we really shouldnt allow that much possibility for pregnancy right now. We have two kids already. Id like to have them potty trained, get out of some debt and try to buy a house before we try for another or allow the possibility of another baby.

He says its all about me. I complain because Im not ready for a baby. My Endocrinologist (sp?) said wait a year (from feb) and my radioligist said wait at least 3-6 months before trying.

Its not that I dont want him to finish in me but I want to be able to get to where we want in life. Be able to be more financially stable before we have another child. Not to mention since I had the radiation recently itcould cause birth defects if we dont wait 3-6 months. He just thinks "once in a while wont hurt"... Yeah ok until I end up pregnant .... :( now we are arguing and I dont want to be near him. I just feel like crying. I feel more insecure now that he told me what his friend said....

End vent :/

****UPDATE****:
We sat down and talked. He said he told me the convo as a way to bring up the topic. And he wanted me to know that even though he was dissatisfied with our current arrangement, he refused to go with his friend because loves me.

He expressed his issues with NFP and I as a pp said actually shut up and listened. He has valid points as far as finishing "the right way". However, I expressed my concerns as we are still early on in NFP and I want to be sure I am tracking properly. I explained it wont be to much longer until he can cum in me, just not yet.

We also discussed having more children. He would like to try soon. I told him that is unrealistic and again explained my reasoning (debt, potty training, buying a house). We have decided to wait the year my dr suggested and see where we are at that point and if we are more financially suited to have another, we will.
by on Aug. 3, 2013 at 11:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AliKatAK47
by Bronze Member on Aug. 4, 2013 at 12:17 AM
Wow. I'm sorry. Have you considered other birth control options?
pittymama
by Silver Member on Aug. 4, 2013 at 1:17 AM
1 mom liked this

i guess i'm confused as to why the above conversation (between M and your DH) has anything to do with the rest of the post? is there more?

blondepegasus
by Member on Aug. 4, 2013 at 2:20 AM

There are so many dependable birth control options that would allow you guys to complete things as they are meant to be.  I can't imagine dh NEVER cumming in me. I don't feel like we've actually made love until he does! It does seem like stopping short every single time would become frustrating for you both, but especially him. I'd do some research and explore the bc options. 

danichaos
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 2:26 AM
4 moms liked this
Tell him he can com in a condom. Prick
anotherandree
by Silver Member on Aug. 4, 2013 at 2:30 AM
2 moms liked this

This was my first thought.  However, he could have been a bit nicer about the whole thing.

Quoting AliKatAK47:

Wow. I'm sorry. Have you considered other birth control options?


ZennMomma
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 2:42 AM
1 mom liked this

Condoms!!

im sorry he said it that way to you, it almost sounds like a threat, that's not ok and not part of a loving marriage.

TommyAbby
by Melissa on Aug. 4, 2013 at 7:55 AM

if you are that afraid of pregnancy, why don't you get on BC or use condoms? Or have him get snipped in the mean time. That can be reversed. 

ashbash1616
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 8:28 AM
2 moms liked this
The convo seems relevant because he hasnt said anything to me about this until now. Kind of felt like a threat I guess and made me feel like well if you dont let me, I have friends pushing me to cheat.

I dont think dh would ever cheat, but just the fact that he found telling me that convo was important then to follow up with an arguement about sex just shocked/hurt me a bit.


Quoting pittymama:

i guess i'm confused as to why the above conversation (between M and your DH) has anything to do with the rest of the post? is there more?


lapcounter
by Gold Member on Aug. 4, 2013 at 8:32 AM
2 moms liked this
That's what it sounds like to me, good thing you're not having a baby because it sounds like you've already got one, a big one.

Quoting ashbash1616:

The convo seems relevant because he hasnt said anything to me about this until now. Kind of felt like a threat I guess and made me feel like well if you dont let me, I have friends pushing me to cheat.



I dont think dh would ever cheat, but just the fact that he found telling me that convo was important then to follow up with an arguement about sex just shocked/hurt me a bit.




Quoting pittymama:

i guess i'm confused as to why the above conversation (between M and your DH) has anything to do with the rest of the post? is there more?


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ashbash1616
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 8:34 AM
I have, Ive done a lot of research on he different types of bc's. And the best form has been NFP for us. He agreed to it when I brought it up to him. We are still early into the process and I want to be sure Im tracking everything right to minimalize the chance of pregnancy.

I have hormone problems as is so hormone based bc's dont work well for me. The risks of the IUDs dont seem worth while to me and my endo told me under no certain terms am I to get the depo shot. It causes long term bone density issues and because I am on synthetic hormone and have done radiation 3 times Im screwed as far as bone density in the future as is. :-(


Quoting AliKatAK47:Wow. I'm sorry. Have you considered other birth control options?
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