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Did you feel pressured to have certain people as bridesmaids?

Posted by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 8:45 AM
  • 24 Replies

Bride Who Asked 80 of Her 'Closest Friends' to Be Bridesmaids Must've Been Nutso

by Maressa Brown

bridesmaid bouquetOf all the decisions a bride has to make about her Big Day, who will be a bridesmaid can be one of the most emotional, challenging, and potentially gut-wrenching! Because even if you're absolutely positive that you only want your three closest friends, or only your sisters and sisters-in-law, your decision is sure to be questioned. You may even get a guilt trip from a family member or friend. It's unfortunately just one of those annoying, stressful realities of planning a wedding. And occasionally, all that annoying stress leads a bride to go against her better instincts and opting to make certain people or a certain number of people her bridesmaids ...

One bride recently felt SO pressured to please that she asked 80 women to be bridesmaids. INSANE!

When trying to figure out who she would have as bridesmaids, the 26-year-old dance teacher named Katie Dalby felt she had to choose among three sisters-in-law, her niece, her cousin, her best friend, and ... 74 members of her Boogie Shoes Dance Academy! Because she says she "didn't want to exclude anyone," she asked them ALL to be bridesmaids. So she had 80 women -- aged two to 17 years old -- dressed in pink and surrounding her on her Big Day in Harwich, Essex, U.K.

Sure, it looks pretty cool, at least judging from the photo the Mirror ran of the happy couple sitting in the middle of the troop of a bridal party in a HUGE heart configuration ... But can you imagine having to deal with that many personalities? That many dresses to be ordered and altered? That many people in one place at one time, trying to get them to focus and look at the camera? Sounds like a total nightmare

Hey, if this wacky decision ultimately made Katie happy and her day especially memorable, more power to her. Brides should always go with their gut and have whoever they want in their bridal party ... But I'm a strong believer that excluding some people is perfectly acceptable ... even advised! NO bride should be pressured to include all the special women in her life as bridesmaids. From what I've heard, most would prefer to avoid the expense and stress and just be guests anyway!

What do you think about this bride's choice? Did you feel pressured to have certain people as bridesmaids?

by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 8:45 AM
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by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 9:01 AM
I did but I didn't care. I didn't have any It was our day no one else needed to stand up there with us. My best girl friends and sisters seemed happy about it just because they could just wear what they wanted. No drama. I was a go with the flow bride. No drama just fun. I didn't want brides maids either way tho.
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 9:09 AM
I just had enough issues trying to think of 2 women to be my bridesmaids. I don't have many female friends. I ended up asking Dh's cousin (who I was good friends with) & my soon to be sil.
by Platinum Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 10:09 AM

I really didn't &  I only had one. (=

by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 10:13 AM
1 mom liked this

bad No I  never felt pressured. When I made the  huge mistake of getting married when I was 18 I felt pressured to have a very traditional (what I consider boring run of the  mill NOT  ME! wedding) I only had a maid of honor, my only sister and a flower girl a little girl I babysat. They are who I wanted though. The rest of my wedding I shouldnt have had anyway was all how I thought my large extended family would like it not  how I'd like it.

goodWhen I  married my soulmate/bff love of my life husband Todd in our late 30s I did EVERYTHING in my wedding very unique  and unlike anything I've ever heard or seen before. We didn't have maids of honor instead Todd and I wrote and choreographed the entire  ceremony and symbolic  rituals throughout and made major active roles for all 5 of our teens as well as both  sets of our parents and our siblings and brother in law. Note that those people were our entire guest list as well so it was not just something  to watch it was highly  interactive and we wanted each of them to realize how important and special to us they are. : ) It was perfect! (we had a non denominational minister too but  one that we found that agreed to only do and say what we asked him to. He was very impressed with what we came up with. : )




by Bronze Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 12:35 PM

Yes...I ended up with my two sisters and my (now) husband's sister.    I would have only done one of the three, but there was no way to only have one without causing problems.  

by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 1:30 PM
I didn't feel pressured! My wedding & my choice :)
by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 1:54 PM

 She's an idiot and I'd wonder about her if I were her DH. If you can't hurt someones feelings you aren't gonig to function well in life imo. I'm not saying you have to be mean but you can't please everyone.......

Myself, I was pressured over my sister. I wanted her to be my bridesmaid. We had dresses. We were ready. Then a week and 1/2 before the big day she ran away. My mom was convinced she'd never miss my wedding and so I waited and waited and waited with this big gaping hole in the wedding party. A couple days before the wedding I finally asked my SIL to take her place. Thankfully she fit in the dress. It was rather awful. My mom was pretty upset on my wedding day because my sister missed it.

by on Aug. 23, 2013 at 1:56 PM

Nope... my god-daughter, best friend, future SIL and my cousin's fiance are my bridesmaids. 4 are plenty for me. We had initally talked about having 6... but we cut that down.

by Bronze Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 2:42 PM

This is one thing I havent even thought about yet...

by Bronze Member on Aug. 23, 2013 at 3:08 PM
No. I knew it was going to be my sisters and that's who I had.
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