Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Emotional gaslighting *vent*

Posted by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 12:26 PM
  • 9 Replies
I'm so frustrated. Every time I am stressed or angry over situations I have every right to be stressed or angry about, I'm "psycho" or "crazy" or "unstable". If I'm anything other than happy or tolerant, I'm crazy and I need medication. It's ok for him to flip me off and call me names, but if I do the same to him and flip his shit back at him I'm psycho and I "need help". I just wish that I could be human and express normal emotional range without being labeled as a crazy bitch.
by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 12:26 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
villagemamma
by Bronze Member on Aug. 26, 2013 at 12:42 PM

DH and i honestly used to have issue with this a lot. I suffered PPD after dd was born and after about a year my dr felt it was ok to stop taking the medication. i had gone through therapy and such and was feeling way more under control again. But any time i would have issue with a person, a situation or other type of event that would upset even a normal person i was "acting crazy" and "maybe i needed my meds again: It used to hurt so much when he would say that because i felt the same way you described. Like i was forbidden from having a reaction from any situation other that happy and positive. It took me a little bit to finally get through to him that that is not ok. That he would be just as angry at the situation if it was directed at him,.


furbabymum
by Gold Member on Aug. 26, 2013 at 1:03 PM

 I used to tell DH that it had to be exhausting to be as perfect as he was and why did he marry someone who was to blame for all the ills on the earth.

Anyway, I still can't really get upset and express emotion to him. He'll probably never be able to handle it. So when I get overwhelmed with emotion I usually go see my shrink. lol

Fayanne
by Gold Member on Aug. 26, 2013 at 1:33 PM

 do you wait to vent/express your anger until after it's pent up a bit, and then it comes out all at once?

Texasladybug84
by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 8:48 PM
I know how you feel my x was the same way. I couldn't even be myself without him finding something wrong.
MagicTemptation
by Christina on Aug. 26, 2013 at 9:01 PM

Is it possible that he doesn't realize how hyprocrital he is being? Record his bad behavior and show it to him later and ask him how is that any different than you showing your emotions. Tell him you are not ok with name calling and will not tolerate it.

I'm sorry. :( 

earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Aug. 27, 2013 at 1:27 AM

 im sorry hugs I'm sorry. HUGS : (

I remember I use to get soooo pissed off at my ex because if he knew it was getting close to my period time if I got very justifiably mad or irritated with him for one assinine thing or infuriating other thing he would do, no different than any other time of the month, he would say during that time it wasnt him it was just because I was pmsing! I didnt even pms very badly - living with him made me feel worse than  any pmsing ever! It made me soooo angry when he would do something really really wrong and then when I called him on it he would try to make it  about me! UGhhhh  Also it pissed me off because its rude, disrespectful and condescending! I can't deal with that.

 YVONNE

LoraKuhn
by Member on Aug. 27, 2013 at 9:13 AM

Wow, it sounds like there are a lot of "men" out there who are just like my husband. Why is it o.k. for him to get angry and yell and say mean things but, if I do the same, I'm a bitch and I need to get over it? I have told him over and over that the name calling and the blaming me for everything hurts but, he just won't understand. He seems to think that whatever he does is fine and I need to just "get over it" that's his favorite phrase. I'm on the brink of divorce because, it just isn't worth being treated that way, it is abuse ladies. I need to be happy and, my advice to you is, get out, he will never change and probably thinks that he is perfectly justified in treating you that way. Find your happiness, don't rely on someone else to make you happy.

charley31
by Bronze Member on Aug. 27, 2013 at 9:24 AM
The next time he acts like a douche and calls you names record him and show him after he's returned back to normal. Then ask him who's unstable. Or when he's acting like an ass yelling and name calling give it right back but be over the top. Show him what unstable really looks like. This is prob bad advice. I just would never put up with my husband calling me names or expecting me to be tolerant and not have emotions like a robot. We all have our moments where we are all human. You should be able to express you're feeling good,bad, or indifferent to your husband without him acting like mr perfect. I'm sorry you're having a hard time.
AlannaMaria
by Alanna on Aug. 27, 2013 at 1:07 PM
Sorry girl.. *hugs*
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)