Am I overreacting? *warning on some language!* UPDATE
*UPDATE!* This morning he woke me up with cuddles and a kiss and intended to let me sleep. However, that didn't happen, since our son climbed in bed with us at that moment. I still slept while he got dressed (he was a big boy this morning and he did it all by himself! lol), but I did get up to make sure his lunch was together. He didn't ask me to, I just knew it had to be done because I fell asleep last night before I got it together. I'm still going to talk to him, more than likely by writing him a letter, as one mom suggested. Hopefully that'll sink in easier for him.
Okay, I'm going to start this off by saying I truly do love my husband. But I'm so tired of being his maid. I do *everything* for him. He works overtime every week, and when he comes home, I completely understand that he wants to sit back and relax. But seriously? I'm home with our three year old and nine month old all day. When I've been dealing with chaotic children all day, I want to sit down the first chance I get, too. That doesn't mean I want to sit down and have to jump right back up because he asks for something to drink as soon as my ass hits the seat. When I'm on the other side of the house and he's five feet away from the fridge, he asks me to get him something to eat/drink. Seriously?! In the morning when he gets up to get ready for work, it's 5 am. I've already been up and down 4+ times with our nine month old throughout the night. He expects me to get up WITH him and get his stuff together for him. This morning I'd had enough. I'm fucking tired, he never wakes up in the middle of the night to deal with the kids, and they get up early. I want to fucking sleep as long as I'm able to. So when he asked me to get up and get his uniforms from the dryer and bring them to him (even though he said please!), I flipped out and told him repeatedly "NO! You're a big boy, you can do it yourself." He kept asking and I finally angrily threw the covers off, got on my robe, grabbed every single piece of clothing from the dryer, and threw them all on the bed at him (he was still in bed). He looked shocked and confused. I'm not sure why, as this isn't the first time I've had this talk with him. I'm his wife, not his maid. He never helps me with the kids, and when I do ask him, he acts like a child who doesn't get his way. However, after I went back to bed, he didn't bother me again until he told me he loved me and he was going to work. The other night, I was gone the entire day. I'm a SAHM with no car. I never leave the house. So I took the opportunity to take the kids to my mom's house for the day. We had dinner over there. I get home around 7pm, and my husband is sitting there asking me when I'm going to cook dinner. If I had been there, obviously I would have cooked. But he literally sat there starving all day because *I* wasn't there to make him something. He knows how to cook!
I really do appreciate everything he does for us. I hardly ever ask him to do anything, and when I do ask him to do something for me, he doesn't do it. But when he's more than capable of getting up and doing something for himself, and instead asks me to do it, it pisses me off. If he wants a 1950s wife, then he needs to build him a time machine and find one, because it's not me. I do what I have to in the house to make it run smoothly. But that doesn't mean I have to wait on him hand and foot. Again, I'm his wife, not his maid. We've been married for 4.5 years, and it annoys me there's a possibility he'll never get this through his head. He watched his mom do everything for his dad to the point where it was shocking to see his dad do something for himself. I refuse to let our son to think this is a normal thing to expect his future partner to do the same for him, or that my daughter has to be treated as such.
So how would y'all react? Am I overreacting too much? I should add that I'm not a bitch, I talk things out before yelling, but when my talking is clearly never heard, things tend to get bad for the other person. A person can only take but so much of their spouse never listening before they snap.