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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

He acts like it never happened!

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 7:50 AM
  • 14 Replies

Ugh. I swear I don't know why I married him sometimes. He can be an overbearing ass.

Every Monday & Tuesday I have a crime drama(different shows each day) that I watch at 8pm. Well, DH is in school and he automatically thinks that means I should stop what I do so that he can study. He has times outlined that he is going to study. Our library is open til 8. We have to be quiet and not disturb him while he's studying. Okay I get it. I was in school for a while too.

Last night, my show was set to come on in 10 minutes. DH makes a fuss about DS (5) being up while it was on. (Our house doesn't have air conditioning upstairs so we all stay downstairs until bedtime.) I don't know why he kicked up a fuss. DS has been watching crime dramas with me since he was born. I was a sahm for the first few years and we watched L&O, ER, etc together. I use it as an opportunity to teach him things. I don't believe in sheltering him from the bad things that happen.

Then this morning, he acts he never threw a hissy fit. Like everything is fine. Wth???

by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 7:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
beeky
by Alexandra on Aug. 28, 2013 at 7:57 AM
1 mom liked this

It sounds like he is getting stressed.  Try to be understanding but don't let him cross any lines.

Do you have another room where he can study undisturbed?

Fayanne
by Gold Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 7:58 AM

 Displaced anger and/or jealousy? He's frustrated that he has 'work' to do while you get to relax?

Or, like you said,  he's an overbearing ass.

chillemi78
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 7:58 AM
Is he stressed about anything? I get that it wasn't right for him to throw a fit, but I wouldn't see it as something to continue fighting over. If he has moved on, I would too and just go about the day.
NiCo86
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 8:01 AM
sounds like he was just stressed, and knows he acted poorly.
mrsjksimmons
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 8:01 AM

Not right now because of it being so hot where we live. We only have a wall unit downstairs for AC and the upstairs windows are not up/down, they are side to side so there isn't anyway to cool things down until the sun goes down.

I am understanding about it because I've been there. When DS was 1.5 I started school. I was a sahm mom then too. It was hard but I didn't bitch like he does.

Quoting beeky:

It sounds like he is getting stressed.  Try to be understanding but don't let him cross any lines.

Do you have another room where he can study undisturbed?


mrsjksimmons
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 8:03 AM

No more stressed than usual. I am going to let it go but it just seems like he does this all the time. He will throw a conniption fit, say mean shit to me, and then the next day, he acts like this loving great husband. It's friggin annoying!

Quoting chillemi78:

Is he stressed about anything? I get that it wasn't right for him to throw a fit, but I wouldn't see it as something to continue fighting over. If he has moved on, I would too and just go about the day.


xoxRachelxox
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 10:49 AM

It does sound like he's stressed out. If that's the case though, he needs to learn to manage it better.


Krysden
by Platinum Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 11:44 AM

How much of a fuss did he make?    Are we talking about yelling, screaming, slamming things, etc... Or was it a brief aggrivated/angry outburst?   Not to say that either one is an ok way to handle himself but there is a difference.  He probably acted like nothing happened because he was over it at that point. 

The way you describe things, he doesn't see it as any big deal but you do.  He needs to know that you see his acting like that as a big deal and he needs to know why.  It's possible that he doesn't even realize he does it.  I suppose it's also possible that you are more sensitive to those things that he realizes.   Good relationships are built on good communication.... get to the bottom of things together and see if you can come to an understanding about this sort of thing in general.

Also, I'm curious, what was his problem with your son being up?  Was it the show itself?  Did he think he should have already been in bed or been getting ready for bed at that time of night?    

mrsjksimmons
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 1:45 PM

 DS normally goes to bed sometime within that hour but I could have (and have done before) gotten him ready at commercial breaks. DH just acts like a jerk. I've tried to talk to him about how these things bug me before and he just basically turns it around and acts like it doesn't matter. That I'm crazy. We've been together 7 years and it's always been like this.

He gets mean when he gets like this. He insults me and then never apologizes. He seems to think that he's right all the time and that's all there is to it. It's frustrating. Most of the time I let it roll off my back but for some reason, last night, not so much.

Quoting Krysden:

How much of a fuss did he make?    Are we talking about yelling, screaming, slamming things, etc... Or was it a brief aggrivated/angry outburst?   Not to say that either one is an ok way to handle himself but there is a difference.  He probably acted like nothing happened because he was over it at that point. 

The way you describe things, he doesn't see it as any big deal but you do.  He needs to know that you see his acting like that as a big deal and he needs to know why.  It's possible that he doesn't even realize he does it.  I suppose it's also possible that you are more sensitive to those things that he realizes.   Good relationships are built on good communication.... get to the bottom of things together and see if you can come to an understanding about this sort of thing in general.

Also, I'm curious, what was his problem with your son being up?  Was it the show itself?  Did he think he should have already been in bed or been getting ready for bed at that time of night?    

 

Hottmomma607
by Trica on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:53 PM
He sounds stress! Try to be patient! But tell him no need ti be rude about it!
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