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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

What's the secret to finding a good man?

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 9:55 AM
  • 59 Replies
1 mom liked this

 Do you have a good man and a happy marriage? I can't seem to find one. I had one unsuccessful marriage from which the only good thing to come was my baby girl, but now all the guys I date seem to be creepy sleazeballs.

What am I missing? What should I look for? What's YOUR secret?

by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 9:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Cafe Steph
by Head Admin on Aug. 28, 2013 at 11:09 AM
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Mine was very attentive and kind from day 1. He opened doors, pulled out chairs, warned me of dips in the pavement when we walked, treated servers politely and graciously, and was good to his mother and other friends. He listened when I talked and asked good questions. He was funny, witting, charming, and babies and puppies seemed to like him, lol. Now, I don't know if these really tell you anything, but these are the things I noticed years and years ago and we're approaching 14yrs of marriage next month. :)

MsRkg
by Bronze Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 11:14 AM
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My secret....Not settling for anything less than what you know you deserve. I know I deserved the best in all areas and matters of things and I didn't settle for a man who would refuse to do /or would not try to do or help with those things. We've been happily married for over 12 years now.

NiCo86
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 11:15 AM
3 moms liked this
know what you are looking for, set standards and STICK WITH THEM!
xoxRachelxox
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 11:19 AM
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I've said it before and I'll say it again... Date a dork! I'm not even kidding.

I used to date all these horrible "bad boy" types and ended up getting hurt over and over. I finally decided to date someone that wasn't my type and sort of dorky and he's the most amazing person I've ever met. He's not tattooed and rough like I was usually attracted to but he was cute and he treated me like a queen from our very first date.

gmoen1977
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 12:04 PM

dating these days is not like it was in my early 20's.  i finally gave up on dating sites and men.  i made sure that every saturday i would go to the bar play pool with people i knew.  and wasnt looking for anything else, if something came about ok, but never expected.  i met SO one night.  he was in town after driving home from work.  thought he was with the gal he was pairs with until she let it out of the bag she was married.  She still believes i was with someone that night.  exchanged numbers after the band was done and talked more outside.  met for more pool the next day, came back to my place for movies.  neither were looking for a relationship since i knew he wasn't home much and wasnt looking.  over the week we got to know each other and we started to date.  that was over 6 months ago.

he was all but two thinks on my list of what i wanted in a guy i dated.  he can be serious but he is also such a goof and can make me laugh all the time.  i do travel with him and love it, when home I miss him and i assume he is missing me by some of the conversations we have had.

pittymama
by Silver Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 12:05 PM

not settling is key. our marriage is far from perfect and i feel like i settled, sometimes. take your time, don't jump into things with less desirable candidates. 

Texasladybug84
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 1:10 PM
Well for me it was finding a guy who was really nice and polite. I was very picky but he made me laugh so hard when I first met him that he was different. He's a country boy was working on his families farm and just joined the army in High school when we met.
But he's still a gentlemen and treats me like a queen, He opens the doors, I can't even carry the groceries lol.
Daisyducc
by Bronze Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 1:13 PM

Like everything else, patience and persistence.  Also, re-evaluating your criteria of "good man".  High expectations are fine, but also, being realistic.  When I met my husband, he didn't match my list...but there were a lot of great things about him.  The more I got to know him, the more I realized he was the right fit for me, and he was a lot of things I never knew I wanted until I met him.  He's not rich, or movie star handsome, but he's MY perfect partner.

Texasladybug84
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 1:13 PM
1 mom liked this
Yup a dork or a country boy. My dh is a nerd with science but is a country boy raised old fashioned and treats me like a queen


Quoting xoxRachelxox:

I've said it before and I'll say it again... Date a dork! I'm not even kidding.

I used to date all these horrible "bad boy" types and ended up getting hurt over and over. I finally decided to date someone that wasn't my type and sort of dorky and he's the most amazing person I've ever met. He's not tattooed and rough like I was usually attracted to but he was cute and he treated me like a queen from our very first date.


happinessforyou
by Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 1:18 PM
3 moms liked this

Sometimes we project what we are getting... KWIM?  If you are hanging off a bar stool at 1am, you are more than likely going home with a drunk loser... lol

Are you confident, well-dressed, decent job, educated, make good decisions..etc..etc... Be what you want to attract. I think you have to live like someone that a man would want to spend his life with.... GL

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