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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

facebook relationship ruining marriage

Posted by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 4:41 AM
  • 77 Replies

I've been with my husband for 19 years. A few years ago he had an emotional affair that almost killed our marriage. I recently became aware of a relationship between him and another woman on facebook thats non physical. But of the frequency of there interactions and the things they say to one another thats viewable it struck up a red flag.

When i asked him about it he got defensive and started hiding things from me making me more paranoid. I tried sending her a friend request thinkng if it was harmless she'd accept. Well she blocked me. I called my husband and was upset. Why would she block me over a simple invite if there was nothing to hide? And no he never said anything to her of my questions.

Then later on today, My husband defriended and 'blocked' me on facebook. And doesn't understand why i am hurt since we live together. How many think what he did was wrong and hurtful? How many think its not a big deal and i am over reacting.

I feel like he is shutting me out. I am hurt by his actions. If i was being insecure he could have reassured me instead of hiding more and more and fueling my paranoid. And now this?

I should mention weve been together 19 years and have 3 kids under 13.

by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 4:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
polkaspots
by Bronze Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 4:44 AM
5 moms liked this
That's extremely shady and disrespectful. He should be talking to you about this, so he can tell you there's nothing going on. Since he's not, I would assume its because there is something going on.
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RedSoxWife
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 5:14 AM
Ha! Welcome to the club. ( that was meant sarcastically, not bitchy) my dh won't even acknowledge that he's married on Fb. I can't even tag him in photos of our children. Suit up for a fight cuz that's all it brings me. Men are shady creatures
rfhsure
by Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 5:17 AM
2 moms liked this

 No, no way. that is not cool at all.

skyla1225
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 5:22 AM
It makes me just almost want to separate because i dont want to go through this again. He never understood what he did the first time.. Thinks cheating is only physical. Last time with his emotional affair he and her texted and called 30-40 times a day at least. We couldnt even go on a date without him talking to her. And he would tell me he missed her and couldnt stop thinking about her. It went on for 2 years and it wasnt until i was actually going to leave that he ended it.

He doesnt think hes done anything wrong. And i love him but dont want to do through that again if thats where this is heading.
Kristanna
by Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 5:26 AM
1 mom liked this

Fuck that. In both op and your situation, things would change real quick or I'd be gone.

Quoting RedSoxWife:

Ha! Welcome to the club. ( that was meant sarcastically, not bitchy) my dh won't even acknowledge that he's married on Fb. I can't even tag him in photos of our children. Suit up for a fight cuz that's all it brings me. Men are shady creatures


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polkaspots
by Bronze Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 5:48 AM
7 moms liked this
He's lying to you. He deleted you so you couldn't see his page anymore. He knows why you're upset and doesn't care. He has already had a two year affair and is having one again. I understand you love him but he loves someone else, or at least cares about her more than a married man should. He's not putting you before her. That's a huge sign.
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gmoen1977
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:11 AM

Sounds like another emotional affair.  I would be also worried with the secrets there may be more than talking going on.  Can always add a Trojan to the computer and know what he is typing if you need proof of the affair and the  i would be leaving.  Once they get away with the affair they get worse.  It's why I divorced my. X.

ZennMomma
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:26 AM

Red flag.

maybe time to start some serious work on your marriage or go separate ways...?

im sorry, I went through that in my previous marriage...never again.

kidlover2
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:37 AM
2 moms liked this
I wouldn't be still married. I wouldn't care that he ended the first relationship, f he never acknowledged what he did was wrong and hurtful then there would be no point in continuing on in the marriage. He will keep cheating on you until he finds a woman he leaves you for. I would be gone first. I learned my lesson the hard way. Never again.
On a more positive note. There are many honest and trustworthy men out there and it's a totally different experience. It makes marriage a pleasure.
momof3sons68
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 7:01 AM
Sorry u are going threw this men what are we going to do with them? If u don't mind me asking, has the sex stopped? If it has red flag and if that women blocked u then she knows all about u and shame on her,KARMA is a bitch it will get her if she continues stepping into a marriage where she has no place being. As far as your husband he has no respect for u or your children sorry to say I believe when a man cheats physical or emotional he is cheating on the whole family kids included, hope things work out r you,keep us posted
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