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Is cheating ever justified?

Posted by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 11:44 AM
  • 55 Replies

 My bff, while I love her to death, has some pretty twisted ideas about marriage. Her husband cheated on her a few years ago and she forgave him, took him back, and moved on happily, but then she found out last week that he's cheating on her again. Her new plan, rather than talking to him about it, forgiving or divorcing him, etc., is to find a man to cheat on him with as revenge. She says that it's okay if she does because her dh cheated first.

Do you think cheating is ever justified?



by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 11:44 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ThouArtMother
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 11:53 AM

My personal belief is that cheating is wrong.  I think we as women and men try to justify anything that we do that is wrong.  I believe certain situations can make a person more prone to cheat, but I don't think that it's justified.  Also, I believe that cheating is a matter of the heart toward the person you love.  Your friend seems like she is digging a hole, because I don't see what fullfillment she will get within your relationship from cheating on her husband.  To me if it's going to be that type of relationship I don't get why they are still in it? But I can say from personal experience that hurting people hurt people. 

polkaspots
by Bronze Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 11:55 AM
No. I think it's stupid to stay in a marriage without love and respect. If they just talked about it and decided that they both wanted to see other people (without having it interfere in their family life) that's fine, but going behind your spouse or significant other's back is wrong unless you're planning a surprise party.
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BonitaM
by Platinum Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 11:56 AM

No, cheating is never justified.  It's never an accident and it's never acceptable.  If people want to just sleep around they should stay single and do so or talk to their significant other about an open marriage, swinging, etc.  Going behind someone's back is never okay.  jmo

bellawomen
by Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 11:57 AM
2 moms liked this
Never justified. Ever.

Grow some balls and leave. Because he cheated, I would rip him apart in court.
charley31
by Bronze Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 11:59 AM
Exactly.


Quoting bellawomen:

Never justified. Ever.



Grow some balls and leave. Because he cheated, I would rip him apart in court.

lauratupper
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 12:01 PM

No

256bamamom
by Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 12:07 PM

I don't think it's ever justified.......if all you are doing is trying to get revenge.....how about just divorcing and finding happiness and living a good life afterwards.....wouldn't that be revenge enough?? Otherwise it's just childish tit for tat....and what does that prove you are capable of ugliness as well??

.Peaches.
by Bronze Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 12:12 PM
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No, and I didn't know grown people still did the tit-for-tat thing.

I left that behind in middle school.

She's obviously not thinking with her head- what if she gets pregnant? Gets an STD (because condoms and BC are not 100%, even combined).

MamaMerkle126
by Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 12:57 PM
1 mom liked this

No, cheating is never, EVER justified. Too many people take vows of everlasting love and partnership and then bail at the first sign of trouble. I saw a photo on FB once of an old couple celebrating an anniversary, and they apparently were asked "how did you manage to stay together for so long?" They answered: "We come from a time when if something is broken, you fix it... not throw it away." This, right here, is how I feel about marriage.

Cheating would be a REALLY hard thing for me to get over, but I think I would make myself do it... for the first strike. But if my husband and I had issues (and right now, we do... the first year of marriage is a bitch), we would WORK THROUGH THEM before it ever came to that. That's what marriage is... mutual respect and commitment. 

So no, it's not okay for your friend to cheat on her DH just because he did it first. In fact, that's nothing more than an excuse to be a whore, or to attempt to hit him where it hurts (which, let's be honest: if he's already cheating, does she really think he'll give a shit that she slept with someone else?). It's disgusting and childish and self-centered, and they should have sought help or sat down together long before any of this ever happened. They're equally at fault.

I also think it's stupid, irresponsible, and sad to bail on a marriage without doing EVERYTHING in your power to fix it. Divorce is just an easy-out for lazy people. The only die-hard exception is abuse, and even then, if it was just a one-time thing (spanking when you get really pissed, slapping your kid in the mouth for underaged drinking, etc.), I see NO reason not to try and move past that. I was spanked as a kid and I've turned out just fine, though I'm sure there are plenty of angry bitches on this site that will read this and pick it apart to tell me why I'm NOT fine.

catevincesmom
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 12:59 PM

No, cheating is never justified.  It just makes matters worse.  And revenge is never a good reason to do anything.  Revenge is sweet, but leaves a bitter aftertaste.  If they can't work things out, she needs to leave.

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