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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Needing an Education but... long distance

Posted by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 2:51 PM
  • 11 Replies

I have no degree, I failed out of college because I was naive before marriage. After marriage, I dropped out a 2nd time because I had no support from husband after our fist baby. I am 28, we have 3 kids, can't afford childcare so I stay home,  and we can't pay our bills. my mom and sisters offered to watch my kids for free, feed us, and house us for free if i am able to go to WA for school. they can't come our here and we can't afford me to go to college on our own. My husband side of the family disagrees but won't help out. And my husband obviously hates the idea and threatened divorce and harm to himself and said in stupid and am punishing him and will fail.. I understand his want to be around the kids,  but if the roles were switched I would heartachingly do what it took to better our future for our family. Do you agree, disagree? Why?

 

***Thanks for the support, I was originally expecting to get lashings for this idea. I have come to realize that I need to stand up for my children and there future because they are just too young and need that strength.

****I realized I internalize accusations people tell me as truth and i need to stand up for myself and think independently from my husband. His latest? I'm "mentally ill" and he "is genuinely concerned". I'm not ill. Mentally ill people don't have a 4 year plan, or think about the security of their family, or go to great measurements to ensure the kids get facetime with their dad. no no no, not "ill", creative and out of the box, but not ill.

Thanks again to all. :-)

by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 2:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
xoxRachelxox
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 3:45 PM

I wonder why you're with someone who isn't on board with you bettering yourself. He's the reason you dropped out the second time and now he's threatening divorce and to hurt himself if you do this?

I'd be moving with my parents and going to school. You'll be thankful for the education you'll receive when you do leave his ass and can take care of yourself and your kids on your own.

I obviously say go for it.

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 3:49 PM

 I'd want to know what you are getting a degree in and why first. I'm not going to support stupid degree getting.

Then I'm going to say your DH must really like having you under his control. Why would he not support you? That's so odd.

My DH would move if that is what he had to do to support me. Why can't your DH go with you? He obviously doesn't have a great job if you can't afford to live off his income.

chayilheart
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 4:58 PM


Quoting furbabymum:

 I'd want to know what you are getting a degree in and why fist. I'm not gonig to support stupid degree getting.

Then I'm giong to say your DH must really like having you under his control. Why would he not support you? That's so odd.

My DH would move if that is what he had to do to support me. Why can't your DH go with you? He obviously doesn't have a great job if you can't afford to live off his income.

Its a nursing degree, I'm not into getting a degree if you don't really need one, especially if the payoff isnt there either.

I had some friends and even though they didn't know me well, THEY even said how controlling he was of me. It has always been his way or no way and I was always crazy or wrong and all our problems is because of me.

Why can't he go with? Well,his mentality is......its not his idea, so its wrong and I'm wrong so its bound to be a mistake. Now, I would love for him to come with, but like I said....

LadyBast
by Brenda on Sep. 19, 2013 at 5:34 PM

I would move and do it since the offer is there this is for you not him and if he does not want you to do it then why??

My hubby would for me in a minute I would love to do college again but not in the cards for me and my age also..

I would never give up a dream for anyone especially to better myself, he is not worth it and I would ask him why??? Why do you not want me to have a degree and do better for all of us??

Texasladybug84
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 7:22 PM
What college in wa?
Fayanne
by Gold Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 7:57 PM

 perhaps it is a threat to his manlihood? dunno.. have you ever had a conversation about getting any type of job, or does he just want a SAHW ?

chayilheart
by on Sep. 20, 2013 at 5:02 AM

 


Quoting Texasladybug84:

What college in wa?


 

I haven't decided yet, but my options are between 3 different ones inthe southwest, WSU, LCC, and Clark.

opal10161973
by on Sep. 20, 2013 at 5:27 AM

Don't let age stop you, Darlin.  Our Valedictorian in nursing school was 62 years old.  The Salutatorian was 63.  Not even kidding.

Quoting LadyBast:

I would move and do it since the offer is there this is for you not him and if he does not want you to do it then why??

My hubby would for me in a minute I would love to do college again but not in the cards for me and my age also..

I would never give up a dream for anyone especially to better myself, he is not worth it and I would ask him why??? Why do you not want me to have a degree and do better for all of us??


Texasladybug84
by on Sep. 20, 2013 at 8:52 AM
I went to wwu. Loved that place!


Quoting chayilheart:

 




Quoting Texasladybug84:

What college in wa?



 


I haven't decided yet, but my options are between 3 different ones inthe southwest, WSU, LCC, and Clark.


TommyAbby
by Melissa on Sep. 20, 2013 at 10:11 AM
You go girl!!!! If it will give you more stability, and you have that much support...omg I would be doing it in a heartbeat! Good luck!!!!!
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