I remember we got in a fight or something and I can't remember why but I thought you might be suicidal afterwards. I was looking for you EVERYWHERE. I couldn't find you, I was scared to death and I kept asking these two girls who were at the place with us in their own rooms if they would help me. The youngest would but the oldest was to busy with her boyfriend. She'd give me ideas of where to look but she wouldn't come out of the room, or off of her bed for that matter. I was scared to death, I had a knot in my stomach like I do when I know something bad is going to happen and I was so scared I couldn't help it. Well I walked in again into the youngest bedroom this time without knocking to think of more places to look for you. I was so scared i'd lost you. But when I walked in, I realized I already did. There you were, naked and in bed with her. You looked like you had just finished having sex with her or you were just in the middle and I interrupted. I fell to the floor, I cried hysterically and I couldn't believe my eyes. I started screaming no!!!! And I was so angry I grabbed her and I tried to hurt her. She was small enough (maybe 13-14) that I was able to grab her by the hair and THROW AND BANG her against the walls in the room over and over!! You were yelling at me to let her go! You were defending her!!!I wanted to KILL her but I knew I couldn't!! Then you!!! You were always more powerful than me. I tried to hurt you, I tried to hit you, punch you, kick you in the nuts ANYTHING. NOTHING WORKED. You wouldn't be in PAIN!!!!!!! Finally I broke down and cried!!! Asking WHY WHY WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?!?!?! And you WOULD NOT ANSWER!!!! You ignored me as though I didn't deserve an answer! I was in so much pain, I didn't know what to do with myself. I walked out and my first idea was to get in the bath, and cut myself and bleed to death. Then I remembered my daughter and decided not to bleed to death. Just cut and cut. Maybe you would notice. And so I was getting in the bath when I realized that the girls younger brother was in the bath. I decided oh well. He was probably 12 and got in anyways. With (for some odd reason) the baby behind/ beside me, and another kid next to the boy. The mom walked in, didn't care walked out, then you walked in (I had previously grabbed the razor and tried to cut but decided that was to little. Then grabbed 2 scalpels and decided they were good enough and got in) but as I was apparently just getting in I was almost completely undressed, and you looked at me and looked at the boy, didn't seem to care at all, then looked at where the scalpels are and said I hope you didn't grab one. And that was it and walked out. I was crushed. You didn't even seem to care I wanted to die. But the worst was when I left. I left you on the side of the road after I had apparently thrown your things out of the car and told you to not write me or something call, i don't know. And sped off leaving you there. Telling myself I'm finally done with you. I got to the party thing I was going to and hung out with friends, I felt so much better now that they were beside me and comforting me. But you walked in!!!! WHY!!! And you actually asked me to take you back!!!!! And when I was determining it, you CHANGED YOUR MIND. And walked away as though you never cared. I'm in so much pain as I wake up, I think I'm still in the dream but I look at you and simply want to whisper please tell me it was a dream but you don't wake and I start to dream about it again.. And then I really wake up. With a broken heart from nightmare land..
There's more details but I'm trying to do a long story short.
Now I have a couple of questions, do you believe that dreams/ nightmares depict real life things?
How do you think I should deal with this, should I talk to him about it?
Also, added question. If you're religious, do you think it's a way of devil trying to tear us apart??
Thank you everyone.
I might as we'll add that I have been cheated on and the guy who did that was away for 3 months then came back and did that (we just talked about my so going on an oil rig so that we can make more money and afford more stuff) and the guy who cheated on me is now with a 15 year old girl (ex is 18) just thought it might help explain? I hope. Lol thanks you guys. No I don't take any medicine or drugs.