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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

What do you wish you had been warned/advised about before your wedding?

Posted by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 8:11 AM
  • 17 Replies

7 Things No One Warns You About Your Wedding Day

by Maressa Brown

arrow wedding directionsYou can read every article in every bridal magazine, every Q&A or checklist on wedding websites, and pick your married friends brains for MONTHS and still be unprepared for some of the "OMG" (both wonderful and cringe-worthy) moments you're bound to encounter wedding planning and finally walking down the aisle. That's why just about anyone who has ever been a bride has coulda/shoulda/woulda thoughts well after they've someone's Mrs.

While it's not healthy to dwell on those thoughts, it doesn't hurt to dish on what you only wish you had known! Hey, it could be the heads-up that saves another bride's day. Here, 7 things brides often wish they'd been warned/advised about before their Big Day ...

Knock-down, drag-out fights can happen.

With potential for emotions to run high and money matters to set people off and family drama galore, you could very well end up having the biggest fight of your entire relationship with your fiance in the lead-up to the wedding. Hell, maybe even on your wedding day! Wedding stress can make even the most even-tempered person act occasionally crazy and out of character. I wish more of us would admit this is perfectly NORMAL and does not mean you need to tear off like a runaway bride. As long as you're able to cool off and talk it over at some point, it's allll good.

Your budget may end up being unrealistic.

For various reasons -- season, location, timing, procrastination, etc. -- certain vendors/services/other wedding details can end up costing a lot more than you expected. And while you can do your best to negotiate and trim the fat or DIY as much as possible, sometimes you have no choice but to grin and bear shelling out a few hundred more for that chuppah or extra hour of open bar or summer Saturday night.

Waterworks can arrive at anytime.

You might get super-emotional about something you didn't expect to ... like the dance with your dad, or a speech that comes out of the blue. Just consider it a reason to ask the Maid of Honor to tote some tissues and touch-up mascara in her clutch!

Guest RSVP realities are way different from your expectations!

Guests you thought were shoo-ins find out they have to work or are gonna be 8 months pregnant or have some other reason they can't attend. Guests you thought in a million years wouldn't show say they're coming and bringing all of their +1s. And worst of all, you may get an RSVP for people who decide not to show at the last minute -- which is why it's always best to tell your venue that you have fewer people, because it's always cheaper to add than subtract at the eleventh hour!

Promises -- especially involving money -- are best made in writing.

What everyone keeps telling you is supposed to be the happiest time of your life can quickly go south if promises regarding finances aren't kept. Many brides wish they had been warned to get everything in writing when discussing with their parents and their partner who would pay for what.

It's not over 'til it's over.

Last-minute requests for things you never even thought about -- a toiletry basket in the restrooms or a Kosher/vegan/nut-free dinner or dessert or cocktail hour option, particular shots taken by photographers, etc. -- can have a way of popping up no matter how much you prepare ahead of time. And be prepared for this to continue even well after your wedding day, whether people expect thank you cards by a particular deadline they deem appropriate or they're hounding you for photos/video, etc.

Wardrobe malfunctions can wreck your day.

Whether it's uncomfortable shoes or too-tight Spanx or earrings that aren't hypoallergenic, any sort of wardrobe malfunction you're accustomed to happening that can happen will. Or at least can. Good to have a plan B -- like flip flops waiting in the wings to replace those 4-inch heels wreaking havoc on your tootsies!

What do you wish you had been warned/advised about before your wedding?

by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 8:11 AM
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Replies (1-10):
furbabymum
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 10:38 AM
1 mom liked this

 I'm not uptight about crap like that. I go with the flow. So I didn't have any issues when my sister and bridesmaid ran away from home and missed my wedding. When it rained us out of our perfect location in the park. When my dress got caught on a nail and ripped as well as pulling me over on the walk down the aisle. When punch was spilled on my dress and when it turns out we forgot our toasting glasses at home. It was a great day, even more so for everything that happened.

People who cry over wedding stuff baffle me.

BonitaM
by Ruby Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 10:51 AM

We eloped to avoid all the drama.  My MIL was going to call the cops cause she thought she could stop us from marrying and my grandma made my guest list of 30 go up to 300 by inviting family I've never met from overseas.  My parents weren't thrilled about our nuptials either.  So we ran off and got married and then told everyone (except my mom who knew) a week or two later.

xoxRachelxox
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 11:15 AM

I had nothing go wrong on the day of my wedding. We didn't fight at all.

SteffM0501
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 3:02 PM
3 moms liked this

Don't warn brides about the wedding, warn them about the marriage. Marriage is the hard part, who gives a shit about the wedding day? 

MomToovey
by Marianne on Sep. 23, 2013 at 4:10 PM

 I wish we had been warned about our photographer. He was awful.

I wish I had been warned to make sure I got cake. It seemed like a no-brainer to me, but I ended up not getting any, and I'm still made about it 6.5 years later!

I agree about the guest RSVPs, but it all worked out for us, so it wasn't a big deal.

Metteba
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 4:18 PM

I seen crazy fights at weddings mainly the Bride N Groom.  LOL.  The one that took the cake was the EXGF showing up and gave the bride a beat down. Man, and the Groom didn't do anything but watch, great wedding day, and 11 years later they have a happy home and great kids.  Every anniversary they have they show the video of the FIGHT.  LOL.  good stuff.

kidlover2
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 4:22 PM
I didn't have those problems at all... I had the cases of the dueling mother-in-laws. They made my wedding preparations and day a living hell. Luckily the second time around, I was old and mature enough not to invite my mom or his to our wedding. It was a lovely day and I'll remember it as one of my favorite days.
nussknacker
by Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 4:59 PM

Quick justice of peace (???) "wedding" in an office in Reno. SOOOOOO not important to me. Weddings, that is. Just a piece of paper.

CampClan
by Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 6:27 PM

Don't do it! I wish my future self had come back in time & told me my ex is an ass & would cheat on me twice & have a kid with the second girl.

But now I know what I want & don't want out of a relationship (I was 20 & naive when I got married- only jumping into marriage because I was pregnant with baby #2). 

AlannaMaria
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 6:32 PM

I can honestly say nothing went bad on my wedding day. DH and I never fought, i wasn't stressed out. I think because of my wedding being only 30 people helped. I could have easily had a huge wedding, but i didn't want that and i knew  that would have just stressed me out. 

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