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SAHM, do you make DH get up with baby?

Posted by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 8:27 AM
  • 92 Replies
This is battle at my house and I feel torn on the issue. My dh works rotating shifts every month. We have a 1 month old. When our baby was born dh was on 2nd and had no issues waking to feed the baby and still get up at 6-7. Out baby only wakes 3 times a night so we rotated every night on who got up once and te other got 2. Whoever got up 1 time got up and got the kids ready for school.
Hes on 1st now which means he gets up 345. I understand thats early but in my opinion shouldnt keep you from waking up and doing the 11pm feeding. Makin him do it is getting to be not worth the fight every night. He sighs all dramatically and acts all pissy about it every night. When i try to talk to him he says he doesnt mind getting up but his actions say otherwise.
We decided together to have this baby, and i feel should share all the responsibilities regardless of the fact that im a sahm. I dont get to nap, if i did then k wouldnt mind being the only one to wake. But i have a 4 yr old too and he doesnt nap. So im up at 530 everyday and up the rest of the day til about 930.
Should i suck it up and just do all the feedings to avoid a fight or tell him to suck it up and stop his whining.
by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 8:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Succubus1987
by Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 8:31 AM
Too long, My hubby never woke up for night feedings but i breastfed so there was no bottle to give.
AvengedMommy101
by Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 8:33 AM

DH simply does not wake up to them at all. He's too hard of a sleeper.

RheaF
by Silver Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 8:50 AM

 When I had DS, DH was working two jobs and getting up at 3 am. I never once asked him to get up. I was a SAHM, with a newborn and three year old. I couldn't nap, but I could rest, which he could not.

Honestly though, he gets up, maybe in a grumpy mood, but he gets up. Why are you complaining? Who is really happy to get up, out of a good sleep, to go feed and change a baby? lol. Even you can't be that happy to do it, or you would do it all the time. If he is getting up, and says he doesn't mind, then just leave it alone. So what if he grumbles a little? When DD was a baby DH and I used to bicker over whose turn it was to get up with the baby,lol.

When DD(our first) was a baby we bottle fed, and when DH would get up with her he would play Xbox to keep himself awake,lol. Maybe suggest that to yours?

sugareemommee
by Bronze Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 8:52 AM
No, I take care of all nighttime feedings, but I'm nursing so he can't do much anyway.

He WILL get up and go downstairs to get me ice water if I need it though ;)

ETA - I have a 6 and 2 year old too, I'm up for the day at 6 then to to bed around 10 ish. It's tough momma - I hear ya!
Mommy383
by New Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 8:54 AM
3 moms liked this
If you are not working outside the home then he should be getting his sleep. He has to work @3:45 am?
mandalou86
by Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 8:56 AM
He gets up at 345. He has to be at work at 5.
ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Sep. 25, 2013 at 9:10 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry, but I feel it's your responsibility to get up with the baby if he has to go to work. If it were me, I'd be livid and bitter if I had to do both. I say that, because I did have to do both. My husband worked 3-11, would get home around midnight and play XBox until 4-5am. You'd think with him being awake, he could just take care of the baby. Nope, never happened. He conveniently never heard her cry. I was a full time student, taking Chemistry, Human Anatomy, and Microbiology, and had to be in class, awake, from 8am-1pm every stinking day. That was an exhausting couple of years. To top it off, because he stayed up so late, he wouldn't watch her in the mornings, I had to take her to daycare and pay for it. 

mandalou86
by Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 9:17 AM
I dont understand how so many of you say it should be all my responsibility just because I dont have to get in the car and go to a 9-5. I have 5 kids. I dont sit down all day long. At. 530 its up gettibg kids ready, lunches packed, off to school then come home and feed my 4 yr old, myself and baby. Laundry, bottles, dishes, errands. I dont get to rest. By 245 the other 3 are home, its homework, dinner, playtime, bathes and bed. I would be more than glad to work outside the home if it made sense financially but it doesnt with daycare costs. I feel like my dh gets a way easier day than me, and even says the same on the weekends when hes home and sees what my day is like everyday. Im not making him get up at 2 am. Its 11pm. He still has almost 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep after he gets done feeding. I dont get how his sleep is more important than mine.
Lovingwife1
by New Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 9:24 AM

 I have lived this almost to the tee, I have 3 kids older now but I always got up with them and I got up with my husband when he did which was anywhere from 3:30-5 am depending on where he was working at that day. I have always felt it was my place to get up and I had a job at home as well and dealt with homework and such as well. I would not dwell on it just do it and be happy you are home with your babies. Good luck.


Quoting mandalou86:

I dont understand how so many of you say it should be all my responsibility just because I dont have to get in the car and go to a 9-5. I have 5 kids. I dont sit down all day long. At. 530 its up gettibg kids ready, lunches packed, off to school then come home and feed my 4 yr old, myself and baby. Laundry, bottles, dishes, errands. I dont get to rest. By 245 the other 3 are home, its homework, dinner, playtime, bathes and bed. I would be more than glad to work outside the home if it made sense financially but it doesnt with daycare costs. I feel like my dh gets a way easier day than me, and even says the same on the weekends when hes home and sees what my day is like everyday. Im not making him get up at 2 am. Its 11pm. He still has almost 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep after he gets done feeding. I dont get how his sleep is more important than mine.


 

C.H.E.L.S.E.A
by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 9:29 AM

 I was a sahm when my son was born. I never made my husband wake up with him, but he would do it every night on his own.

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