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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

advice and support please...

Posted by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 1:24 AM
  • 6 Replies
My ex Dh and I agreed when we split up that he would have the kids every weekend.At the time it worked out fine but after a while he met someone else and decided that every third weekend they would stay home of course i didnt mind because i love spending time with my kids. So now more than a year later he tells me that he wants to go back to having them every weekend ( i was heartbroken) which he has every right to and i didnt fight him on it or say anything. he usually takes them friday night but the divorce papers say he gets them saturday morning so i decided that if i dont get them on the weekends anymore that i want to have friday nights. he thinks im being vindictive and says the weekends are his time to give and take away if he wants but i dont think thats good for the kids. He also gets them for thanksgiving this year and he asked me if he can have them the friday after and i said i dont know what our plan is for that day so he got mad and said we should make plans around the kids not around when my family comes up. I don't think its his place to say that to me friday is my day and if i want the kids to spend it with my family thats up to me. I want us to get along but i think he needs to back off he gets them more than most dads that dont have full custody. How should i handle this cause its really stressing me out? He also texts me non stop when he doesnt get his way and says things that he knows will piss me off.
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 1:24 AM
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Replies (1-6):
MomToovey
by Marianne on Oct. 7, 2013 at 2:56 PM

 How do your kids feel about this? Do you think they would rather have Friday nights with you or with him?

As far as that Friday after Thanksgiving, that's tough. I don't have to share my children, so I don't know how I'd feel in your situation. I know I hate moving back and forth, and if I had to leave home for one night, come back the next, and leave again for the weekend, I'd feel pretty uprooted. But I do understand you wanting to spend the holiday with them as well.

I just think you need to let the kids have a say. Again, this is coming from someone who isn't in this situation.

I'm sorry momma. Good luck.

kidlover2
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 3:02 PM
How old are your kids? If they are older than 7 I would definitely let them have a say in it. Is your ex-husband a good father? There are many variables to take in to account. I would be careful to appear reasonable in case your ex takes you to court and make sure that your children are safe and secure. As a mother I know how it feels, my ex-husband has my children for 1 day a week and it's hard to let go.
LnghrnFan
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 6:07 PM

That's a tough situation :(  How old are you kids?  Do they want to spend more time with him?  It's hard not to be with them, I'm sure, but depending on how old they are, you might let them have a say.  Do you think that the two of you could sit down and calmly come to an agreement?  Maybe if he wants Fridays, he'd be willing to go to every other weekend to give you time with them, as well?  Or maybe there's something else that can be worked out.  For your kids' sake, it would be good if you guys can figure out an arrangement that works for all of you.

Fayanne
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 7:31 PM
1 mom liked this

 if they aren't young enough to make an informed decision, without bias persuading them, then you go by the papers. Saturday morning it is.

How can he call you vindictive if you've been cooperative in the past? Ignore the childish texts.

KellyNips
by Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 8:08 AM

i think you are being extremely selfish and a total bitch. he is their father.  he shouldn't have to ask to see or spend time with his kids.  he should be able to any time he wants.  you really need to examine your motives on this one.  are you doing it out of spite because it sure seems like it.  your children have a father and you would be wise to remember that and not use your children as tools of revenge.

jaimej84
by Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 8:34 PM
You have it ass backwards lady thats what he is doing but you don't know all the history so you wouldn't begin to understand.


Quoting KellyNips:

i think you are being extremely selfish and a total bitch. he is their father.  he shouldn't have to ask to see or spend time with his kids.  he should be able to any time he wants.  you really need to examine your motives on this one.  are you doing it out of spite because it sure seems like it.  your children have a father and you would be wise to remember that and not use your children as tools of revenge.


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