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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

I told my boyfriend I was falling in love with him... and he didn't say anything... help!

Posted by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 12:03 AM
  • 13 Replies

First off, before I tell my story, I'd been a single mom to my almost 3 year old son for over 3 years, ever since I left my ex when I was pregnant. I never experienced a "real" relationship before my ex, or after... and there were guys after my ex, but it was more of a friends with benefits kinda thing, never serious. 

Well I started going out with someone I worked with, he left and got a job w/a better position n pay a week after he first asked me out. We've only been together for a month. We started off talking alot during our lunch breaks at work, we're both nerds and like alot of the same stuff. 

He gave me his number and a week later we had our first date. He hadn't had a date in a while, which I found out from his friends, and I haven't been with a guy for years. Anyways, things have been going really well and we started having sex on the third date. I felt fine with it at the time, but now I'm afraid it may have been too early. I must say that when we do have sex, it's very passionate. He told me he couldn't have sex with someone he didn't have feelings for, he needed a connection, so this has reassured me of his feelings a bit.

Anyways, on our last date, we were parked in his car. I have alot of issues with my family and it's constantly getting me down and he wanted to quit our date early cause he had to be up early. I guess I kinda got into a bad mood cause I was dissapointed to go home early that night and I had been having a bad day. Anyways we parked and he said that we should "talk"... so I started talking about my family issues and everything and he was super sweet about it... listened to me, didn't judge, and looked me straight in the eyes. 

To be honest, I've never had direct eye contact like that with a man like that before... It made me melt and I said to him, "You're making me fall in love with you."... he had the biggest grin on his face and looked at me with those gorgeous brown eyes of his... it just made me melt.

I have never had such strong feelings for a man and it scares me. My ex was abusive to me and other men never respected me... now I have a boyfriend that is totally respectful and chivalrous, and I guess I'm just insecure... I'm afraid that I may have freaked him out about it... cause I texted him telling him I hope i didn't throw him off with waht i said to him and all he texted back was "that's fine".... it bothers me tbh.... but he said he was tired from work so maybe he didn't feel like texting...

Sorry it's so long, but I really would like some input... I don't know how to function in a "normal" relationship. I feel like this is the right thing for me in my life, but now i'm worried I may have scared him off with my little confession. Help!

by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 12:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
anotherandree
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 12:10 AM
1 mom liked this

Okay.  Now that you texted him and he said that it was fine, LET IT GO.  If you keep bringing it, THAT will freak him out.  If you expect something back (or he THINKS you do) by bringing it up again and again, you WILL freak him out.  Just be cool and go back to normal.  It sounds like you have a great guy.

Genesis29
by Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 1:40 AM

i agree with anotherandree   be cool about it and go back to normal

Fayanne
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 5:21 AM

 you confessed, he smiled. Let it go where it may. Sex on the third date is way too early for me, but if he makes you feel comfortable enough to open up about your family, and he supported you, then maybe there's something there. Take the rest of it as it comes, without latching on too tight. Don't smother him with text messages. Let him take the time he needs. You'll be fine

98765
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 6:52 AM

I agree. Don't EVER say it or bring it up again. The balls in his court now. Let it alone. 

Liz132
by Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 7:38 AM

 It's still early in the relationship, let it go. He probably has feelings  for you too but is still figuring them out. You don't have to rush things just enjoy the way things are now

MagicTemptation
by Christina on Oct. 8, 2013 at 10:02 AM

I agree with the others. Let it be, give him time to sort out his emotions. Don't over analyze it like we women tend to do.  You are having a great time, with a good man. Enjoy that for now. 

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 10:29 AM

 I know the 3rd date is the norm now but I can't help but wonder if it might be contributing to the lack of respect OP has gotten in the past. If this one doesn't work out OP don't have sex until you both know there is love there. That's my opinion. If you are looking for a lasting relationship that is.

Quoting Fayanne:

 you confessed, he smiled. Let it go where it may. Sex on the third date is way too early for me, but if he makes you feel comfortable enough to open up about your family, and he supported you, then maybe there's something there. Take the rest of it as it comes, without latching on too tight. Don't smother him with text messages. Let him take the time he needs. You'll be fine

 

PINKmyfavcolor
by Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 11:54 AM

 Like the others said, you told him how you felt and he grinned in response. That means he likes the idea of you falling in love with him and maybe he's falling in love with you, too, but just isn't ready to admit it yet for fear of jinxing it somehow. Stop pushing and take things as they come. He'll tell you how he feels when he's ready, but if you keep pressing for a response now, you'll quite likely scare him off.

LadyBast
by Brenda on Oct. 8, 2013 at 11:54 AM

Leave it alone for now or he will leave..

Men are not like us at all, he needs time for all of this to process..

Good luck!

MomToovey
by Marianne on Oct. 8, 2013 at 4:06 PM

 Would you rather him not say it back or say it and not mean it? Let him say it when he's ready. You're only a month into the relationship, so it's pretty early to say that. He's just not there yet. Back off and he'll say it when he's ready! :)

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