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When is it time to go

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 9:30 PM
  • 11 Replies
If you have been in an on again off again relationship, what happened to make you finally work away and say enough is enough??
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 9:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Fayanne
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 10:53 PM

 marriage... I left in 04, for about a year. Went back 'for the kid's sake'... finally gave up in 2010. Nothing was going to change (temper, drinking, etc) and life is too short to be miserable. I deserve better. My kids deserve a better example of relationships.

 

AlannaMaria
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 11:00 PM
2 moms liked this

I did this for years with my ex and one day it clicked and i was so done. Nothing was changing and i knew in my heart it never would. He is still a major dead, beat dad douche bag. It was the best decision  of my life, no regrets.

roseblossom90
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 11:00 PM

I was in an on/off relationship for a year and a half. We would break up over stupid crap, then get back together, wash, rinse, repeat. Then, one time that he had broken up with me over something stupid I started hanging out with my BIL's best friend and we started falling for each other. That night, my then (ex)bf called to get back together and I told him that I couldn't. I was tired of the crap and wanted something better for myself. And now he is a lot happier in a relationship with a woman and I am happily married with two children.

Smoore922
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 11:21 PM

 I wasn't in anad on and off relationship but I stayed with my ex for a long timw with countless threats to leave if he didnt change. He was unfaithful and verbally abusive. But I guess one day it just hit me, I had to get out. I did no twant my son to grow up thinking it was ok to treat a woman that way and I didnt want my daughter to one day think it was ok to be treated that way. There was nothing left, no love, nothing. I was only there for the kids... But it was best for them that I leave... Best decsion EVER! I am happily remarried to my best friend and he is  GREAT father!

L.A.F.outloud
by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 1:43 AM

I went thru that a long time ago with one guy who was a real ass.  He was emotionally abusive, he cheated, he didn't even have a job.  I finally just stopped going back for more.  I met my first husband who really wasn't much better but not as abusive.  By the time we split up I had my daughter.  This guy actually did try to talk me into giving him another chance but I had my daughter to think of and I didn't want her growing up around him and thinking the way he would have continued to treat me was ok.  I haven't seen him for years but every once in awhile I hear word about him and he's married and he and his wife cheat on each other.  

MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 1:44 AM

I gave him an ultimatum and said we have been together long enough--either we get married or we break up and move on without each other.  Been married over 7 years.

Kikuhoshi
by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 3:13 AM
Free Buffalo Wild Wings.
Yes, I'm dead serious.

We'd been having issues, a friend of mine was sick of hearing about it and offered me free BDubs if I left him and we stayed apart. It sounds callous of me, but we were so horrible for each other and I was so unhappy with him, but... I was afraid that if I really left him, I'd be alone forever. I was a hell of a lot happier once I left him, & it became a running joke - I've even told my husband that if it wasn't for that bet, we wouldn't be together.

(I did eventually get my FreeDubs when I was about 8mos pregnant - about a year & a half later. Lol)
Fayanne
by Platinum Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 5:29 AM

 glad you found something better

Quoting Kikuhoshi:

we were so horrible for each other and I was so unhappy with him, but... I was afraid that if I really left him, I'd be alone forever.

 I think this is why many women don't leave. Sad.

                   
    Life is divine chaos
Embrace it.  Forgive  yourself.   Breathe
           And enjoy the ride....   

Kikuhoshi
by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 5:43 AM
Quoting Fayanne:

 glad you found something better


Quoting Kikuhoshi:we were so horrible for each other and I was so unhappy with him, but... I was afraid that if I really left him, I'd be alone forever.


 I think this is why many women don't leave. Sad.




It is sad. Actually sad, not pathetic sad. I kept justifying staying because we were high school sweethearts and he really was a good guy - not abusive or controlling... We were just toxic to each other & he has issues I couldn't live with anymore. I can't imagine if he had been a horrible person...I would have probably felt so hopeless that I wouldn't have been able to leave, & that scares me.
earthangel1967
by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 6:41 AM

 Well I stayed for 16 yrs because I felt afraid, obligated, guilty and trapped - looking back none of those reasons were really worth the sacrifice of staying and I should have left the first year if not before.

By the time I left I had changed my way of thinking in a dramatically empowering and positive way after reading Something More Excavating Your Authentic Self by Sarah Ban Breathnach, also at this point except  for the passion and living I did for my kids other than that when I smiled it was  only on the surface never inside, I felt like an empty shell going thru the motions of life instead of truly living. I had not one ounce of love for my ex and was happiest when he wasnt home. I thought ahead to how I might feel if I lived to be a very old lady on my deathbed if I'd regret staying in that marriage my whole life more wondering WHAT IF I'd left and what if I could have been happy after all if Ihad or would I regret the risks and consequences of leaving and taking chances more. My answer was very strongly I'd regret staying much more. Then to top it all off and to my absolute SHAME my two oldest who were very young teens came to me and asked me to leave their dad even if we had to live in a homeless shelter and be below poverty. I was shocked bc I thought my kids wouldhate me if I left their dad which is one of main reasons I stayed, I deeply regret staying to the point they tookit upon themselves to ask me to leave. I went immediately  to talk to my 2 early elementary age kids and they agreed it was sad but was the best thing. I gathered them up and left that hour.

 YVONNE



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