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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

What do you think is the key to a happy marriage?

Posted by on Oct. 11, 2013 at 7:59 AM
  • 58 Replies

The Secret to Marital Bliss May Be Totally Out of Your Control

by Jenny Erikson

Researchers at Berkley think they may have found the secret as to why some marriages experience more ups and downs than others. It seems that your penchant for marital bliss may be in your genes.

More specifically, your inclination to have your marital satisfaction be affected by emotions in the relationship may be genetic.

Ok, here’s the science-y part: They found a serotonin-regulating gene (5-HTTLPR), and then studied the variation of that gene from person to person in relationship to their happiness with their partners and marriages. You get two of these genes -- one from your mom and one from your dad.

“Participants with two short 5-HTTLPR were most unhappy in their marriages in the face of negative emotion, like contempt, but also happiest when positive emotions like humor were present. On the other end of the spectrum, participants with two long copies were satisfied with their marriages regardless of the emotional atmosphere.”

Now here’s my opinion: I call bullcrap.

How can the emotional atmosphere between you and your partner not affect your marriage? Are the people with the long genes dead inside? How can you be happy in a miserable marriage? Are these people lacking that “sensitivity chip” that Jennifer Aniston was talking about?

If I had to guess, I’d be willing to say that I likely have two very short genes, since I can’t even fathom the concept of being content in marriage in a miserable emotional environment. I’d also be willing to bet that my soon-to-be-ex-husband has two very long ones. And that’s all I have to say about that.

When it comes down to it, I believe that the marriages that last are the ones where there is mutual respect and honest admiration for your partner -- regardless of what your genes look like.

What do you think is the key to a happy marriage?

by on Oct. 11, 2013 at 7:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sonnyswoman75
by on Oct. 11, 2013 at 8:24 AM
2 moms liked this
I believe the key is trust and communication.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ShortCakeScrap
by on Oct. 11, 2013 at 8:49 AM

Agree.  If you don't have trust and communication in your marriage, it will not survive.


Quoting sonnyswoman75:

I believe the key is trust and communication.



WildPowerMom
by Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 8:49 AM
9 moms liked this

God.

Before you scoff at my belief, a true follower in Christ learns to put others before themselves.  They learn about sacrifice and finding joy in the most difficult times.  Christ directs us to forgive, to love without expectations, and to see the best in people.

All of those things (and more) are very important to making a happy life with someone.

ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Oct. 11, 2013 at 8:52 AM
Mutual respect and laughter.
shadow_lark
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 9:06 AM
I think that trust, communication and friendship is most important. Being able to have a close bond as a friend to your spouse during the natural downs in your marriage is essential. You need that to be able to sustain you when the passion ebs so you're not caught wondering if you've fallen out of love
BonitaM
by Ruby Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 9:31 AM

Staying inlove.  I don't want to be content in my marriage I want to be happy in it and for me that means staying completely head over heels inlove with DH.  Yes, we have a ton of issues but almost none of them pertain to our marriage directly.

jtsmommy11
by on Oct. 11, 2013 at 9:33 AM
God.forgiveness. respect. trust
JC2223
by Bronze Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 9:34 AM

 Communitcation, consideration, trust, respect and compassion.

lapcounter
by Gold Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 9:34 AM
Communication!!!!!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
PlaysAllDay
by Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 9:36 AM
Respect
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