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7 day challenge... Part 1

Posted by on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:03 AM
  • 13 Replies
1 mom liked this

 Let's try something! I'm curious.....

A lot of posts lately seem to revolve around the theme of a marriage or relationship starting to turn sour and go down the tubes. So... I am interested in trying an 'experiment'.

Participate if you want, or don't.

I am realizing, understanding, learning, that we women have more power to chart or change the course of our relationship with our men than we sometimes realize or want to admit.

The old saying goes...."You can't change someone else, you can only change yourself".

So... I want to see if a few simple changes might bring about a change.

For seven days, you agree to try a few simple changes in your daily interactions with your SO/dh.   You commit to trying the change whole heartedly, and without expecting any sort of 'what's in it for me?' in return. You do it simply because you want to, or at the very least, you pretend you want to.

If you already practice something like this in your life daily with SO/dh, then you just try to increase the frequency of it occuring.

If you haven't done this lately, and it's not going to be an easy habit to fall into, set up a reminder system.  New habits do not naturally fall into place. You need to practice a new habit at least a minimum of 16 - 20 times before it actually starts to become a habit.

So.. a reminder. A subtle clue that serves as your reminder.

For example (totally unrelated to SO, but helps with a habit)... I have recently dropped just enough weight to be able to wear a ring I haven't worn in a long time. I have a horrible habit of eating too many snacks. Now I wear that ring all the time as a reminder to stay away from the snacks.

Your minder might be a wedding pic you post on the fridge, so you see it as you prep for dinner, or an object that's a centerpiece at the dinner table, to remind you during your dinner conversation, or something on your nightstand, to remind you as you begin or end your day. No one else needs to know it's your reminder.

So.. here we go. First 7 day challenge.

1) Give compliments. At least once each day, you must find something to say to your SO/dh that is a genuine compliment. You do not expect a compliment in return, but you say it as genuinely as possible,.. even faking it if you have to.

Something as simple as " I admire the way you handled that at work"... or "that kiss on my neck you gave me last night really made me feel special",,, or a "You did a nice job reminding ds to brush his teeth, thanks'.

2) Ask his opinion about something.

 

Then... in one week.. report back and let us know if you noticed any inkling of change in your SO/dh's attitude.  If you get the tiniest nudge of a positive change, you've got some momentum to build on. If you get a bigger change, you've taken steps toward improving your relationship. If nothing happens, what have you lost?  A few minutes of your time?

                   
    Life is divine chaos
Embrace it.  Forgive  yourself.   Breathe
           And enjoy the ride....   

by on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LadyBast
by Brenda on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:45 AM
1 mom liked this

I have tried this he has helped me do things and I will say thank you or you smell great after a shower.. It works wonders, a reminder I have them all over pics b/c that is what I do so I am with you on this..

But I will say the small things help so much and they really do count a lot to him when you say something sweet.. The return look and hug/kiss is great!

I love this post great idea!

LadyBast
by Brenda on Oct. 19, 2013 at 10:45 AM
1 mom liked this

I think we should ask Steph to sticky this??

Fayanne
by Silver Member on Oct. 19, 2013 at 4:19 PM

 I sent her a message, good idea!

Quoting LadyBast:

I think we should ask Steph to sticky this??

 

                   
    Life is divine chaos
Embrace it.  Forgive  yourself.   Breathe
           And enjoy the ride....   

MomToovey
by Marianne on Oct. 19, 2013 at 5:18 PM

 I like this, I'll do it!

As far as giving compliments go, I already do that a lot, so it shouldn't be too hard. However, I've never really paid attention to whether or not I ask for his opinion. Oops. So I'm going to work on that one.

Thank you for leading this!

MomToovey
by Marianne on Oct. 19, 2013 at 5:19 PM

 Good idea! It'll be easier to find each new post that way! I was wondering how I was going to look for it each day!

Quoting LadyBast:

I think we should ask Steph to sticky this??

 


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Fayanne
by Silver Member on Oct. 19, 2013 at 5:47 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting MomToovey:

 Good idea! It'll be easier to find each new post that way! I was wondering how I was going to look for it each day!

 

 if there's enough interest, we'll just do a separate 'results' post so everyone can see how we're each doing, and offer support or ideas, examples if needed

                   
    Life is divine chaos
Embrace it.  Forgive  yourself.   Breathe
           And enjoy the ride....   

BellaMama7
by Member on Oct. 19, 2013 at 5:59 PM

 I try to make everyday a good one. I am going to try this just to challenge myself more.

Jennybenny01
by Member on Oct. 19, 2013 at 11:26 PM
Sweet. I'm in.
ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Oct. 20, 2013 at 10:25 AM

Nah. 

Good luck to everyone who does though, here is a bump.

ashbash1616
by Bronze Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:39 PM
Im in it will be interesting to see what comes from it!
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