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Any Differences In DH/SO's & Your Upbringing?

Posted by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 4:57 AM
  • 89 Replies

 Where there any differences in the way you and your dh/so were brought up/raised/disciplined etc?

Do you  guys raise your kids the same as either of your  upbringings or different?

 YVONNE



by on Oct. 20, 2013 at 4:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
AM-BRAT
by Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 5:00 AM
Ours were very similar. We're raising our kids completely differently. ☺
jamamama00
by Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 5:05 AM
His family was very poor, religious, and conservative. Backwood Baptists is how I can best describe them. My family was well off and Republican but very socially liberal. We were technically Catholic but went to church maybe four times. We've embraced the non-religious life for our kids, and teach them to be tolerant and open minded.
earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Oct. 20, 2013 at 5:17 AM

 We have some similarities and some differences..

SAME: We were both abused verbally emotionally and physically (me to the point of being threatened with death many times and reason to believe it would really happen) We were both  sexually abused too (the sexual abuse wasnt by our parents though). We both were creative active playful kids that played outside a lot and  used our imaginations. (we think we would have been great friends if we knew eachother when we were kids : ) Our parents were strict. We both had nice houses and yards. We both had pets and have crazy loved animals all our lives and still do. We both  had full time sahm's the whole time.

DIFFERENCES:  Although we were both brought up to believe in God, my family was much  more religious, very strict catholics and went to church a lot (I'm not catholic). Even though both our moms were fulltime sahms, Todd's mom was a wahm work at home mom, I had 1 sister and he had 1 sister and 1 brother. Although our family's were both middle income, Todd's family weren't big on  spending money on stuff like expensive clothes and things like that and he sometimes hated his clothes and his mom would go shopping and pick out his clothes which he hated. In my case the other half the time when my parents werent abusing me (especially mom would switch back and forth from best mom to worst mom randomly =she was mentally ill and so was todds mom as we found out as adults) when my parents were not being mean they actually spoiled me and my sister, bought us the best of everything and anything we asked for. My friends thought I was rich because of it and I felt like we were. My parents didnt expect us to work if we didnt feel like it and didnt push  it at all, just never even talked about it and Todds parents insisted he get a job as soon as he turned 16 no questions asked and at that point they made him buy his own clothes and his own car etc. I was very mouthy and screamed and swore at my parents starting at 13 until I moved out at 15 and lived as a homeless teen more often than not (and worked then too) until I was 17 and Todd was afraid to talk back to his parents and wouldnt dream of it until he moved out and joined the navy at 18. Oh and Todd always went to public school and I did too part of the time but for 3 yrs my parents forced me against my will to go to catholic school too which I hated. Todd gradauted and I left school at 15.

OUR KIDS;

We do NOT discipline how our parents did, we did the opposite, we used love and logic parenting, positive creative discipline, positive reinforcement, natural consequences, life lessons. We were liberal and open minded and lots of open communication about anything under the sun (our teens even told on themselves for some big stuff bc they knew then they'd get less consequences for owning up instead of getting caught). We raised our kids to believe in God or higher power and what we believe but to find their own truths that resonate within them and  to follow their own paths and to accept everyone elses. We were big on teaching lifeskills, self sufficiency and independence from a young age and insisted our kids get jobs or earn money starting at 16 and taught them other lifeskills and then treated them like adults on training wheels. I homeschooled more years than not and part of the time they went to public schools.

 YVONNE



beeky
by Alexandra on Oct. 20, 2013 at 7:51 AM

We were raised the same way but in different countries.

Fayanne
by Silver Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 7:58 AM

 I was raised in a family that was pretty dysfunctional. My father drank, my parents argued constantly and had no respect for each other. My mother admitted she basically married my father because she felt sorry for his son.

SO's parents have been married 50+ years, have a deep faith in God, and have respect for each other.

MIA0223
by Bronze Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 7:59 AM
Very different. He grew up in a huge, nice family. His mom and dad were so in love, very poor but they made a happy life for them.
When mil was pregnant with my youngest sil he passed away suddenly. She busted her butt to make a nice life for her kids in a country where women don't work usually.

My family is crap. Very disfunctional and toxic. My parents were teen parents who got married just because they had to because they conceived me days after meeting.
Very poor. My dad did drugs for a while.
Constant abuse and cheating. Until he finally met my now stepmom and got her pregnant. Divorced my mom.
They still to this day don't have their lives together.

I envy DHs upbringing and hope our kids have the same or similar to.it!
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katiebug840204
by Bronze Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:00 AM
Ours were very different. Until I was 16, I was raised in one home by both my Mom and Dad. My parents didn't provide everything I needed but my grandparents did. I never participated in any sports or anything until middle school when it was free though.

My husband however, grew up living from family member to family member. His parents were never married and split before hubby was even born. His dad was never in his life. Both his mom and dad did drugs and were/are alcoholics. So he was shuffled from place to place, family member to family member, friend to eventually girlfriends. His dad killed himself when hubby was 16.

So far I guess you would say our kids upbringing has been more like mine. We are still together after 11 years of marriage, our kids don't have everything they want but they have toys and food to eat and clothes to wear plus a few things they have wanted. BUT, housing stability hasn't been there at all. We have moved a lot because of frequent job losses.
readyforhim
by Member on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:07 AM
My x was raised wo rules and using excuses to get through life including lying. By the time I figured it all out it was years late. He is a sociopath.

My brother and I were raised in the quietest home in the world's, no one spoke to us and the parents didn't speak to each other.

I acknowledge my children, talk and support them and know how special it is to be a mother.
earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:21 AM

 Oh? How interesting! What countries were you each raised in? What country do you  live in now? Do you guys ever visit the other country/ies?

Quoting beeky:

We were raised the same way but in different countries.

 

 YVONNE



beeky
by Alexandra on Oct. 20, 2013 at 8:28 AM

 

We were both born in England, but he was raised in England and I was raised in Montreal, Canada. 

I've lived in both countries twice lol but we live in Ontario, Canada now.  We try to go to England every few years to visit family (both his and mine).

Quoting earthangel1967:

 Oh? How interesting! What countries were you each raised in? What country do you  live in now? Do you guys ever visit the other country/ies?

Quoting beeky:

We were raised the same way but in different countries.

 


 

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