Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

How do you trust again?

Posted by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:03 AM
  • 20 Replies
I am not going to go into great detail but found out dh was talking to a past "friend". He had a pic of hers from fb saved on his laptop after defriending her. He says nothing happened and they were only friends but he has lied abt cheating before. The pic was a sexy pic shall we say. So he deleted it along with pics from other girls I don't know. I'm trying everything to make this marriage work. But I don't see the point if there is no trust. Help please.
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:03 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
.Peaches.
by Bronze Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:12 AM
3 moms liked this

If he's not willing to put any work into it or make changes, then it's not gonna work- you can't be the only one in the relationship who wants to keep it.

Have you tried counseling? How long have you two been together, and how long was this going on? What have you told him before, and what did he say in response?

gmoen1977
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:12 AM

Without trust it does make a relationship very hard to move forward.  It an be done but he would need to be an open book and allow you to see everything he does on phone and computer.  When the lies continued I went so far as to put a Trojan on his computer and that was when I finally filed for the divorce and gathered evidence of his lies.  Not just simple lies but told girlfriends his wife was dead or left him with a child we never had.

orchardmoma
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:15 AM

If this is a pattern and he keeps doing it, I don't know how you could ever trust him again. I'm sorry. If it was a one time thing, he admits to screwing up, gets help for it.... Then you have a foundation to build trust from. But if you aren't sure he won't do it again..... 

NDNQT
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:28 AM
We have been together for 8 yrs. Don't know how long it has been going on. I have mentioned mc and he doesn't see the point. He has apologized for getting caught. When I try to talk to him abt it he gets defensive and tries to turn the blame on me. I used to have full access to his accounts and phone. I don't now. I'm an open book with him. He on the other hand is not. I never know what he is doing. He is always on his phone or laptop on the love seat never next to me. If I go near him he is like what do you want?
NDNQT
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:34 AM
The sad part is I got over our past trust issue. He lied abt cheating on me with his ex wife. I knew somehow before she even told me. And after she told me I asked again for the 3rd time and he still denied it. It wasn't until after I told him she already told me that he confessed. It was similar to that this time. He was accusing me of sneaking up on him all the time when I walked into a room. So I investigated by whipping out his phone and laptop while he was asleep. I have to catch him and have undeniable evidence before he admits anything.
Dreamly
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:47 PM

If he has already lied about cheating before, and then do this, then I don't know how you could trust him again. 

kidlover2
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:49 PM
2 moms liked this
It's not your job to blindly trust him. That's idiotic. If he lost your trust then he needs to earn it back.
xoxRachelxox
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:51 PM

In my opinion, there's never any reason to have pictures of other woman when you're married or even in a commited relationship. Honestly, I'd have a hard time trusting him too. If there isn't trust, there's not point in being together. You'll always question everything he says or does. 

fightgirl038
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:53 PM

I find trust a HUGE part of a relationship. IF you don't have trust in a relationship then the relationship is doomed. I don't like saying that because I feel every relationship can survive but sometimes there are thing just cant help.

But like peaches said, if he isn't willing then the relationship won't work. If he denies it up until he gets caught then why do you stay? I know you love him. But if he isn't willing to try and fix the relationship then its time to walk away.

furbabymum
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:56 PM

 He's cheated before? He's doing it again? I'd only forgive cheating once. Now you have an established pattern. Accept it or move on.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN