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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

LOVE my husband, Can NOT stand his mother or sister.

Posted by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:14 AM
  • 40 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Do you marry the family when you marry the man?

Options:

Yes

No


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 45

View Results

I have tried, I really realy realy tried.
My husband is amazing, he is seriously the greatest! He is sweet, kind, strong, and puts me as his number one. But his family... I just can not... His dad is alright, he doesn't hate me, we just wish he would stand up for himself and be less... depressing...
His granny (on his mothers side) is so sweet too, his mother has not spoken to her in a year, we ran into granny at walmart the other day and she just smiled and hugged us, I really like her.
But as far as his family goes, Those are the only two I like.
All of the rest of his family HATES me, (Yes, ALL OF THEM literally HATE me)
HIs aunts aren't that bad, they hate me, and talk bad about me but we to not see them, Ever and husband has not felt the need to speak to any other them even before we met.
But his mother and sister put me through H*LL.devil Yup that is them.
His mother Puts HIM down, says he calls me names, and does mean things to me (Like that he followed me around and forced me to take my birth control cause he didn't want kids with me, he didn't even know what kind of birth control I was on LOL.) And she makes snide comments about how he isn't what she thought he should grow up to be and he isn't like the rest of the family and how his sister is better than him. She has called me EVERY name in the book. She has even STOLEN from us! She threatens me and has made fake facebooks to make drama. She is best friends with all his ex girlfriends (who all treated him like crap, not even being bitter, just telling the truth one would lie to his family about him being mean to her, one cheated on him, and one acutally tried to physically hurt him on more than one occasion. I treat my husband like a king!) she Divorced my husbands dad, to marry a man she cheated on him with almost 30 years ago! she found his neice on Fb while still married to husband dad and then cheated on him with the same guy again, then divroced him (Which is why he is SO depressed!) but she is best friends with his neices (one of which has a crush on my husband and the other tried to get him fired from his job) They also harass us. She lies to everyone about me which is why the whole rest of his family hates me.
here are some key things she has said : "What do you do when your sons b*tch is in your yard screaming and covered in blood? reload, aim, and try again" She has called me a Wh*re countless times, (I have only been with ONE man, My husband, my entire life, he was my first boyfriend!) She said her daughters kids are her favorite and when told we were trying to have kids she said she didn't care, no kids of mine would be her grandkids (That I am actually SO HAPPY about) She put me and hubby down by belittling our last name then when I told her it hurt hubbys feelings she called us stupid and went off on us. -_- She has hated me since I met my wonderfull hubby simply because he loves me. she has threatened my LIFE (yeah and said "I WISH SHE WOULD JUST DIE ALREADY!") She also told Everyone that I did not even go to the hosiptal when my husband was hit by a car (we slid into a car, no damage to anyone or anything but our car, then another car slid into us and a hunk of metal cut hubbys leg.)
His sister is just like her. Threats, drama, name calling everything.
They both also BLAME me and hubby for EVERY bad thing that has ever happened to them. Someone called family services on his sister, (And I don't blame them) but they immediatly claimed WE did it! Although we didn't Although we should.
I also just recently found out she hit hubby with her fists when he was young and picked him up and threw him face first on the grounf for busting cement blocks in a feild behind a building. -_- That was THE LAST STRAW. Put me down all you want, but do NOT mess with my husband! angry
So anyways.
I also got pictures from her a long ways back to scan (My husbands baby pics and only to scan and then return) She comes to my grandmothers house yelling and threatening everyone there because it took  me more than an hour to scan them and She was mad I took her scrap book with the rest of the pics (she KNEW I was taking it bcause my husband said IN FRONT OF HER and in audiabe volume "I want copies of those three especially)
We have recently decided to start trying to have kids.
Now My family LOVES my husband, he is thier son/grandson/brother/nephew/uncle.
And they can not WAIT for us to have kids.
We have kicked his family out of our lives comepletely (aside from the father and granny) but they stalk me and try everything to start drama with us.
I worry about them stressing me out when I get preg. I worry about the baby and the impending drama after we have our first baby and she tried to change her tune (for all of five mins like she always does when she wants something) and then act up again. she alreayd said she wont care for our kids and I told hubby that I will NOT let them see her, he agrees.
I don't want anyone but hubby in the deleivery room with me but I don't even want them in the hospital!
They are just *ssholes.
They havent done anything for hubbys bday in years. In fact his sister had her labor INDUCED EARLY so she could have her youngest baby on his birthday because she couldn't stand for him to have any attention and as soon as she did it is like hubby didn't even have a birthday any more (Jokes on them because we celebrate it fine by ourselves.) We hope that when his sisters kids are old enough they will understand why we weren't around.
Whew well I needed to vent. I don't know how we will deal with them, I worry about it a lot. I do not know why they would hate someone who loves thier son/brother so much. (But i guess it is cause they don't love him, they have threated his life before as well)
have a nice day thanks for the vent and any advice or similar stories to help me feel not alone.
I married my husband, NOT his family!

(P.S. hubby agrees with me completely, he used to try to get me to get along with them more until he saw that I was trying and they were not.  but he is supportive of me and tries to lesssen the stress but they keep on and it stresses him out too)

by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
BonitaM
by Platinum Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:27 AM

My parents hated my DH....still do and his parents hated me...now they like me.  At any rate we both made it clear that if they weren't going to support us they'd keep it to themselves or they wouldn't be a part of our lives anymore.  They decided to shape up instead of ship out. :)  I'm happy.  Family is very important to both of us but we won't allow anyone to mess with our marriage either.  Honestly, in your situation DH and I would just move away and not have any contact with anyone of them except the dad and grandma unless they would give out that information to the other family members. 

Mrs.Suits08
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:32 AM

I don't think they would, We gave them our new numbers and they have yet to give out that info to the offenders. I am glad my family loves hubby. But most of his family decided to ship out and that is cool with us, but they keep sailing back by us to fire their cannons on us then sail away again. We would move if hubbys job wasn't here and my family wasn't close. we will soon be moving to a house hopefully a city or two over and they will not be allowed to know where. Hubbys friends all grew up calling his mom mom and so they like to spill info to them.


Quoting BonitaM:

My parents hated my DH....still do and his parents hated me...now they like me.  At any rate we both made it clear that if they weren't going to support us they'd keep it to themselves or they wouldn't be a part of our lives anymore.  They decided to shape up instead of ship out. :)  I'm happy.  Family is very important to both of us but we won't allow anyone to mess with our marriage either.  Honestly, in your situation DH and I would just move away and not have any contact with anyone of them except the dad and grandma unless they would give out that information to the other family members. 



BonitaM
by Platinum Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:39 AM

 Good for you guys.  I hope once you move they'll leave you alone.  Either his friends will need to learn to keep that info private or not get it in the first place cause that could bring the drama right back to you.  I really don't understand why people like to meddle in others lives just to cause drama. :(  Good luck!

Quoting Mrs.Suits08:

I don't think they would, We gave them our new numbers and they have yet to give out that info to the offenders. I am glad my family loves hubby. But most of his family decided to ship out and that is cool with us, but they keep sailing back by us to fire their cannons on us then sail away again. We would move if hubbys job wasn't here and my family wasn't close. we will soon be moving to a house hopefully a city or two over and they will not be allowed to know where. Hubbys friends all grew up calling his mom mom and so they like to spill info to them.

 

Quoting BonitaM:

My parents hated my DH....still do and his parents hated me...now they like me.  At any rate we both made it clear that if they weren't going to support us they'd keep it to themselves or they wouldn't be a part of our lives anymore.  They decided to shape up instead of ship out. :)  I'm happy.  Family is very important to both of us but we won't allow anyone to mess with our marriage either.  Honestly, in your situation DH and I would just move away and not have any contact with anyone of them except the dad and grandma unless they would give out that information to the other family members. 

 

 


 

Mrs.Suits08
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:42 AM

I know. They should spend more time enjoying thier own lives rather than making other peoples lives harder.
They will have to learn to keep thier mouths shut, hopeing since he is making more freinds at work the older friends will get lee info and be less important. Bad to say, but they all hate me cause of lies from a mean woman anyway so who needs them lol. I guess some people are just mean and bored. lol, misery loves company.

MagicTemptation
by Christina on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:13 PM

 I'm sorry but I do not understand. If you and your husband cut them out completely, then how are they still giving you guys hell? Block their numbers, stay away from them, do not allow them over, make your facebook profiles and such private, if you both work, request to management that if his family come into your place of employment they may cause a scene, so ask that they be banned. If you have no communication with them at all, it is hard for them to be able to put you guys down.

As for the poll. I voted No. I have nothing to do with my family, so my dh has nothing to do with them. When we first started dating his family hated me. Now his mom and I get along great. One half of his family are drug addict whack jobs, so I refuse to let the kids or I have a relationship with them. The other half I get along with ok, but have no desire to be close to them. Since dh isn't too close to anyone but his mom, we rarely have issues. Our biggest issue is his cousin who has a child our age and they ride the bus together, she has her 9 year old son say hurtful things to our kids. Our kids have learned to ignore him.

Mrs.Suits08
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:17 PM

Our Fbs are private but they make fake ones and since facebook made the bright idea of having an "other folder" (I hate it so much) rather than not letting anyone not friends message you there isn't much I can do, they don't have our numbers but have our address and drive by to harassas about once a week.
We could have restraining orders put on them, but with in a week they would be in jail and we would have to deal with court and crap and ain't nobody got time for dat.....

momsince1985
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:26 PM

We're such a close family that when you marry in, you marry the family. However, that's not the case for every family. My son-in-law joked that he's marrying "the whole fam damnily". But that's just us

Mrs.Suits08
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:34 PM


It is nice that you are all so close. :-) My hubby married into my family (well for the most part, there are some of my family I do not speak to.)

Quoting momsince1985:

We're such a close family that when you marry in, you marry the family. However, that's not the case for every family. My son-in-law joked that he's marrying "the whole fam damnily". But that's just us



kidlover2
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:42 PM
I voted no. I come from a very dysfunctional family and so of course I married a man from a dysfunctional family. My mother truly does love my husband and not the appropriate kind....and I have never met his father because his dad is in and out of mental facilities. His mom seems pretty nice and his sister in law hates my life. My family accepts him pretty well for the most part barring my overly sexualized mother. We have limited contact with everyone.
Mrs.Suits08
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:44 PM

Yeah, it seems to be more common these days to have dsfunctional families.

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