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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Help getting in "The Mood"

Posted by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 4:23 PM
  • 14 Replies

Being 5 months pregnancy, i'm really not in the mood for sex.  I used to be (with a little of liquid courage).  The hubby now just want sex without any type foreplay, or at the very least a kiss...

Help!  I don't want sex or lack thereof to ruin my marriage!!

by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 4:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Fayanne
by Gold Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 5:18 PM

 well, he needs to realize that foreplay is important to you, so make that clear. Encourage him to kiss, touch, cuddle, fondle, etc.

HE should want you to enjoy it too, and I think it would be great for his ego to make sure you are satisfied.

What's he usually like? I can't imagine this is a sudden thing for him....

AlannaMaria
by Alanna on Oct. 24, 2013 at 5:21 PM
You need to communicate what you like. Tell him you need him to cuddle you, foreplay, kiss you...

Congrats on your pregnancy and good luck!
furbabymum
by Gold Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 10:48 AM

Anytime a man stops caring about pleasing the woman he's with you might as well turn into a blow up doll. I think it's a huge red flag.

Dmples5
by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 1:17 PM

UPDATE...  Still no effort being made, on both parts.  I take responsibliity for my non-aggressive behavior.  I was told last night...  It's been 7 days since we've made love.  After a comment like that, what am I expected to do?  I would rather not have that comment be made, just come over and kiss/ initiate intimacy.  Maybe tonight I will initiate and see if he's receptive.....

Wish me luck!

Marimaru
by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 1:20 PM

Okay well, foreplay is definitely a compromise here.  "If you want to have sex, you have to warm me up.  You can't just dive in.  If you don't want to warm me up, then we aren't having sex."

ArmyWife112908
by Bronze Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 10:24 PM
I'll read some dirty short stories and tell him your pregnant he can't just dive in you need to get worked up or her cam hurt you.
Proud2bamomma
by on Oct. 26, 2013 at 9:35 PM

It might sound crazy, but seriously, dress up.. get yourself feeling sexy and like a woman, wear some lingerie, a bra and panties will work, trust me, guys are easily impressed haha. If you feel sexy, and you can tell hes interested, it will help. Also, if youre worried about foreplay, do a little "self help" before he comes to bed... and also, communicate. Tell him what you want, he cant read your mind. Good luck!!

christina259
by Member on Oct. 26, 2013 at 10:08 PM

I heard something once that really summed it up well. (I sometimes have the same problem) 

it was that when it comes to sex women are like ovens and we like to be "warmed up" to sex. Need to be preheated and once heated we like it to last a while.Men are like fireworks, once lit, they go off with a bang and then there done.lol. I don't even remember what book or show I got that from but I think its true. When men realize this difference, there tends to be more sex. So foreplay is important. Women need it and men need to understand this if he wants his fireworks to go off with a bang and not a dud. :-) maybe he'll understand if you put it that way or at least you two can get a good chuckle from it. My husband likes to surprise "attack" me at the worst times. My mind is so far away from sex. I'm usually up to my elbows in my to do list and chasing kids, haven't so much as put on decent clothes yet.  then he seems offended that I'm not in the mood. What he don't realize is its not about not being attracted to him, it's that I haven't been warmed up yet. After thinking about sex a while I usually come around . If I'm dog tired I have a hard time getting in the mood to and I'm sure pregnancy can do that to you to so don't be to hard on yourself. It helps me to think dirty thoughts. Then add a soft kiss on the neck from hubby, and so on.....hubby has to do his part or I get turned off to.

Fairfieldwizard
by Member on Oct. 27, 2013 at 7:59 AM

You could try getting your foreplay in places where it would be difficult to have sex... Shower, car garage, in public, etc. 

also, Christina259 is right, we like to be warmed up, but to finish the thought, as you have found, men don't need to be. They're like firecrackers... Light the fuse and stand back. :) Talk to him. Make a deal with him that you'll give it to him his way half the time if he'll give it to you your way the other half.

PartyGalAnne
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 1:19 PM

You INSIST on foreplay, or he doesn't get any.


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