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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

We are finally on the same page AND I love him more for it!!

Posted by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 1:20 AM
  • 22 Replies
1 mom liked this

Dh and I have been at odds for one reason or anothe for the last 2 years. I have gone to therapy to understand what needs to be work on and if there was something that I was doing to contribute to our problems. I have fixed what I needed to fix and DH didn't. Finally I got tired of just looking the other way and swollowing my "needs".


I started to fight for myself and my needs. I confronted him on EVERYTHING,  I told him everything the therapist told me was a problem. Finally I told him if he didn't acknowledged he has things he needed to work on I was taking dd and leaving. He has had two appointments with the same therapist I have been seeing and we have had a couple of majory fights where I held nothing back and he is now seeing that there are things that he needs to work on.


One of the things I did tell him is if there is anything about me or my behaviour that is an issue he needs to speak up about it so we can address it. I know that a marriage takes two to make it work and I am not willing to let my marriage fail for the lack of effort.

I love him and He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He pulled me from a very dark place and showed me what real love was. He now understands that I want to get back to that kind of love with him. I also know that he feels like I don't "need " him anymore because over the last 5 years I have grown as a person and it makes him feel lost and uncertain about us. After the last few conversations I have had with him I know we will make it because above all we LOVE each other and have not lost that with everything we have been through.




by on Oct. 25, 2013 at 1:20 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jonsgirl99
by Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 1:22 AM

BUMP!

jonsgirl99
by Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 1:29 AM

BUMP!

jonsgirl99
by Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 1:42 AM

BUMP!

jonsgirl99
by Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 1:52 AM

BUMP!

jonsgirl99
by Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 2:03 AM

BUMP!

jonsgirl99
by Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 2:28 AM

BUMP!

jonsgirl99
by Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 3:11 AM

No one has anything to say?? I just had to share and see if others think we are making progress.

Fayanne
by Gold Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 5:52 AM
2 moms liked this

 First of all, you are posting and bumping at 1 am... there aren't going to be a lot of people here then. Most activity doesn't pick up until later in the morning.  6 bumps beween 1:30 and 2:20 am is a bit excessive.

Second, men need to be 'needed'. They need to be that knight in shining armor to somebody, and they are lost when they don't feel needed.

And communication with men needs to be black and white. They aren't good at interpreting between the lines.

Greet him when he walks through the door, thank him for the work he's done to put food on the table and a roof over your heads, and ask him for help in decision making about things, and his opinion. Stop criticizing, and you'll likely see big differences.

It sounds like you've made some positive progress. Good job!

Hopefully you're more patient with your husband than you are with your posts.

MooreBoysMama
by Bronze Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 6:51 AM
I'm not sure what to say? Maybe it is early but Cliff Note it for me.
ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Oct. 25, 2013 at 7:27 AM

Ok, I'm confused about the whole, "I grew as a person and it makes him feel uncertain about us". Did he love you more when you were different? Why does growing as a person make men uncomfortable? And what are you doing to "make him feel needed"? Do you have to revert back to who you were before you grew?

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