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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

ever since i had my baby me and my boyfriend have been argueing all the time. how do i stop this, im afraid its gonna break us.

by on Nov. 7, 2013 at 4:03 PM
Replies (11-16):
OMGLasersPOWPOW
by Krystal on Nov. 9, 2013 at 10:15 PM
Your whole world gets shifted upside down when you have a baby. How long ago did you have him/her?
Mrseoc
by Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 8:31 AM
1 mom liked this

it's tough after you have a baby. Typically the mother is on overload with baby care, laundry, lack of sleep, and her hormones going crazy, and trying to heal after a baby. IT's just craziness after a baby comes home. 

My husband and i fought for the whole first year. I felt like we had finally reached the end. I felt like it was what was going to destroy us. I felt like i had just been "holding on" up until that point and he wanst going to stick around anymore.

But what actually happened was it stopped, and we got stronger as a couple. Now we both feel as if we conqured. We both feel like we "made it through" something together and it made us solid as a rock.

I do admit it took a lot on both our parts. We had many talks, each one more progressive than the last. I would explain to him what it was like, because he has no idea... like you have no idea what it's like for him. through communication, and compromise we got to a happy place in our marriage. But i would not say it was easy.

If you want to make it work, then make it work. As long as no one is being abused or cheated on a believe you can make it work out. Talk to him and make sure you're on the same page, make sure he's going to work at it to. Come up with agreements.. he could let you have a night off on certain days, or he could take over certain responsabilities.. or maybe there is something you could do for him.. just ask him.

bottom line... COMMUNICATE.. and then find COMPROMISE.

Mrseoc
by Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 8:34 AM

 

Men have no idea what to do with babies. All they know is tossing them in the air, chasing them around, or playing sports. They dont know how to "dance" with a baby, they are bored by showing baby toys. Men cant brestfeed, nor are they good at baby baths. lol it makes me laugh remembering my husband in the beginning. He had no clue.

Quoting motetsi:

I had the same prob, although we argued most of the pregnancy too. I think HE had post pardom! I was hormonal too. We got through it, but I thought it was going to be the end also.
I bf, so I also think he was jealous of my bond with the baby early on. He also seemed like he did not know what to do with the baby, so I kept encouraging him.
I would literally have to ask him to hold our newborn, this went on for months. He finally snapped out of it, and once he saw my hormones were leveling off, we got back to normal. Then he came out of his funk too.
Rough, rough, so I feel your pain.


 

damoncon
by on Nov. 10, 2013 at 2:01 PM

my son is 5 months

Monsita
by Silver Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 5:30 PM

 


Quoting damoncon:

my son is 5 months


 I totally know what you are talking about......

Your baby is your full time job...your partner is probably not having a clue on how to help you and it is driving him crazy: It was what  I found out when my husband finally opened up to me...

These way of thinking made Dad feel frustrated and get mad easily to us...the Mom's

It is a stage!

naj2013
by on Nov. 10, 2013 at 7:35 PM
Great Advice!


Quoting beeky:

Step 1 - Just stop!  It takes two to argue. 


Step 2 - Learn to pick your battles.  If it isn't worth fighting about, then don't pick a fight or engage him if he tries.


Step 3 - Choose your words carefully.  If you want him to do something, make it a request not a demand.


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