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INSPIRATION for troubled marriges?

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Hey guys. I need some encouragement and inspiration. I love my husband and little family we have grown to have (2 little ones) but my marriage has been TREMENDOUSLY rocky since we got married close to 3 years ago. My hubby has issues with self-control when it comes to anger and has a very negative mindset with life. We do not argue all the time, but we argue on occasion... and when we do argue, it is like SERIOUSLY terrible. Like hubby is VERY emotionally abusive and likes to spit out empty threats just to "scare" me (like he wants to divorce, cheat, etc.)

With that being said, is there anyone out there that has been able to turn around a troubled marriage and work it out in the END? Any "happy endings" or stories of hope/encouragement?

**AND BY "HAPPY ENDINGS" I DO NOT MEAN A DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE. SORRY FOLKS, I JUST DO NOT BELIEVE IN DIVORCE (only in cases of adultery) SO ABSOLUTELY DO NOT GIVE ME THE "YOU-SHOULD-DIVORCE" TALK.**

I want to hear some encouragement stories, not escape plans.
by on Nov. 9, 2013 at 1:24 AM
Replies (21-24):
mbgb
by Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 8:50 PM

Yes! We have been to counseling, I have read several books. The more I heard, the more of the same it sounded and not a ONE helped me get out of the rutt. I was ready to go out the door. I came across two websites that have helped me and they are Christian based about "standing" for your marriage. One lady fought with her husband for 27 years and was miserable, and started reading more into the way the Bible commands the wife to be. She keeps a blog and it is amazing to hear her faith and how their marriage has changed. Same with the other, a marriage that was restored after divorce, him living with another woman, and then they came back together and remarried. All because she prayed for her covenant husband, and never had to say a word to him. Neither women did, they just prayed. And obeyed. It's not a curse, but truly a blessing and has blessed me more than I ever imagined doing thigns "my" way.


My dad always quoted a line from the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding: "The man is the head of the household, and the woman is the neck that moves it." Something to think about... ;-) Good luck!


Quoting Aarla93:

Most definitely agree! I am definitely working on trying to be a "Proverbs 31" wife. And I do believe it works. Sometimes it can be extremely difficult to do, but I know it is worth it anyway. Glad you mentioned it!

And honesty, I think it has worked some to "better" himself ever since I have tried to practice being a biblical wife.


Quoting mbgb:

Marriage is hard work. You are a Christian? This is not popular but have you tried being a submissive wife as in Ephesians 5:22? not a secular way, but one who follows the Proverbs 31 wife to a tee? The more often you become a wife the bible describes, the more youll see your husband change his actions and also soften and give you more grace if you mess up in his eyes. You can win him over "without saying a word." (Read 1Peter 3:1-6) Your actions hav the power to control his. PM me if you want more real life advice. It saved my marriage.



Mom to Margaret and Rebecca
Aarla93
by Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 9:56 PM
YES!!! What is the name of the woman's blog?? I would love to read it! And I agree that doing things "my" way really would have worsened my marriage SO drastically -- a good reason why we are still together is because I chose to be SUBMISIVE rather than to fight back. Those stories about those troubled marriages are really wonderful to hear!! And I really like that quote!!

Quoting mbgb:

Yes! We have been to counseling, I have read several books. The more I heard, the more of the same it sounded and not a ONE helped me get out of the rutt. I was ready to go out the door. I came across two websites that have helped me and they are Christian based about "standing" for your marriage. One lady fought with her husband for 27 years and was miserable, and started reading more into the way the Bible commands the wife to be. She keeps a blog and it is amazing to hear her faith and how their marriage has changed. Same with the other, a marriage that was restored after divorce, him living with another woman, and then they came back together and remarried. All because she prayed for her covenant husband, and never had to say a word to him. Neither women did, they just prayed. And obeyed. It's not a curse, but truly a blessing and has blessed me more than I ever imagined doing thigns "my" way.


My dad always quoted a line from the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding: "The man is the head of the household, and the woman is the neck that moves it." Something to think about... ;-) Good luck!



Quoting Aarla93:

Most definitely agree! I am definitely working on trying to be a "Proverbs 31" wife. And I do believe it works. Sometimes it can be extremely difficult to do, but I know it is worth it anyway. Glad you mentioned it!



And honesty, I think it has worked some to "better" himself ever since I have tried to practice being a biblical wife.




Quoting mbgb:

Marriage is hard work. You are a Christian? This is not popular but have you tried being a submissive wife as in Ephesians 5:22? not a secular way, but one who follows the Proverbs 31 wife to a tee? The more often you become a wife the bible describes, the more youll see your husband change his actions and also soften and give you more grace if you mess up in his eyes. You can win him over "without saying a word." (Read 1Peter 3:1-6) Your actions hav the power to control his. PM me if you want more real life advice. It saved my marriage.




OHgirlinCA
by Silver Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 9:59 PM
1 mom liked this
If you don't want to get out of your seemingly abusive relationship, try to get him to go to couples counseling or to take an anger management course and hope that helps him control his anger better.
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Blessed_Mom2010
by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 9:59 PM
1 mom liked this

My husband and I were like that and we went to a program called Celebrate Recovery. It helped him figure out the root cause of his anger and he dealt with it. We are doing better but it is going to take the desire to change. Does he want to save the marriage? Does he know how you feel? Maybe Marriage Counseling is in order! Be Praying for your marriage... and good for you that you dont believe in divorce!!!!

May God Bless You & Keep You!

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Vanessa

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