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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

When and if your SO gives you the silent treatment...

Posted by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 8:52 AM
  • 38 Replies

After an argument whether or not the argument was your fault. Does your SO give you the silent treatment? If so how do you deal with it?

The situation I am having now happened to be my fault. And yeah it was petty. But it was something he wanted to do so I let him do it. While I didn't make it easy I let him have his way. After I asked if he was angry I even said your giving me the passive agressive silent treatemnt. He said no I'm not angry. I've tried to give him a hug or two, a kiss, I love you good night, extend the olive branch. He does hug back, kiss back and say I love you. But ya know when you can tell you're getting the cold shoulder?

As history has it this will go on for a full day or two. I got the silent treatment this morning while we were getting ready for work.

Thoughts?

by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 8:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
HIJKLM
by Bronze Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 8:56 AM
1 mom liked this
DH and I don't usually fight, we do the silent treatment until we calm down enough to talk. I'm as stubborn as he is so it can last days with us. I'm not sure how to advise you because I don't know you or your DH but for us we just leave each other alone for a while. Usually he caves first (even if it's my fault) and by then I'm no longer mad.
Beautiful31mom
by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 8:56 AM
1 mom liked this

No, we do not give the other the silent treatment, it seems Immature imo. We communicate like adults.

MagicTemptation
by Christina on Nov. 11, 2013 at 9:27 AM

It's not really him giving me the silent treatment. For him, he is anti confrontational and hates arguing, or having me upset with him. His solution to it is to keep quiet and ignore the situation in hopes it will pass. He doesn't do it out of spite or anger.


If you dh is giving you the silent treatment to be mean, then he is acting childish. Ignore the tantrum, or attempt to get you riled up. Just go about your day acting like he isn't there. The silent ttreatment is only effective if he knows it is bothering you. If he knows it is getting to you, it will continue.

mjgm1966
by Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 9:30 AM

 That's how it was when we first got married years ago.  We realized how much time we were wasting....and haven't done that in years.  Once the fight is over, it's over.  And we move on.

Dreamly
by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 9:30 AM

No, we never do that to each other.

MMerrill
by Melissa on Nov. 11, 2013 at 9:50 AM
1 mom liked this

No, that would get us nowhere!

Fayanne
by Gold Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:12 AM

 well, I typed a long response but my computer ate it.

My ex dh would do that, and it's nothing but emotional crap. He wouldn't talk to me or our three daughters for three or four days. No hello, good-bye, and certainly no 'I love you" to anyone. It almost always began as an issue at work, that he brought home, and then he'd blow up over something pretty minor at home, and NEVER apologize.  If I apologized, even though I had nothing I should have apologized about, he'd just push me away and say 'yeah, right'.

My mother and I did not have a good relationship, but her last words to me were "I love you". A few hours later, she was killed in a car accident just 2 miles from my house.

You never know when your last good-bye is your last good-bye. Life is too short for that crap.

I am now involved with a man who knows my history of this with the ex. I asked him to promise me, now matter how mad he gets at me, to always tell me he loves me.  We may get upset with each other, but we always make sure the other knows they are still loved.

JessiFaye
by Bronze Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:16 AM

We don't do the silent treatment. It's just not productive. It's much easier for us to keep talking things out.

AlannaMaria
by Alanna on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:26 AM
We don't do that. Maybe try talking to him again.
gonecrazi
by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:30 AM
1 mom liked this

 Dh and I don't usually fight, we have disagreements,but we don't fight. I guess it's because we both learned lessons from our other marriages.

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