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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

How to deal with this with my Bf..

Posted by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 4:00 PM
  • 19 Replies
1 mom liked this

Its been over 2 years that we are together, but things seem to be changing, he has always been the more indepedant one, he can go days without talking to me, he would be okay with not seeing me for a longer amount of time.. lately Its making me feel very unwanted, I have spoken to him about it but basically he said that its something about him and I can't expect him to change himself when he sees nothing wrong with it.

We normally spend every weekend start to finish together and he normally comes over once during the week because I have my DD during the week. He will call me every night basically to say goodnight but I just feel like he is either going to get annoyed or Im going to get really insecure.

How can I get over this and just focus on positive things?

by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 4:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Kfdmrw9312
by on Nov. 11, 2013 at 6:34 PM

It sounds like he is either losing interest in the relationship or has already began to cheat. Very suspicious, especially if the avoidance,etc has escalated more like you mentioned.

Fayanne
by Gold Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 7:33 PM

 sounds like he's really not that into you.

everyone should have their independent time, but... that's a bit much

where do you want this relationship to go? That's what you need to think about. I don't see him committing to a ring and a wedding if he's happily spending so much time away from you.

may be time to re-evaluate

Krysden
by Platinum Member on Nov. 11, 2013 at 11:31 PM

I agree with this.  

As for how to get over it and just focus on positive things..

I'm not sure I think you can, or need to get over this.   If this is just the way he is, then you have to ask yourself if that's ok with you.  It sounds like you have different emotional needs than he does, and you can't just flip a switch and make that different.   He's knows how you feel, he has already pretty much said he's not going to change.  So what he's actually saying is "I know you need more from me, & I'm not willing to give it to you because this is how I am" 

Good Luck no matter what way you choose to go with this.


Quoting Fayanne:

 sounds like he's really not that into you.

everyone should have their independent time, but... that's a bit much

where do you want this relationship to go? That's what you need to think about. I don't see him committing to a ring and a wedding if he's happily spending so much time away from you.

may be time to re-evaluate



Callaly
by Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 8:50 AM

Not every man cheats.. and hes not that type at all.


Quoting Kfdmrw9312:

It sounds like he is either losing interest in the relationship or has already began to cheat. Very suspicious, especially if the avoidance,etc has escalated more like you mentioned.


 

Callaly
by Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 8:53 AM

We talked about it last night, after over thinking everything and basically driving myself crazy, I told him how I felt, and he told me that he does like alone time, but much rather me around.

This post and my issues is steeming off of a little fight that we had a few days ago, and he told me last night that what he said was out of anger and not 100% truth but there is truth behind it, and we will work on it. See when we first started dating, I was very independant and did alot of alone time or time with friends, but I guess as time went on, basically I just got super attached and lost my own independance.

He is a good man, a good friend, a good boyfriend and amazing with my daugther, so basically we just need to work on our relationship.. like all relationships need work :)


Quoting Krysden:

I agree with this.  

As for how to get over it and just focus on positive things..

I'm not sure I think you can, or need to get over this.   If this is just the way he is, then you have to ask yourself if that's ok with you.  It sounds like you have different emotional needs than he does, and you can't just flip a switch and make that different.   He's knows how you feel, he has already pretty much said he's not going to change.  So what he's actually saying is "I know you need more from me, & I'm not willing to give it to you because this is how I am" 

Good Luck no matter what way you choose to go with this.

 

Quoting Fayanne:

 sounds like he's really not that into you.

everyone should have their independent time, but... that's a bit much

where do you want this relationship to go? That's what you need to think about. I don't see him committing to a ring and a wedding if he's happily spending so much time away from you.

may be time to re-evaluate

 

 


 

Monsita
by Silver Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 9:48 AM
He may be crazy about you....
Maybe feeling scared of the what could be next!!!
Callaly
by Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 9:55 AM
1 mom liked this

I can defenatly agree with that.


Quoting Monsita:

He may be crazy about you....
Maybe feeling scared of the what could be next!!!


 

AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Nov. 12, 2013 at 11:43 AM

Why do people always jump on the cheating bandwagon?  Not all people are the cheating type..

Quoting Kfdmrw9312:

It sounds like he is either losing interest in the relationship or has already began to cheat. Very suspicious, especially if the avoidance,etc has escalated more like you mentioned.


furbabymum
by Gold Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 11:45 AM

 Well, accept it or move on.

Callaly
by Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 3:48 PM

Quoting AnGLInterrupted:

Why do people always jump on the cheating bandwagon?  Not all people are the cheating type..

Quoting Kfdmrw9312:

It sounds like he is either losing interest in the relationship or has already began to cheat. Very suspicious, especially if the avoidance,etc has escalated more like you mentioned.


It really is annoying actually lol

"He didn't put butter on my toast this morning" and they answer " Oh I guess hes cheating already"

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