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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

a new ride?

Posted by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 7:00 AM
  • 15 Replies

When it comes to celebrating special days my SO and I are complete opposites, I enjoy spoiling him and he was raised to think it's just another day. I am completely ok with that, I just love making him smile. Well another dating anniversary came and went yesterday; no presents from him, no ring on my finger and after a 12hr shift at work he was even to tired to make love but like I said I was honestly happy enough seeing how much he enjoyed the thoughtful gifts and surprises I gave him, I LOVE making him happy. He felt guilty for putting no thought, effort or care for our anniversary so while cruising craigslist last night (like we do every night) he found the perfect truck for me at the perfect price (we started a farm together so a truck of my own that isn't the shotty farm truck would be GREAT!) he has decided tonight he will go look at it. I think he thinks of it as a scapegoat to do something nice for me after I put so much into our anniversary.

Point A: He is quiting his job in July to take our farm to full-time status so we are pinching pennies right now

Point B: I know money is the only reason he hasn't put a ring on it yet

A+B = As much as I would love my own truck we are getting along fine without it for now, I think if he was going to spent a little bit of money I would rather it be him making an honest woman out of me.

Do I keep my mouth zipped and let him buy this truck which will inturn make him feel better about our celebratory differences or do I explain to him it is an expense we need not make? In the end I want to do what is financially responsible AND make him happy.

by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 7:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MMerrill
by Melissa on Nov. 12, 2013 at 10:47 AM
1 mom liked this

Honestly, I wouldn't do it.  Why don't he take you out to a nice dinner to make up for it instead of trying to overcompensate with a truck!

AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Nov. 12, 2013 at 11:36 AM

A ring costs much less than a new truck does.  So does eloping.  Just saying..

ETA:  So does a small wedding if you're not into eloping..  LOL

deadlights86
by Emily on Nov. 12, 2013 at 1:33 PM
If you don't really need the truck I would rather have the ring.
furbabymum
by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 1:36 PM

 If you want to be married I think you need to make that clear to him. Money is not a determination of marriage. If you can't get married without spending thousands on a ring and wedding you're getting married for the wrong reasons imo!

CassieMarie87
by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 2:01 PM

My spouse is the same way, he isn't good a gift giving unless it comes to our kids. It took him 10 years to propose too, and this anniversary he didn't do anything. I'm usually the one who does things, but I stopped a couple years ago for a few reasons. I think it has a lot to do with a guy's upbringing like you said, or maybe a fear of not being able to please their spouse the way they wish they could, so they just don't do anything altogether. Which is silly, but what are you going to do? Let him know that getting a truck would be great, but you have some concerns about it. Don't suggest something else instead of a truck though, cause that might hurt him.

AlannaMaria
by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 2:39 PM
I agree!

Quoting MMerrill:

Honestly, I wouldn't do it.  Why don't he take you out to a nice dinner to make up for it instead of trying to overcompensate with a truck!

Krysden
by Platinum Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 2:46 PM

Let him buy the truck.  You said it's the perfect truck at the perfect price.   This is something he wants to do for YOU.   The marriage/wedding would be for both of you.   That said, $$ doesn't have to get in the way of getting married.  The marriage is more important than the wedding anyway.


ablox
by Aisha on Nov. 12, 2013 at 4:33 PM

I would take the money he was going to spend on the truck walk into the pawn shop and buy a ring. You'll still have money for a dinner and pish posh to the truck.

Fayanne
by Gold Member on Nov. 12, 2013 at 6:31 PM

 If the farm needs a truck, the farm gets a truck. If you don't need one for work, don't get one.

I say that because my oil changes now cost $90.. not th $25 they used to be. Gas.. 15- 16 mpg, instead of 25. Tires and brakes this past summer set me back TWO THOUSAND dollars. And that was with a discount.

EVERYTHING on a truck costs more. If money is tight now, and it's going to be when the farm goes full-time, it makes no financial sense to get a truck you truly don' t need.

Hottmomma607
by Trica on Nov. 13, 2013 at 3:19 AM
If you don't need it then don't get it.
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