ok really long story and im sure im going to get nailed for some of the choices i made. So if you dont have some kind of good helpful reply, please just move on to someone elses post.
Back in May this year me and my husband decided to start "swinging". It wasn't that we were tired of eachother and our sex life, we just wanted something different. Our sex life started getting really really exciting! the more we were with other ppl (while still together) the more we appreciated what we did for each other sexually. This went on til October at a halloween party. I had an odd feeling about the party bc it was going to be a swingers party. I told hubby that i was not ok with doing it in public with other ppl and that our rules would still be applied through out the party. Our rules were that we only played with couples, and only together. Well some friends of ours pulled me into the pool and pulled the strings of my swim suit off. That was pretty much it. I saw my hubby and asked him to come get in with us. he said he didn't want to... so then the (naked) group of us decided to go to the hot tub which was in its own room in a building. Hubby came into the room, but didn't get in either. being winter, the hosts had heated their swimming pool which was now just as hot as the hot tub, so we decided that we would just go back to the pool. A few minutes later my friend came up and said, have you seen your husband. I said no. She said, oh he's getting head right now in the hot tub room. Furious, i get out of the pool and walk naked to the the hot tub room and find him infact getting head from an older woman. (we are in our late 20's, she must have been in her late 40's) Instead of showing my fury, i come up behind him and kiss on his neck and rub his chest. Somewhat urging him to invite me to the fun. Well he didn't. Im not much for girl on girl anyway, and since i now knew of what was going on, I was ok with leaving them to it. just a bit later i got back into the pool and had a semi soft orgie kind of thing going for myself. I was being ate out, someone was sucking on my boobs, and someone else was kissing me. But it never went further than that and then it ended. Hubby walked by while this was happening and assumed that i was ok with single play since i was allowing this. So at some point he banged her. then later i got out and dressed to go make a drink and my friend said, did you know that your hubby also hooked up with this other girl? So i was completely pissed off now! Im not one to cause a scene, so i went to him like i was going to suduce him. he took me to the camper trailer that was designated for play. when we got inside to the privacy of the trailer i let him have it!!! a short while later we left. I was soo pissed that when we got home i didn't even say good night, wouldn't respond when he said he loved me, and didn't sleep with him. I woke up early (like 6 ish) still pissed and hurt. The way i see it is, without my concent he hooked up with these women. That is cheating on me! I was soo hurt by this that i decided that we were done with this lifestyle for a while until i decided other wise. We had simple rules that we both agreed to, and he broke them. That day he was all over me affectionate. We went on a motorcycle benefit run and he was constantly touching me, holding my hand, and telling me he loves me. over the next few days we got back to our normal routine of our lives. Later i talked with our couple friends and found out that they too had problems that night with rules being broken, and ended up ending their relationship. After having a deep conversation with her, i decided i just couldn't go back to that lifestyle. I only want my husband and i want to want him like i wanted other men. I want him to prosue me like he did the other women. When i told him we were completely done with the lifestyle he just got furious. I tried to explain to him that i wanted to put the effort that we were spending on others to our love life. It didn't change his attitude, he was mad that i said we were done with it. Since then he has been fine to me in our regular life but still not going out of his way to show me affection. And sexually, i bet we have done it maybe 6 or 7 times in the last month and a half. Only 1 of the times has he tried to "make love" to me by giving me a massage, then great orgasms, then sex. But still that is a far cry from the 1-2 a day that we were doing when we were swinging (and that was just with eachother!) I want him to want me again! And now since obviously there is sexual tension, every little thing sets him off and he is constantly in a pissy mood. Which inturn really makes me not want to even touch him sexually! Heck last night for example! : he works nights and we dropped his daughter off at 6. He said he was going to lay down for a nap for a while and to wake him at 10. I had to stay up with our son until he went to bed and i told hubby that i would be coming to bed as soon as our son went to bed because i was so tired. Well our son went to bed around 8, but i was caught up in a movie and wanted to finish it. So i stayed up. bout 10 minutes before it was over (around 8:30) hubby comes out of the room mad because i didn't come to bed. So he storms off back to the room. I decided that im not going to go to bed after the movie is over because i know it will wake him up and disturb him and he only had about an hour and a half left to get some rest. Around 9:30 he comes out of the room (obviously still mad) gets ready for work all while completely avoiding me. I try to explain why i didnt come to bed (which i still don't get why he was so mad about it). Any way, so he leaves for work without kissing me good night or even saying good night. I call him and again appologize. We somewhat make up, or atleast i thought until he came in this morning still in a shitty mood. So i kissed him by and told him to get some rest. Later today he came in to my office at work to pick up some papers, and gets mad because i forgot the bank book to balance the ck book. And all over again, the silent treatment and obvious mad and disappointment. I just feel like this whole attitude thing is because i said we weren't going to swing anymore.