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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

How to Confront Without Accusing??

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SO has said some things recently that were really hurtful, and I don't think he realizes it, and I know I'm overreacting because of being pregnant, but I don't know how to talk to him about it. Or if I even should. I just feel like I am so far down on his priority list, like he wants to be with me, but he wouldn't really be all that upset if he wasn't either.

He just said something really hurtful, and I don't know if maybe I should just kick him out. He works 2 hours away from home, went down there today just to get his check, and he bumped into a pole and messed up the muffler on his car. So I asked him if he was coming home after he got it fixed. And he sarcastically said no he was gonna go party with his friend all night (he's not, he's coming home). So I sarcastically said that's fine, go spend all the money and I'll go sell all your stuff that's at home so that we can still pay the bills. He was like would you really do that? And I said yeah, wouldn't you do the same if I spent all our money partying?

He said no. He said that he would just leave me. That he'd rather me leave him if he did that than sell his stuff, because it took him a long time to get it and he's not just gonna have some girl take it away.

Really? He would rather have "stuff" than me? Pregnant crazy overreacting me wants to just put his "stuff" in the driveway and tell him where he can shove it. But reasonable me wants advice on how to talk to him and tell him that was hurtful in a way that won't make him angry. What would y'all do?


by on Dec. 20, 2013 at 12:19 PM
Replies (11-18):
furbabymum
by on Dec. 20, 2013 at 5:14 PM

 He was sarcastic. I'm sarcastic all the time. I'm not sure you were sarcastic though. Your response seems awful thought out. I mean he said he was going to go party, he did not say he was goign to spend all the money so where did that even come from? This is so odd..... That's his hurtful comment? That's it? huh.

jessijames911
by on Dec. 20, 2013 at 5:17 PM

He did say he was going to spend all the money partying, that's why I said that about selling his stuff. And all of that on both ends was a joke. I knew that, he knew that, not a big deal.

What was hurtful was him saying that he'd rather lose me than lose his stuff. In a totally not joking kind of way.

Quoting furbabymum:

 He was sarcastic. I'm sarcastic all the time. I'm not sure you were sarcastic though. Your response seems awful thought out. I mean he said he was going to go party, he did not say he was goign to spend all the money so where did that even come from? This is so odd..... That's his hurtful comment? That's it? huh.


furbabymum
by on Dec. 20, 2013 at 5:21 PM

 Your post didn't say that. Your post just said he was going to go party all night. I can party all night without spending all the money. That's why I wondered why you went there.

So what kind of committment do you two have with each other?

Quoting jessijames911:

He did say he was going to spend all the money partying, that's why I said that about selling his stuff. And all of that on both ends was a joke. I knew that, he knew that, not a big deal.

What was hurtful was him saying that he'd rather lose me than lose his stuff. In a totally not joking kind of way.

Quoting furbabymum:

 He was sarcastic. I'm sarcastic all the time. I'm not sure you were sarcastic though. Your response seems awful thought out. I mean he said he was going to go party, he did not say he was goign to spend all the money so where did that even come from? This is so odd..... That's his hurtful comment? That's it? huh.

 

 

Fayanne
by Gold Member on Dec. 20, 2013 at 5:52 PM

 he was probably incredibly annoyed at having messed up the muffler, and used sarcasm to vent. Your retort just set off a snowball of crap, which was answered with additional crap.

I've learned it's just best to keep my mouth shut.

ja2010
by on Dec. 20, 2013 at 7:00 PM

Take some time away from him. Then in some time, confront him and talk to him rationally.

ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Dec. 20, 2013 at 8:02 PM

clapping 

Quoting chickadees:

Where in the hell do you girls find these guys, this scenario is like a broken record on here. And better yet, why do you sleep with them, get pregnant ultimately tying yourself to them for the rest of your lives?  Please, I really want to know?  

 

MomToovey
by Marianne on Dec. 21, 2013 at 4:17 PM

 How did things go? Have you talked to him?

jazi1105
by Jazi :) on Dec. 21, 2013 at 7:54 PM
wish I knew what to say...to me it just sounds like a conversation that turned bad due to misinterpreted sarcasm. I'd just leave it at that
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