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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Is Your Husband a Great Dad?

Dads Who Don't Change Diapers Are the New Deadbeat Dads

by Adriana Velez

dad babyWe all know the "detached dad" myth. That guy who reclines in his easy chair, reading the paper, while mom chases the kids and cooks dinner simultaneously. That guy who has never changed a diaper in his life because that's not his job. That guy with selective deafness who never seems to hear his baby crying at night or the kids arguing at the dinner table. Dad the "apprentice parent." Well guess what? A new survey is busting that detached dad myth wide open. Dads are into this hands-on parenting thing, in a big way.

In a nationwide survey of 4,000 dads, 9 out of 10 fathers of kids 5 or younger said they change diapers and bathe their kids several times a week. They also said they play with their kids and eat with them all the time. And 2 out of 3 read to their kids several times a week. Fathers of kids over 5 also claim to take an active role in parenting. Dads are more involved overall than they were just a few years ago in 2002. And they know it -- nearly 90 percent of dads said they thought they were doing at least a good job of parenting.

Well, that last one isn't surprising. Men usually aren't as riddled with guilt and self-doubt like moms are. (SIGH) I mean, if they're changing all those diapers, they're clearly living above expectations, so of course that makes them awesome dads. Also, it's worth mentioning that no one asked these dads' partners if they're really doing all this work. It's all self-reported data. But still, let's go with it.

Moms, I have two take-aways for us all.

1. Guys want to be good dads and they think they've got this whole daddy business down. So fine, let's hold them to a higher standard and let them really perform. Go for it, guys! We'll be at the bar down the block if you need us.

2. We should lower our expectations for ourselves to dad levels, because clearly that is working for the guys. Changed diapers "several times a week"? You get a gold star! Bathed your kid? High-five, you are doing "at least a good job" of parenting.

Seriously, though, I'm happy to see how seriously dads seem to take their jobs. They get it! Dads know that the real emotional fulfillment of fatherhood comes in all those little tasks they do for their kids every single day.

How do you think your husband or partner would respond to this survey?

Does he think he's a great dad, too?

by on Dec. 20, 2013 at 3:32 PM
Replies (21-28):
Idntreallycare
by on Dec. 21, 2013 at 10:32 PM

I think my husband would say he's a good dad. In the beginning it was more of an issue, but now that our son is older, he is helping more with everything

_abeauty92
by Bronze Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 11:27 PM
My DH is the awesomest dad ! When he's home he's changing diapers , bathing her , reading to her , feeding her , playing with her , he loves us & provides for us , the only thing he won't do is her hair , I mean e would comb it but that's all lOl
kenzie518
by New Member on Dec. 21, 2013 at 11:46 PM
My dh is really great with the girls. He works nightshift then stays up with the girls all day while I work. He gives baths he changes the youngest and is potty training our eldest. He feeds them plays with them and does crafts and games to. Plus he cleans! I couldn't ask for more he really is fantastic.
earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Dec. 22, 2013 at 2:48 AM

I  would agree, although I have to admit Todd rarely does anything wrong and even then  nothing big. lol He has in his past wayyyy before I met him but not since then. I dont think he thinks of my 4 bio kids as another man's children just like I honestly never think of his bio daughter as another woman's child, I think we totally forget about the other bio parents they arent even really involved and todd and I raised them as OUR 5 and it really does FEEL like  we had them ourselves together and the kids act that way too... we all agreed we believe we were always meant to be the 7 of us even before any of us were ever born.. Todd looks like he had amanda all by himself and if me and her bio  mom were in thesame room people would be more likelyto guess I was her bio mom than her bio mom she has no resemblance to her in any way. Todd says she crawled out of his mouth. haha Also our 3 girls loved it that at school everyone thought that my 2 bio girls and his bio daughter were all blood sisters. Amanda has a 1/2 sister thru her bio mom that looks completely like her total oppsoite, dont even look related and they arent that close either but our girls look related  much more so and are also best friends besides sisters. We totally forget that 2 other bio "parents" were involved when they were born. 

Plus  its no different than when someone adopts a child ... they love that child and raise him or her as their very very own, same with ours, except they really do feel like we had them ourselves together. 

Quoting mrsfitz05: I've always thought the ability to love another man's children as his own could really overshadow a lot of wrongs a man has done!

Quoting earthangel1967:

Todd is an exceptional dad... as a matter of fact before I even met him he had sole custody of  his only biological daughter and was awesome not only with her but with keeping his apt clean and organized and tidy and spending all his free time when not at work, playing with her and keeping her entertained and having fun. Then when me and my 4 bio kids came along he loved and treated them as his own and we raised the kids as OUR 5 kids. Some of my kids had special needs but he didnt even care, he just told me to teach him how to take care of them properly and he was an eager quick learner and has been there for all of them thru the good and the bad into adulthood and still is and got all their initials tattooed on him. 


View Full Size Image YVONNE

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Dec. 23, 2013 at 12:15 AM

 My husband is an amazing father. My children are so lucky.

merryvoice
by on Dec. 23, 2013 at 12:39 AM
My Husband is a fantastic Dad. I got so lucky with him.
AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Dec. 23, 2013 at 9:43 AM
My husband is a wonderful father. One of the reason I married him was that I knew he woild be a good dad. I wanted that for my future children. That was just as important to me as him being a good husband.
thatgirl70
by Bronze Member on Dec. 23, 2013 at 11:14 AM

Oh he is the best. He is so very much into his boy, loves him to pieces.

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