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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Not so attracted anymore...need advice!

Posted by on Jan. 1, 2014 at 2:32 AM
  • 16 Replies

I have a great relationship with my husband and he's so sweet and loves me so so much, just lately, I don't feel so physically attracted to him. I find things about him kind of gross- his breath, his lips and (if they're dry...usually are), his hair, he farts and burps and it grosses me out. He also looks more and more like his mother to me who I have a big history with and cannot stand. don't get me wrong- he showers every day abd dresses nicely and takes care of himself....I just don't look at him and see someone I want to kiss.

I just got back from a 5 week trip to see my ill mother and to introduce my 4 month old daughter to my family. My husband was unable to come bc of work. This was the first time we had been apart like this since we got married 5.5 years ago! I didn't miss him THAT much...surprised myself.

I'm not sure what to do from here. There's nothing WRONG with him. I just don't feel it. All my single friends (and some married :)) would kill to be with him. He's a really great guy overall.

Any advice???

by on Jan. 1, 2014 at 2:32 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Roo1234
by Bronze Member on Jan. 1, 2014 at 2:37 AM
4 moms liked this
Assume it is just one of the ebbs and flows of marriage and make a conscious effort to look at him with fresh eyes...appreciate all his good qualities. Don't think that this is permanent. .
Iconoclast
by Bronze Member on Jan. 1, 2014 at 3:24 AM
2 moms liked this
Did he just begin farting and burping? Did he used to look like someone other than the woman who have birth to him?
There's nothing wrong with him you just aren't attracted to him and he's not someone you'd want to kiss?
Right now it seems you are finding excuses to keep you from dealing with the real problem?
There's more to your story. Start from the beginning and approach the real issue in your relationship.
AlannaMaria
by on Jan. 1, 2014 at 12:59 PM
Sounds like you are very disconnected from him. Try and do things to light that spark and reconnect.
ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Jan. 1, 2014 at 3:21 PM

If you just had a baby 4 months ago you are still I'm the throes of extreme hormonal flux. It's not you that doesn't find him attractive, it's the chemical craze that your body is suffering from.

UCFknight
by Silver Member on Jan. 1, 2014 at 3:25 PM
1 mom liked this

agree with Iconoclast. There is something much deeper going on? Are you by any chance upset with him that he wasn't able to be there with you while you visited your mom? I know you said he couldn't due to work, but that doesn't mean you may not be holding a grudge of some kind. Being gone for five weeks with a baby and tending to your ill mother must have been extremelystressful. Take a step back, and try and figure out why "you aren't attracted" to him at this moment. 

My husband and I have spent a cumulative of years apart (military), and I have never looked at him as though he was unattractive, and vice aversa. It's definitely not the separation that is causing you to feel unattracted to him, it's something much deeper. Good luck.

x_Starr_x
by on Jan. 1, 2014 at 3:27 PM
Ever see shallow hal? Sounds like your being shallow
Fayanne
by Gold Member on Jan. 1, 2014 at 4:32 PM

 loving someone is a choice you make every day, even when their breath stinks and so on...

all marriages have their ups and downs, when you connect more/better emotionally, it's easier to overlook the less desirable parts. So.. he needs to hit your love buttons a bit better, IMO, and you need to appreciate what really matters, too

mvf0729
by on Jan. 1, 2014 at 4:36 PM
Find some new and exciting things to do together, maybe start scheduling date nights together at least once every other week, if your still feeling that way be honest with him, tell him that you feel disconnected maybe, you guys just need to reignite that flame you guys once had when you first met.
MomToovey
by Marianne on Jan. 1, 2014 at 4:55 PM

 Wow, I rarely open a post where I agree 100% with every single comment made. But this is one of those rare few. Everyone here had some great advice and/or insight and I whole heartedly agree with each and every post made.

The best I can add is a simple wish of good luck.

Franbuessa
by on Jan. 1, 2014 at 4:58 PM
Agreed

Quoting Roo1234: Assume it is just one of the ebbs and flows of marriage and make a conscious effort to look at him with fresh eyes...appreciate all his good qualities. Don't think that this is permanent. .
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