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Are you guilty of these 5 marriage money mistakes?

Posted by on Jan. 3, 2014 at 8:57 AM
  • 41 Replies

5 Marriage Money Mistakes Wives Need to Stop Making NOW

by Sasha Brown-Worsham

money in marriageWhen you get married at 25 like I did and you have been with your spouse since you were 22, it is very easy to completely merge your lives to an almost co-dependent degree. My husband and I do everything together, from grocery shopping to errand running to the running of our households. We don't divvy up the tasks. We do them together.

Until recently that was true of almost everything. Except money. Yes, I am embarrassed to say that after years spent as a stay at home mom and now as a working mom who is 100 percent at home, I still turned all of the financial aspects of our marriage over to my husband. We have one bank account and until about two years ago, I never even checked it. All bills were paid by him and anything that came in from any other source was always handed immediately over to him.

I am not sure how it got this way, but it was a mistake. I am changing. Not because I am unhappy in my marriage. I am as happy as ever. But I do know financial dependence on a man is not a good idea.

Here are 5 of the biggest money mistakes many smart, educated women are making right now in their marriages:

1.) Letting him handle all the bills: Take a few on yourself. It's a good idea for the marriage (even husbands get overwhelmed), but also good insurance that you are still on the ball, building credit in your name, and generally staying fresh.

2.) Not looking at bank statements: I cringe when I think of myself doing this. I was acting more like a daughter than a grown-up. Now I take responsibility for my spending and for his. We talk about our money and allocate funds better. We are a team and it also means we have more money since we are both keeping an eye out for strange charges and flawed billing in our account.

3.) Not knowing how much he makes: This seems crazy to me, but some women don't know how much their man makes. This should NOT be a secret. These are joint budget decisions and both partners should be aware of how much there is available to spend.

4.) Not keeping some for yourself: Whether you are a stay at home mom or a career woman who makes more than your husband, it is a good idea to save some money for oneself. I totally don't do this, but I need to. It's not that I think I will get divorced, but it is nice to not fight over his beer brewing hobby or my shoe collection. This would work well if we had separate piled of money. Some for him. Some for me. Perfect!

5.) Lying about spending: Let's grow up ladies! Lying about how much things costs is immature and we are acting like children when we do so. Own up to purchases. Better yet, pick an amount -- say $200. Below that you can spend without a discussion. Above that and BOTH of you need to consult the other. Done and done!

What money mistakes have you made in your marriage?

by on Jan. 3, 2014 at 8:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MagicTemptation
by Christina on Jan. 3, 2014 at 9:07 AM
4 moms liked this

We follow the Dave Ramsey envelope system. Works great for us and we both know what is going on money wise. We each get a set amount for personal use too.

theresaphilly
by Bronze Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 9:09 AM

I handle all the finances of our household, but once I did purchase a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes for $950 and he was pissed. 

mrsjksimmons
by Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 9:13 AM

None of those. I pay all the bills, we have separate accounts but are talking about switching to a joint account, I know exactly how much he brings home, I have my own job that brings in money that I can spend, & we have always been honest about how much we spend. Even Christmas presents we tell each other how much we spend.

LilliesValley
by Bronze Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 9:21 AM
1 mom liked this
I handle the money and he makes it. We communicate about money at least once a day. The only thing I don't do is set money aside but if I need something I usually get it.
RheaF
by Silver Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 9:25 AM
1 mom liked this

 He has done thie bills for about 7 years now and it has worked so much better than when we tried to plit them up. I also do not save money for myself. It is "our" money...not mine and not his. We discuss all purchases and we don't fight over them. If I want something, and we have the extra money I get it, and the same goes for him.

BonitaM
by Platinum Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 9:51 AM

1-4 and then some. :( 

LadyBast
by Brenda on Jan. 3, 2014 at 11:06 AM

I do all bills and he should do some so he knows how... I hate being in charge of all that goes on in the house.. But it will never change has not in 30 years so do not expect it too :(

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 11:19 AM

 We are doing this as well.

Quoting MagicTemptation:

We follow the Dave Ramsey envelope system. Works great for us and we both know what is going on money wise. We each get a set amount for personal use too.

 

sburger315
by Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 11:20 AM

1. Letting him handle all the bills.  

No, I do that.

2. Not looking at bank statments.  

Guilty, but we do not get paper ones. Our account is available 24/7 online.

3. Not knowing how much he makes.

 I know exactly how much and when he gets a raise.

4. Not keeping some for yourself.  

I always keep some for myself.

5. Lying about spending.  

Guilty but rare.

Luke 3/15/11    Maddie 4/29/12    Identical Twin Girls Due 5/29/14

Beautifulmom513
by Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 11:26 AM

the only thing I have done is lie about how much I spend. but its only because my husband wants me to. he is really cheap and hates spending money, even when necessary. he leaves all that up to me and doesn't want to know the exact amount of things so I often say things are less than they really are. he really knows its more.  but doesn't want to know. as long as we can afford it and its necessary he is fine with it. so we're good. he makes the money and either signs paychecks over to me. or has them direct deposited into checking account. he honestly has no idea how much money he makes because he doesn't look at it. I manage the money and make sure all bills get paid each month.

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